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I don't know for sure but I think most intimate relationships fail these days because people (and especially attractive young women) are more materialistic these days. Today all young women care about is how physically handsome a man is, how much money he makes, if he is a celebrity, is he is popular, is he is funny, if he drives a nice car and other needs that she wants to be met.
Last edited by Mr. Freak; 12-09-2012 at 10:47 AM..
Marriage isn't for everyone - it's what society has painted as the norm. It's freak'n expensive if it doesn't work out (to get rid of them) and people get so bitter, resentful, and spiteful. One minute someone loves you, and the next they wish you'd get pushed off the subway tracks and die ... lol !! Crazy !
Some people like being married, but they like going out, and playing single a lot more ...
Pitiful. Others divorce for reasons like snoring, not cooking well, having to move somewhere else, etc.
Life is awful complex today and those who marry I believe they all should be mandated to take a six-month course on marriage and learn all the possible situations they will likely face. But marriage is no longer taken seriously today. In fact I don't see the use of it anymore.
Again - since you don't desire a relationship or marriage - of course you don't see why others would want them. I do take my marriage seriously. So do most of the people that surround me. Sometimes things just don't work out. I'm friends with a lot of my neighbors - and there is this one couple that I just adore. They have been together for over 20 years. They are in their 70's, I'm assuming. They were both married before. I can't imagine them with anyone else because they are so happy together and perfect with each other. Obviously, they take their marriage seriously. Maybe they both didn't get it right the first time - but they have gotten it right the second time. And they are happy. And that's all that really matters.
A high rate of relationship failure (or divorce) is the price we pay for living in a free society.
Look at almost any society where divorce rates are low. You'll see they have many features in common. Marriages are usually arranged. Women usually have limited legal rights. Divorced people, as well as children born out of wedlock, are subject to stigma. The marriage relationship itself is conceived as a purely functional one. Each partner has certain duties, and they are expected to perform them. End of story. Whether people love each other or want to be together is besides the point.
So long as we desire the right to choose our own mates and have them treat us well, we'll have to accept a high rate of relationship failure. It just comes with the territory.
Can't rep you again, so I'll say it here: This is an insightful answer, and spot on.
The thread title is talking about "relationships" but the first post is specifically about marriage. Not all relationships are marriages, and most relationships aren't destined to last forever and ever. For most people, the entire point of having a romantic relationship is to try someone on to see if they fit. Sometimes that takes three dates, and sometimes that takes three years. A relationship that's run its course isn't necessarily a failure.
With marriages, as the married folks above have said, why care what other people are doing. Keep your marriage in order, and it doesn't matter what the divorce rate is. Sure, people shouldn't take marriage lightly, but at the same time people shouldn't be forced to live a life of incompatibility because they made a poor choice.
Oh good lord, I can't even image having to be forced into an arranged marriage. I'd rather jump out a window.
I have a friend who is Indian. After high school, I remember her parents provided her with a bunch of tapes of men. lol! She rebelled. She ended up moving away from her crazy family, going to law school, and now and her Israeli husband, also a lawyer are married almost 16 years now. And, still going strong !
Marriage is not easy- it has its highs and lows, but you do what works, and what is important to both of you ... there is no manual, or right and wrong. It's a matter of focusing on the same goals/priorities, and building a life together as one. Respect. Love. 1 path.
If you go to any bookstore, you'll find a 100,000 books on marriage, and relationships - I'd bet half the authors are on 2nd & 3rd marriages. Everyone is an expert ... zzzzzzzzz
Listen to the way people talk to each other and watch how they treat each other. There's no respect.
Arguements have no rules, anything goes. When there is a problem, everybody and their mother knows about it because all the sorted details are plastered all over facebook, my space, or texted to everyone, keeping fires fueled. Drama, Drama, Drama.
People who respect each other can achieve a long term relationship. Anything else is going to be for a limited time only.
Don't know and don't care. I am too old and too focused on what will work for me, than worry about why other people's relationships haven't worked for them.
To the 50% divorce rate you have to add the marriages that ended decades ago but people stay officially married. If you sum it up over 80% of marrriages fail in the long run.
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