Whatever happened to men appreciating good virtuous women? (single, younger, family)

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by 14Bricks

I don't see how this turned into a lets bash christians thread. I guess you can't "personally attack" women here, but you can personally attack Christians.

I don't see any Christianly attitude in the OP. All I see a lot of self-righteousness and ego masquerading as Christianity, and I have no respect for that.

Originally Posted by LakeShoreSoxGo

What happened to good virtuous women, period? Most of the women I see, behave like SNAKES.

You must attract bottom-feeders. You should work on yourself, and then that won't happen.

[Baldrick]

Originally Posted by Mary20852

I have no interest in desecrating my temple.

*thinks * I must have read that wrong.... she didn't just say "desecrating my temple" did she? surely not.. nah, she couldn't have.... i'd best read that part again. *re-reads post*

"Santa on a unicycle she did!"

[kat949]

I didn't take what OP said personally or literally. I think she asked a very valid question pertaining to her situation.

There are other cultures around the world that value similar lifestyle choices as OP.

Does that make them any far inferior or superior? The polarity! Geez!

To each his/her own.

[D217]

Originally Posted by Mary20852

Why is it so hard to find a nice/intelligent guy (of any race) who will continue to date me long-term, after I inform him that I do not believe in pre-marital sex? I'm attractive, well educated and in great shape. Also, I enjoy cooking. It's too bad that far too many men are pre-occupied with sex.

Whatever happened to men dating, appreciating and adoring good virtuous women?

Back on track here....


I would imagine most men are fearful of getting duped into marrying a sexually inexperienced woman.

Not only does this create an enormous uncertainty, but it also adds about 2 tons of pressure to the formation of the relationship itself.



Some guys are into that; most aren't.

[Urban Sasquatch]

Originally Posted by Mary20852

Why is it so hard to find a nice/intelligent guy (of any race) who will continue to date me long-term, after I inform him that I do not believe in pre-marital sex? I'm attractive, well educated and in great shape. Also, I enjoy cooking. It's too bad that far too many men are pre-occupied with sex.

Whatever happened to men dating, appreciating and adoring good virtuous women?

I keep going around and around with this; it's like I want to say something helpful and insightful which allows leeway for her views WHILE explaining the other side of the coin -- and yet I don't know where to start.

I'm put off by the word "adore" because when she says it something comes across as worshipful and I can't stomach that.

I'm put off by the self-assignation of the term virtuous based on celibacy. There is a part of me which truly CAN appreciate this... and yet something there doesn't quite click. You see, a woman who practices celibacy or abstinence prior to dating and/or marriage seems somehow stuck in a rut, ill at ease with herself; while a woman who upon dating and/or marriage most dedicatedly practices fidelity is worth her weight in multi-dimensional space diamonds from Elfland.

And the presumption that if some women will have pre-marital sex it automatically means they lack virtue, and the implication is that they "get around plenty" is exceeding judgmental.

Perhaps you should consider the women themselves; I'm far less concerned by a woman who has sex than I am about a woman who lofts her nose and devalues sex. By the same token a woman who makes far too much of her sex is as much to be avoided as a woman who makes nothing of her sex.

Either it's far too much of a big deal, or it's no big deal at all -- one being an indicator of a person who is likely to apply nonsensical standards to any joint life or venture we might have to the extent that there is no pleasing her (as well as the unpleasant prospect of her not wishing to please me, either), the other being someone I would not be surprised to find hopped the back fence just as soon as my tail lights disappeared around the corner.

There is an old saying about what a man wants sexually in his partner, which states that he wishes a lady in public and a w h o r e in the bedroom. I dare say there is truth to this, NOT because in the bedroom a man wants a woman who magically knows how to turn tricks but rather, it says he wants someone who is comfortable enough and familiar enough with her own body to ENJOY HIS fully, to let herself go completely with him, in a display reserved entirely for HIS presence.

I know this is the type of woman I'd want, precisely because that ability to fully let go, to be completely open, completely honest while practicing both complete passion and compassion -- is this NOT the very sort of thing any woman would want from her man?

So if you, OP, won't do anything AND consider yourself virtuous for being this way... I dare say it's not just that the men you date are "preoccupied with sex" as you put it, but also that they quite rightfully worry that you, should such a time come, WILL remain prudish behind the matrimonial doors, prim and proper, and rather than releasing your temple with abandon to your husband/priest, and rather than worshipping at his temple just as fervently in your role as wife/priestess, men who hear your position realize you're far more likely to sniff disdainfully and say "Oh, I'm sorry -- I don't do that, and I won't put icky things in or near my mouth... and you shouldn't either."

