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Yeah I'd end it if my SO did that. My heart can't handle infidelity. I'd still love him like the dickens, and forgive him, but my heart can't handle that and wouldn't want to.
I haven't had the chance to read all of the responses as I've been away from this site for the past few hours. I'm going to read them right now and catch up.
Well now I know why we've been together for 27 years and divorce is so rampant around us. What a bunch of chicken-sh*ts that have no value for their relationship. Neither of us expected the other or ourselves to be perfect going in and no surprise, we're not!
I'd like to thank all of you who have taken time out of your busy lives to help my friend out with this. She's here with me now and has read all of the posts along with me. Some of them have made her cry and now she's blaming herself for what has happened. I just told her she's NOT to blame for his total lapse of judgement and lack of respect for her and their relationship. She's done NOTHING wrong here. She found out about his transgression through their mutual friend. Had it not been for this, she never would've found out what happened. They both attended the Halloween party but she was outside at the bonfire while he was in an upstairs hallway for the span of probably 20 minutes to half an hour according to her.
My friend wants to know, from the posters who have stated that she shouldn't "bat an eye" over what her boyfriend did, how is she suppose to feel? She wants to know how can she ever trust Scott again, even if he only just kissed this other woman? Where should the trust line be drawn? It's only okay for a significant other to kiss other women but not have sex with them? Not have any oral sex with them? No heavy petting allowed? Where does one draw the line? (These are the questions she's directing me to ask right now.)
I bought us a bottle of wine so she can relax a little bit tonight and vent all she needs to with regard to this. She's asking me to go out and buy another one, but, I'm NOT going to. Hopefully she won't be mad at me for refusing her request. My heart is broken for Meagan. I don't know what else to do to calm her soul or ease her mind. I feel so helpless right now. God help her.
First off I highly doubt my husband would get sloshed and kiss another woman. We have a solid relationship of almost 8 years and he's never done anything like this so it's unlikely he's going to start. Obviously it's merely conjecture on my part how I would react to his indiscretion but from a purely intellectual perspective I simply can't imagine dumping him over a kiss. I would be disappointed, yes, but would I break up with him? Would I throw away years of a good relationship, years of joining our lives together with a house and things, plans for the future, memories? I can't see me doing that.
My friend wants to know, from the posters who have stated that she shouldn't "bat an eye" over what her boyfriend did, how is she suppose to feel? She wants to know how can she ever trust Scott again, even if he only just kissed this other woman? Where should the trust line be drawn? It's only okay for a significant other to kiss other women but not have sex with them? Not have any oral sex with them? No heavy petting allowed? Where does one draw the line? (These are the questions she's directing me to ask right now.)
Only she can decide where the line should be drawn in her relationship. Just because someone else would be able to forgive and move on, doesn't mean that's going to work for her. Only she can decide what she will tolerate and whether the relationship is worth saving.
Who kissed who? This happened to me once. A friend of mine kissed me. It was unacceptable, and he knew I was with my SO. I did not kiss him back and I called my SO right after it happened.
My friend walked me to my car like he had done plenty of times before.....
It really upset me. It was basically the end of our friendship. That is the decision I had to make.
The thing is - all we can do is say what we would do. And we all have different relationships. Some of us have been together for a long time, some of us don't have an SO, some of us have a new relationship, etc. Your answers are going to vary vastly on that alone. Every relationship is different and unless you are in it - you don't know what the best thing to do would be. We also don't know if this is a pattern, what he said when he was confronted about it, if she sees this guy as being someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, etc. But at the end of the day, if she can't move past it then the relationship isn't going to work.
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God help her.
