I am dating someone, but I am lost and confused!!! (how to, women)
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Do you remember this thread? well, no problem if you dont feel like reading it, the thing is:
I am starting dating someone (let's call him B again), he is a friend from 4 years ago... we are very similar and have things in common, some days ago he asked me if he has opportunities to be more than a friend with me, sometime without name by the moment, slow and to "try" how it goes.
As I like him I said yes, slow and the future will tell us if it is a right decision or not, but I am very scared for some reasons:
- I loved other guys more than I love him now. So I feel I can love him more than I do.
- When we are separated, or I don't hear from him in 2 days I miss him a looot, I check the social network all the time and I think negative things (he has changed his mind or whatever).
- When we are together is the opposite, I can see he loves/likes me more than I do, he caress my check and he gaves me some chocolates for example. Although I feel very good with him.
- When I am back home from a date I feel like "it is enough" I mean... I had fun but I don't miss him until the next day for example (that is when I feel lovesick as I said in point 2)
Is all this normal? it is my "first" relationship, at least in adult ages (25 ad 27) so I feel like a lost teenager to be honest.
I should feel lucky because he is very good person and a good guy with me but I am afraid to hurt him, or the opposite, if he hurts me as it happened before with other guys.
What do you think about my questions, feelings and experiences?? is all this normal? I am completely lost.
Major edit:
OP, I had you confused with someone else (I think...) I'm not sure what's going on here, except maybe some neediness, or...not. Give it a little time, then see how you feel. If things start clicking with this guy, you should feel happy. Don't rush into anything, though. This guy does kind of seem more into you than you are into him. Don't let him push you into doing anything you don't feel ready to do. Wait until you feel like you reciprocate his feelings. If it continues to feel lopsided, then you're just not that into him, in spite of feeling hooked on the attention.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-06-2013 at 06:19 PM..
I think you're worried about getting hurt and that is holding you back from experiencing this relationship fully. Trust your instincts. If you think he's a good guy, then he probably is and you should enjoy your time together.
I think women are turned off to a degree by men that are into them more. Sad part is, his probably a really nice guy and worth the effort. Most guys aren't naturally soft, they just try as hard as they can to accommodate to the women's desires and in doing so may appear soft. If I were you I would tell him how you want or expect to be treated otherwise his just guessing, and he'll never know for sure how to please you, or would you rather he not like you as much?
I think women are turned off to a degree by men that are into them more. Sad part is, his probably a really nice guy and worth the effort. Most guys aren't naturally soft, they just try as hard as they can to accommodate to the women's desires and in doing so may appear soft. If I were you I would tell him how you want or expect to be treated otherwise his just guessing, and he'll never know for sure how to please you, or would you rather he not like you as much?
Seriously how is this an issue?
That's right. Guys, in general, are psychologically tough but in the process of wooing a woman many try really hard to not come across that way. Those guys heard somewhere that women like it when men act tender but what that's only half of the story. The other half is that women also like those same tender guys to be confident, assertive and even a total hard ass when the circumstances demand it.
So, back to the OP: just relax and enjoy the dates. Give the fellow a chance to show his true personality.
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