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A "legal marriage" that has been "brought forward" for "some reasons" (let us guess--his reasons, right? He wanted to get you tied to him legally ASAP = control freak) "isn't important"?? It doesn't count as a marriage?? WHAT???!!!! YOU"RE MARRIED, OP, whether you think it's "important" or not, you're tied to him legally. You can't get untied without MONEY and A LAWYER.
Did you think because it wasn't a church wedding that somehow it was invalid? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
The thread I linked to was created by him, not me. Yes I did't mention the legal marriage because like I said earlier, it was brough forward for some reasons, and I don't consider it that important because of this.
The more likely explanation is that you're making it all up whole cloth. Not mentioning you're married is a big piece of information to omit, don't you think?
The more likely explanation is that you're making it all up whole cloth. Not mentioning you're married is a big piece of information to omit, don't you think?
Each to his own. Thanks for your contribution though. I could have chosen not to bring that up, as it is a separate issue, and would derail the thread. I have given my accounts of things as they appear to me. I have ommitted the legal wedding yes, but I had a good reason for doing so, as I did not want that to be the focus. In some cultures couples have up to 3 weddings - legal, church and cultural. I wouldn't be here bawling my eyes out and wondering where I have gone wrong in my life at 10 to 1am in the morning if I was making this up - especially as I've got to go to work in the morning. But thank you all for your contributions. I think counselling is the way forward from here.
Last edited by Mayomi; 10-29-2012 at 06:51 PM..
Reason: Omitted
You have to be giving off some signs or a vibe that makes you look suspicious. Guys don't just make these things up usually.
"Why doesn't he trust me?" "I only have guys I work with call me after hours at home". "I go out with the girls every Friday night and he can't go to "the club" with us".
Trust me, you are doing something. If you aren't, he is a nutball.
I have a buddy who his wife always thought I was taking him out to get some strange all the time. We're in ripped up clothes covered in grease working on a car. We're out on the lake fishing and even got sunburned and have a whole livewell full of what we caught. She was nuts and it got on both our nerves.
Its hardly the same thing as getting all dolled up to go out to the bars with "the girls".....
mmmmm mmmmm why don't you trust me?" "Joe just takes me out to lunch because he is a "friend".....yada yada."
You know how this goes..... Why doesn't your man trust you?
Cuz you look awful damn suspicious..........THAT'S WHY!
No, it is not. It fundamentally changes the dynamic of your situation.
Ok, my bad. My situation is probably 100 times worse than when I first posted then, I guess?
@Riverboat Gambler.
I work in a 98% female department and I only have 2 males who I can call friends in the sense of regularly meeting up (once a year), talking on the phone (once a year - to arrange meeting up). When we do, we meet up in a large group of guys and girls who all went to school together, and everyone is welcome to bring their partners. I think that's the most suspicous scenario I can think of.
Legally, yes but not in church. We had our legal wedding brough forward for several reasons, but I made it clear that the church wedding meant more to me.
Doesn't matter what "means" more to you... you already f'd up, sister. YOU. ARE. MARRIED.
Ok, my bad. My situation is probably 100 times worse than when I first posted then, I guess?
@Riverboat Gambler.
I work in a 98% female department and I only have 2 males who I can call friends in the sense of regularly meeting up (once a year), talking on the phone (once a year - to arrange meeting up). When we do, we meet up in a large group of guys and girls who all went to school together, and everyone is welcome to bring their partners. I think that's the most suspicous scenario I can think of.
I was trying to think of reasons/ways for men not to trust their GFs and wives. Most of what I said turned out later to be true.
Always remember this....trust is earned, it's never expected.
From what I have seen, the people who demand trust.....and trust under all situations and circumstances can't be trusted. It's like the gal who comes home late drunk after work and "Dave" the guy she works with in her department drops her off with her clothes half on/undun on her doorstep.
She always seems to get "p*ssed" when her hubby or BF says anything.
Stop looking suspicious....and maybe the poor guy WILL trust you.
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