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OP, you honestly seem a bit selfish and want it your way or no way at all. You have been dating two years then you must really really like each other. I would think you are both thinking long term.
Selfish? Are you kidding? She's being smart. If she doesn't believe in being the perpetual live-in gf, then she's doing the right thing. You don't move in, or marry, or have kids if one is ambivalent about it. No need for her to break it off either if she's not ready for marriage at this time. It may be up to him to make the decision if he won't accept her decision.
You have the right to do whatever you want. I just find it surprising that you are questioning whether to break up a two year relationship because he has been asking you to live with him for three months. Honestly, that seems like you are not very invested in the relationship.
She's made her position clear on living together. He's been asking her for 3 months so he doesn't really repsect her decision. I don't really think it speaks to her commitment as much as she does not want to listen to him ask her the same question over and over again for the next 3+ months.
If I were her I'd also question if he is going to act this way everytime they disagree about something. That type of behavior is pretty childish and immature. She has said no, she's not willing to play house. He either needs to accept it or move on but he's acting like a 3yr old demanding "but I want candy, but I want candy, but I want candy".
This has been already discussed by the 3rd date. We were talking about our future goals and I told him how I see myself finishing college, getting married in the future and having kids to which he said me too. I then added how I will not move in with a man unless I'm engaged and know when it's happening (obviously not a prolonged engagement either, but somewhere within a year or less).
Even after being clear about this topic with him, I'm surprise he tried to convinced me into living with him.
It sounds like you've did your part to let this guy know where you stand, but if you haven' reiterated already maybe you should and drop a hint. Why does the official marriage thing matter so much though? Is it security? Do you worrhy that this guy (or any guy) could just all the sudden leave you? I know some people are like that, but personally I see that as greedy and would hope any decent person wouldn't lead somebody on just to leave them for no good reason. That would be horrible.
She's made her position clear on living together. He's been asking her for 3 months so he doesn't really repsect her decision. I don't really think it speaks to her commitment as much as she does not want to listen to him ask her the same question over and over again for the next 3+ months.
If I were her I'd also question if he is going to act this way everytime they disagree about something. That type of behavior is pretty childish and immature. She has said no, she's not willing to play house. He either needs to accept it or move on but he's acting like a 3yr old demanding "but I want candy, but I want candy, but I want candy".
I don't remember reading what the frequency of his bringing this up..... once a month for 3 months? Once a week? Every time they see each other?
My DH may not want to do something, but I am allowed the opportunity to try and sell him on something he does not initially want. That certainly doesn't mean I don't respect him. I would find it disrespectful if he told me "I said no, and there will be no discussion. My word is final."
I would trial it for awhile. Live with him for a decent period of time. THEN you determine if its for you or not.
Not having never done it. This thread is almost as bad as the woman who said she didn't like sex and was a virgin.
I don't want to trial it, not even for a couple days.
If this is what some of you like doing it and works out for you then ok. This ain't for me.
My oldest female friend is already 37 and is now worried that she never not have kids anymore all because of doing what you stated. Same with my sister. She's in her 30's and is finding it hard to find a man that will commit to her and not just play house.
In terms of time, after our 30's we really don't have too much time to play house for years and then finally decided if it's for us or not. By the time we decide, it's already time wasted. Then start all over again and doing the same time, only to find out it's another time wasted.
It sounds like you've did your part to let this guy know where you stand, but if you haven' reiterated already maybe you should and drop a hint. Why does the official marriage thing matter so much though? Is it security? Do you worrhy that this guy (or any guy) could just all the sudden leave you? I know some people are like that, but personally I see that as greedy and would hope any decent person wouldn't lead somebody on just to leave them for no good reason. That would be horrible.
Why does moving in matters so much, when I'm clearly not interest in it?
This is what I don't get. Basically the man gets to decide where a relationship is going and not going and we're suppose to follow their agendas. Overall, he gets to choose to either commit or waste our time.
But yet if we get to decide what we want and seek for it's wrong (not do what they want)?
Why does moving in matters so much, when I'm clearly not interest in it?
This is what I don't get. Basically the man gets to decide where a relationship is going and not going and we're suppose to follow their agendas. Overall, he gets to choose to either commit or waste our time.
But yet if we get to decide what we want and seek for it's wrong (not do what they want)?
Its a two way street but by stopping "his decisions" and only considering yours doesn't make much sense either.
Its a two way street but by stopping "his decisions" and only considering yours doesn't make much sense either.
Isn't this what they do all the time as soon as we move in with them and suddenly have to still be the live-in gf (make-believe wife) after years passed by? This is what they wanted afterall (like a previous poster mention a perpetual live-in gf that gives all for nothing) but suddenly I bet they would get annoyed if we were asking where is this going and mention about the future since that's not their agenda.
Why does moving in matters so much, when I'm clearly not interest in it?
This is what I don't get. Basically the man gets to decide where a relationship is going and not going and we're suppose to follow their agendas. Overall, he gets to choose to either commit or waste our time.
But yet if we get to decide what we want and seek for it's wrong (not do what they want)?
You made it sound like you were okay or would even want to move in with him if he at least proposed or oif you got married. If you don't want what he wants (to live together), you guys need to communicate and maybe bite the bullet and move on. Either that or agree just to put off big decisions for a while and take it as it comes for a while longer.
I don't want to trial it, not even for a couple days.
If this is what some of you like doing it and works out for you then ok. This ain't for me.
My oldest female friend is already 37 and is now worried that she never not have kids anymore all because of doing what you stated. Same with my sister. She's in her 30's and is finding it hard to find a man that will commit to her and not just play house.
In terms of time, after our 30's we really don't have too much time to play house for years and then finally decided if it's for us or not. By the time we decide, it's already time wasted. Then start all over again and doing the same time, only to find out it's another time wasted.
It almost sounds like you merely see a man as a means to have children and a family. Is there any truth to that?
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