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I'm a 34 year old single professional black woman. I live in the dc metro area, therefore, one would think that dating would be easy, but due to work, I rarely have time during the week to go out. Since I abhor bars and clubs, I recently took the plunge and joined eharmony.
I would like to get married soon, because I want to have a baby before turning 38, with a loving hubby. I'm just a little ambivalent about my match selections. 90% of the men that eharmony selected for me are white. Race is not a concern, but commitment is, because as I've stated, I am looking to find Mr. Right for marriage.
Why do I feel so stressed? I thought this was supposed to be fun!
I'm a 34 year old single professional black woman. I live in the dc metro area, therefore, one would think that dating would be easy, but due to work, I rarely have time during the week to go out. Since I abhor bars and clubs, I recently took the plunge and joined eharmony.
I would like to get married soon, because I'd like to have a baby before turning 38. I'm just a little ambivalent about my match selections. 90% of the men that eharmony selected for me are white. Race is not a concern, but commitment is, because as I've stated I am looking to find Mr. Right for marriage.
Why do I feel so stressed? I thought this was supposed to be fun!
I really doubt it would be fun for you if you are doing it with the end goal of having a baby. That's an awful lot of pressure for both you and the guys.
This is not true. I am not looking for a sperm donor, I'm looking for a quality husband!
Good Luck, just know, sometimes Mr. Right isn't quite there yet because he doesn't
have you yet. Many men in their 30's behave one way because they are single.
Don't rule them out.. it's up to you to sink your claws in him and mold him into
what you both need.
Good Luck, just know, sometimes Mr. Right isn't quite there yet because he doesn't
have you yet. Many men in their 30's behave one way because they are single.
Don't rule them out.. it's up to you to sink your claws in him and mold him into
what you both need.
Actually, a woman cannot mold a man. I think it's best for women to just find the type of guy who meets whatever criteria she has set. The only thing is, it can get stressful!
This is not true. I am not looking for a sperm donor, I'm looking for a quality husband!
You really need to relax. Match.com isn't Amazon! You can't just order yourself a quality husband. These things take time and for some people it never happens.
The higher your standards are, the more the pool of potential mates shrinks.
I'm a 34 year old single professional black woman. I live in the dc metro area, therefore, one would think that dating would be easy, but due to work, I rarely have time during the week to go out. Since I abhor bars and clubs, I recently took the plunge and joined eharmony.
I would like to get married soon, because I want to have a baby before turning 38, with a loving hubby. I'm just a little ambivalent about my match selections. 90% of the men that eharmony selected for me are white. Race is not a concern, but commitment is, because as I've stated, I am looking to find Mr. Right for marriage.
Why do I feel so stressed? I thought this was supposed to be fun!
You need to log out, close your web, shut down your computer, boot up, upload this site, and read your post.
You want honesty and so here we are. I am a man and I am reading your post. It doesn't matter that you think that your potential eharmony match will never come across this post.
You will probably be the last person that many men of character will be looking to date.
You don't have time to go out because of work so how do we get to know each other? Oh no, don't take it back now, you already said you don't go out during the week. You want to be married by 34 and have a child and have Mr right. In my mind you are all about work, all about satisfying your internal clock, and I don't see how I will benefit from this relationship- what will you do for me? Can you cook? Do you have time to even make me a turkey samich? I will not be interrogated during our phone calls or our first date to ensure that I meet your check list.
I also have the keys to this car and I will do the driving as well. So therefore, I am telling you to forget 38, make time for me, we will discuss children based on our future relationship and whether or not I want YOU to be the mother of my child. What is your response to that? Ditch me and move on to the next cause I don't add up to your standards? You don't even know me. You don't even know what I am bringing to the table that when I finally decide to have a child and you may be 40, you and the child may be financially set for life with a loving husband that protects and does right by his family.
The above is what you will encounter from someone who is not in it to get into your pants and also has a backbone- not a "yes dear type"
My advice, relax. You are bleeding "stressed out" and it will show throughout your quest to find that "perfect hubby". A man of character will sense this and walk away like a thief in the night.
You need to get this idea that online dating will take away from the fact that you don't have time to date. You still have to show face and do time. Online dating is just another tool to do what you would as if you were going out and meeting people. You are a professional so delagate your dutes to the under-staff, find time, and go out. Stop with the excuses.
Along the lines of being a professional, be a woman. This is not work and men will not conform to internal taskings. Don't treat men like your appointment list and have deadlines, dates, etc.
You may wish to consider why is it that you are 34 and so consumed by your job and it is preventing you from going out to meet people. As a man that looks at the big picture by way of history, I can see that you will be difficulat to deal with. You have a strong character and really need a man that is equally strong. But that means that he will not conform to your internal check list.
Last edited by halfamazing; 01-09-2013 at 07:57 AM..
You really need to relax. Match.com isn't Amazon! You can't just order yourself a quality husband. These things take time and for some people it never happens.
The higher your standards are, the more the pool of potential mates shrinks.
I briefly joined match.com, but I didn't like it. I prefer eharmony because they provide the matches, based on your answers to key compatibility questions. I like the fact that it requires a lot of thought, but I'm still stressed.
You need to log out, close your web, shut down your computer, boot up, upload this site, and read your post.
You want honesty and so here we are. I am a man and I am reading your post. It doesn't matter that you think that your potential eharmony match will never come across this post.
You will probably be the last person that many men of character will be looking to date.
You don't have time to go out because of work so how do we get to know each other? Oh no, don't take it back now, you already said you don't go out during the week. You want to be married by 34 and have a child and have Mr right. In my mind you are all about work, all about satisfying your internal clock, and I don't see how I will benefit from this relationship- what will you do for me? Can you cook? Do you have time to even make me a turkey samich? I will not be interrogated during our phone calls or our first date to ensure that I meet your check list.
I also have the keys to this car and I will do the driving as well. So therefore, I am telling you to forget 38, make time for me, we will discuss children based on our future relationship and whether or not I want YOU to be the mother of my child.
The above is what you will encounter from someone who is not in it to get into your pants and also has a backbone- not a "yes dear type"
My advice, relax. You are bleeding stress out and it will show throughout your quest to find that "perfect hubby".
You need to get this idea that online dating will take away from the fact that you don't have time to date. You still have to show face and do time. Online dating is just another tool to do what you would as if you were going out and meeting people. You are a professional so delagate, find time, and go out. Stop with the excuses.
Your post is very much on point. Do I really come across that shallow? My apologies, that wasn't my intention.
I just want to make it clear that I don't have time to just meet random guys who are uninterested in marriage. I feel like it would be a waste to do this, because I know what I'm looking for. Furthermore, I love to cook. I even started my own cooking vlog on YouTube to help busy professionals make quick delish meals.
Again, my apologies, if my initial comments seemed one sided and shallow. I just think it's best to date men who I know are looking to settle down.
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