Men who try to date you, especially in your 30's and having remained celibate all this time, KNOW that no matter how many chairs they pull for you, or doors they open, no matter how often they may happily take your arm as you stroll the markets, no matter how many smiles, playful quips, no matter how much easygoing banter, no matter how devoted and fidelious he may be --

...he knows that he will NEVER take you home and be welcomed by breathy moans as he attempts to push you against the wall. He knows he will NEVER be able to take you into the bedroom and spank you nasty, make you wonder how your vocal cords managed those noises, make you soak the sheets and forget your own name. And because he knows he'll never be allowed to go there with you, take you to those places, he knows he'll never enjoy them himself, knows the carnal side of marriage will always be limited by YOUR say-so.

I'm not judging you; you are who you are and you may be whomever you want to be -- it's absolutely NO skin off my nose. But you asked about where the men are who appreciate good and virtuous women, and I'm telling you they're all around -- but they do NOT want to end up married to someone who may well make their sex lives miserable once they've tied the knot; so they walk NOW because it's one hell of a lot easier to walk now than it is once that knot is tied.

As I said -- I wouldn't want a woman for whom sex and the respect toward her body inherent in the act was no big deal one bit more than I'd want a woman like you; but you may as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

Best of luck to you.

[ATG5]

I'm all for women who want to keep the cookie jar closed til marriage, and everything so good on the OP.

I've read her posts in this thread and I honestly do not think the OP is intentionally trying to come off as better than anyone who engages in sex. Some of her word choices are more so antiquated than anything. To her, terms like, 'temple' and 'virtuous' are perfectly normal for her vocabulary, yet are foreign to most these days, so I can understand why posters have been responding the way that they have.

However, it would worry me that someone doesn't even like the thought of saliva. If you don't like that form of bodily fluid, I can't imagine you being interested in swallowing kids. Or doing much else. That scares plenty of men off.

I've never been one to sleep around for various reasons, including religious ones, but I can't imagine marring a woman without some knowledge of her sexual talents, or lack thereof. That's just too much. Seriously, OP, what if your future husband is a selfish lover, who cares nothing about your pleasure, with a fun-sized penis who can't even last as long as it takes to read this sentence ? You cannot tell me you wouldn't be miserable having to spend the rest of your life with him, because you know you can't divorce him, right ?

OP, there are certain commandments and statues that, no matter how much this world evolves, will remain the same. No killing, stealing, worshipping other gods, etc, etc. On the other hand, there are practices that were perfectly normal then, but for the most part aren't practiced these days, which includes sex. I'm sure there are some practices in the Bible you don't follow for whatever reason, right ? I don't encourage people to engage in sex, I mean, abstain if you want to. But I also think no one should feel guilty for doing something that's perfectly natural, so long as it's with consenting participants and everyone understands the potential consequences you may face. If it wasn't natural, then it wouldn't fly whether one was married or not.

I also know why you have a difficult time understanding how women can engage in pre-marital sex.

[EvocatusCenturion]

Originally Posted by Mary20852

Why is it so hard to find a nice/intelligent guy (of any race) who will continue to date me long-term, after I inform him that I do not believe in pre-marital sex? I'm attractive, well educated and in great shape. Also, I enjoy cooking. It's too bad that far too many men are pre-occupied with sex.

Whatever happened to men dating, appreciating and adoring good virtuous women?

Whatever happened to the women who act like this?

Most men can't appreciate whats not out there to begin with.

[Miss Crabcakes]

If its for religious reasons, why not join a religious dating site like Christian Singles. I am sure there are other male virgins out there wondering where you are. You just need to be very specific in where you meet them and it sound like you need to meet men who share your ideals.

[LisaMc46]

Originally Posted by Mary20852

Why is it so hard to find a nice/intelligent guy (of any race) who will continue to date me long-term, after I inform him that I do not believe in pre-marital sex? I'm attractive, well educated and in great shape. Also, I enjoy cooking. It's too bad that far too many men are pre-occupied with sex.

Whatever happened to men dating, appreciating and adoring good virtuous women?

Men will appreciate what they value. Men who value chaste women are usually religious. Try looking for someone at your church or house of worship. If you want to wait purely for the romantic aspect of waiting I'd look for an online dating community dedicated to people who want to wait until marriage for sex. I'm sure there's one out there.

[Peanuttree]

he... knows the carnal side of marriage will always be limited by YOUR say-so.

In all fairness, isn't it the religious types who believe it's a woman's duty to never deny her man?