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I'm open to a wide range of types but would not be interested in a female version of myself. I don't see this as me wanting something I'm not willing to do myself. It's just a matter of preference. Some women like big guys. I'm looking for a focused method of finding them. I think it makes more sense to drop bait in a stocked pond. No pun intended.
I'm open to a wide range of types but would not be interested in a female version of myself. I don't see this as me wanting something I'm not willing to do myself. It's just a matter of preference.
Okay, I think we've identified your problem. You don't want to be judged negatively because of your body type, but you feel entitled to negatively judge women because of theirs. Not fair, not gonna work.
Let me repeat a point I've made elsewhere. I am very suspicious of the word "preference" used in contexts like these. Automatically excluding untold numbers of women from your dating pool just because of their body type is not "just a matter of preference." It is a matter of prejudice. "Preference" sounds so benign and blameless, as if your unwillingness to date heavier women is no more significant than preferring rice instead of potatoes. Not the AT ALL.
I'm far past caring what ugly people think of me, especially anonymous ugly people on the internet. I am who I am, and if everything came together for me to be thinner, that would be great. But that's not reality. I've accepted it and would just like to find women who like guys like me. I know they're out there.
Yes there are women who like the big teddy bear type. I'm one of them
We are usually smaller, petite women. You know that saying, opposites attract.
As far as where to meet them, can't help you there. I found my teddy bear on an online dating site.
Just keep looking.
Okay, I think we've identified your problem. You don't want to be judged negatively because of your body type, but you feel entitled to negatively judge women because of theirs. Not fair, not gonna work.
Let me repeat a point I've made elsewhere. I am very suspicious of the word "preference" used in contexts like these. Automatically excluding untold numbers of women from your dating pool just because of their body type is not "just a matter of preference." It is a matter of prejudice. "Preference" sounds so benign and blameless, as if your unwillingness to date heavier women is no more significant than preferring rice instead of potatoes. Not the AT ALL.
I thought saying it's a matter of preference would cover all your comments, but I guess not. It seems like you're saying that all I should expect to date are fat women, because I'm fat. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? Whatever label you feel good about putting on it is fine with me. Most every person on the planet exhibits prejudice, or preference. We like what we like, and don't like what we don't like. It has nothing to do with what the other potential mate might like; it's completely personal. Everyone excludes some people from their dating pool automatically based on their preferences. To think otherwise is silly. If I was thin I wouldn't want a fat woman either. What does that say?
No offense to fat women intended. I know many of you are great. You're just not for me.
I thought saying it's a matter of preference would cover all your comments, but I guess not. It seems like you're saying that all I should expect to date are fat women, because I'm fat. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? Whatever label you feel good about putting on it is fine with me. Most every person on the planet exhibits prejudice, or preference. We like what we like, and don't like what we don't like. It has nothing to do with what the other potential mate might like; it's completely personal. Everyone excludes some people from their dating pool automatically based on their preferences. To think otherwise is silly. If I was thin I wouldn't want a fat woman either. What does that say?
No offense to fat women intended. I know many of you are great. You're just not for me.
While I have been with plenty of men who thought my extra pounds were awesome, we live in a society where fat is considered a flaw by most people. You, in the eyes of most people, are flawed. Whatever. Most of us are in one way or another. However, you're not willing to accept that same flaw in your partner. That's not an attractive trait. You're not willing to extend the same slack to another person that you want provided to you. I'm assuming you've got some other beyond-stellar personal traits/qualities in your "pluses" category? If so, I'm betting empathy ain't one of them.
It seems like you're saying that all I should expect to date are fat women, because I'm fat.
I wasn't saying that at all. You absolutely have the right to exclude heavier women from your dating pool if you choose.
I am just saying, don't hide behind a misleading word like "preference" when what you really have is a prejudice. And you are hiding behind it. You deny your unwillingness to date fat women is a matter of wanting what you're not willing to do yourself. You say it's "just a preference." That's just rubbish. You clearly want what you're not willing to do yourself.
While I have been with plenty of men who thought my extra pounds were awesome, we live in a society where fat is considered a flaw by most people. You, in the eyes of most people, are flawed. Whatever. Most of us are in one way or another. However, you're not willing to accept that same flaw in your partner. That's not an attractive trait. You're not willing to extend the same slack to another person that you want provided to you. I'm assuming you've got some other beyond-stellar personal traits/qualities in your "pluses" category? If so, I'm betting empathy ain't one of them.
I'm sure there are other traits (not flaws) you're not willing to accept in a potential partner. Whether you have those same traits is irrelevant. It's what you do and don't want in someone else. I have traits that others may consider pluses or cons, as does everyone. That doesn't mean I'm only allowed to find someone with those same traits, does it?
I wasn't saying that at all. You absolutely have the right to exclude heavier women from your dating pool if you choose.
I am just saying, don't hide behind a misleading word like "preference" when what you really have is a prejudice. And you are hiding behind it. You deny your unwillingness to date fat women is a matter of wanting what you're not willing to do yourself. You say it's "just a preference." That's just rubbish. You clearly want what you're not willing to do yourself.
What would it be called if I was thin and didn't want a fat woman (which I already said)? Is that suddenly just a preference, or would I still be called prejudiced?
Believe what you want, Call it what you want. Whatever makes you happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
I winced when I read this. I winced because I know most of the people who respond are not going to try to help you. Instead, they are going try to shame you for your body type. They are going to say things like, "try going to the gym, moron" and "maybe the problem is you're a fat ass." It won't occur to them that you've probably tried to lose weight for years. They'll call you a lazy slob despite the fact that, for all they know, you may be hardest working guy on your job. I wish I had a solution for you, but I don't. But I do have a warning: NEVER say anything like "with a gut" on this website if you want empathy. You won't get it. Not from this crowd.
With a couple exceptions you have been proven to be correct. Since you are one of the people who chose to attack me based on whatever you think my reality is, I guess your initial post was a self fulfilling prophecy.
I think that you should focus on living like a celibate monk. Unless you are very wealthy, thin women are not into fat guys. And you said you are not attracted to fat women.
So....order a pizza, and enjoy yourself. Alone.
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