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...not to mention without a condom he might already be brewing up another kid with the flight attendant that he won't want to talk about...
I thought that was my point but I guess I didn't bring it up in this later post but expressed it earlier in the thread and just a few posts ago in post #13.
Wow. I have a lot of great input since my last visit! Let me see if I can comment with some clearer information...
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Originally Posted by JrzDefector
BTW, you DO realize the irony of all your talk about American girls who "play games," right???
Indeed I do.
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Originally Posted by STT Resident
Thousands upon thousands of people have tested positive for HIV and AIDS simply because the person they had sex with unknowingly carried the virus which can take up to 10 years to manifest via symptoms.
It's something which is rarely raised on this forum when so many discussions revolve around casual sex.
This was something that was actually brought up before we had sex the first time. Either way, I agree that it WAS incredibly stupid on my part to not use protection. Not just a "doh" moment, but a WTF was I thinking kind of moment.
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Originally Posted by AONE
Have you even asked to find out if she is single? You may find she has a life outside of travel. If she is available I would continue and see how her affections go. As she gets to know you, and you her that is when the child can be breached until then it is nothing more than a fling.
She is most definitely single. With her schedule (she commutes from Jersey to Detroit where she's based for now) it is nearly impossible to see or do anything. She really only gets one full day to be home before she has to hop on a plane and head back.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I hate to say this, but I don't think either of you are "fit for human consumption." You are both very immature, and frankly irresponsible, when it comes to sexual behavior. Neither of you is a particularly good communicator either.
Also, you are deceptive. If there was any depth to this relationship AT ALL - any conversations of depth - the topic of YOUR CHILD would have come up naturally. So - admit it - you've hidden that fact. It's not that you haven't already thought that you should tell her - the truth is that you've intentionally left out this very pertinent fact. That's deceptive.
Sheeze. Grow up and regroup.
The only hope I can see for this situation is if you tell her the very next time you see her, and then have a very frank and honest discussion about both of your expectations about the relationship. Also - you need to figure out why BOTH of you are so lackadaisical about the possibility of pregnancy or STDs. You need to talk this out together.
At the very least, you need to get your introspective shoes on and figure out why YOU are so seemingly unconcerned about these things. And don't say you ARE concerned - actions speak louder than words.
I don't remember who said it, but someone said we'd only been on 4 dates and let me say that it hasn't even been that. Officially, I took her out for dinner one time (it wasn't even a date, just hanging out). The other two times weren't dates, just meeting up.
At the time, since I didn't think I would be seeing her again, I didn't think mentioning having a child would be necessary. Now that we've been seeing each other (still at this point it is sparsely) I feel that it is an issue and want her to know. I just have no idea how to break it to her besides knowing that it should definitely be in person. Not that I don't care or love my child, but because at first I thought it would be more like a one night stand. That obviously isn't the case.
The subject was also brought up about how many guys she's been with (included with the "are you clean" talk) and she hasn't been with that many.
At the same time, I do realize it is all hearsay, but for now, I have no reason not to believe her.
I don't remember who said it, but someone said we'd only been on 4 dates and let me say that it hasn't even been that. Officially, I took her out for dinner one time (it wasn't even a date, just hanging out). The other two times weren't dates, just meeting up.
At the time, since I didn't think I would be seeing her again, I didn't think mentioning having a child would be necessary. Now that we've been seeing each other (still at this point it is sparsely) I feel that it is an issue and want her to know. I just have no idea how to break it to her besides knowing that it should definitely be in person. Not that I don't care or love my child, but because at first I thought it would be more like a one night stand. That obviously isn't the case.
The subject was also brought up about how many guys she's been with (included with the "are you clean" talk) and she hasn't been with that many.
At the same time, I do realize it is all hearsay, but for now, I have no reason not to believe her.
You COMPLETELY missed my point.
Quit "wandering into" these situations. Take charge of your life, and take responsibility for your actions. You slept with a woman you barely know, without protection - more than once - and apparently you know the risks of sex without protection, since you already have at least one child. That you haven't told her about, in spite of seeing her intimately on several occasions.
My gosh, people know I have kids if we meet for coffee and have a ten minute conversation! So - you're definitely hiding the fact from her intentionally. And having unprotected sex with strangers.
Work on yourself some before you inflict your issues on someone else!
Quit "wandering into" these situations. Take charge of your life, and take responsibility for your actions. You slept with a woman you barely know, without protection - more than once - and apparently you know the risks of sex without protection, since you already have at least one child. That you haven't told her about, in spite of seeing her intimately on several occasions.
My gosh, people know I have kids if we meet for coffee and have a ten minute conversation! So - you're definitely hiding the fact from her intentionally. And having unprotected sex with strangers.
Work on yourself some before you inflict your issues on someone else!
I'm sure you can recognize the fact that we're all human and when we're young, situations can arise. I'm not trying to justify my situation as I am far from perfect, but I'm also not the only one who has been in a situation like this.
By posting here, I was trying to reach out and get unbiased advice in the hopes that it may help me make the best decision in my situation. I may be wrong, but in my opinion, I think the fact that this even concerns me is at least a step in the direction of me caring and taking charge of my life.
As I said before, yes, I admittedly hid the fact that I have a child. However, personally I felt that it wasn't necessary to tell her (selfishly) since this wouldn't be something to develop into anything. I guess I sold myself short and assumed wrong. (The fact that this is something more than a one night stand). Since I made this (wrong) decision, I want to correct it by sharing that I have a child. I just don't want to lose her (selfishly) at the same time.
As I said before, yes, I admittedly hid the fact that I have a child. However, personally I felt that it wasn't necessary to tell her (selfishly) since this wouldn't be something to develop into anything. I guess I sold myself short and assumed wrong. (The fact that this is something more than a one night stand). Since I made this (wrong) decision, I want to correct it by sharing that I have a child. I just don't want to lose her (selfishly) at the same time.
This right here is exactly what you need to communicate to her.
How well it goes over depends on how invested she is in you.
You don't have to tell her you thought she was a ONS...but let her know you thought the distance between you would have made it difficult and you weren't sure how things would progress (which is truthful without being hurtful).
As I said before, yes, I admittedly hid the fact that I have a child. However, personally I felt that it wasn't necessary to tell her (selfishly) since this wouldn't be something to develop into anything. I guess I sold myself short and assumed wrong. (The fact that this is something more than a one night stand). Since I made this (wrong) decision, I want to correct it by sharing that I have a child. I just don't want to lose her (selfishly) at the same time.
If I still missed your point, my apologies.
Ignore the person above.
It was NOT necessary to tell her before since it has only been physical up until and pretty much including this point. You have never been sure and still not, if you will see her again.
How do you know you're the only person she's bumping uglies with?? She could be banging people in all 50 states..
Trust me, as a flight attendant, unless you actually have days off, you don't have time. Unless she already knows someone in the place she's overnighting. Very doubtful that is the case.
Unfortunately, I'm not so sure how she would take the news that I have a child. I don't want to lose her. Don't want to lose the sex either, but I'm sure if I were to break it to her that its guaranteed I won't have any more sex with her. (Geez, I sound like a typical shallow guy don't I?)
No, you don't. You sound worse.
You are actually debating the worth of telling her about the existence of YOUR CHILD because you want to get your rocks off.
If that's not the most pathetic thing I've ever read on this entire board, I don't know what is.
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