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If things are going to happen to your liking, the time will come that it will happen.
Don't base your existence on what you want now in dating.
Let life go on and it'll just happen if it's meant to be.
Forcing it is not doing you any good in your case as you've witnessed.
Drop the "load of bricks" off your back and relax, why are you carrying them in the first place? - this is what you're doing to yourself.
Life is a --ch.
Let me clue you in on something: I'm not looking but I've been approached by more women with a smile than when being the hunter. Carry yourself well with a smile with confidence on who you are as a human and the vibes given off by that will be like a high-powered radio transmitter in which many womens antennas will pick up on.
I've done everything exactly right when it comes to making friends and everything exactly wrong when it comes to dating. For a little background on me - I'm a guy who has always had plenty of friends and been good at talking to people but because of self esteem issues early on in my days, I struggled very badly to get women. I've overcome the self esteem issues but I'm still in the same situation as I've always been in that I have no dating prospects whatsoever
Making friends: I've talked to lots and lots and lots and lots of people over the years. Usually I'm very confident, easy going, don't care about the outcome, not desperate at all, feel like I can make anybody like me. I am the one who is selective - I usually screen out people and only hang out those who I feel are the highest quality individuals. The result is that I've had dozens and dozens of friends over the years. Because of the amount of friends I've had over the years, making new friends is incredibly easy - I can go out anywhere and meet new guys that I can hang out without really having to do anything. I don't think making friends is difficult at all and I feel like I can make almost anybody like me. Because of my positive attitude, I've been able to make friends in situations where I interacted with people over and over and over again and then we just naturally became friends
Dating: I've talked to a small number of potential romantic partners over the years, much much smaller than when it comes to making friends. I hate approaching and I hate the whole process of talking to a girl to try to see if she may be interested in going out on a date with me. Generally my confidence has not been great (although it's been better recently), I've been somewhat awkward and very awkward at times (that's more in the past but still), not nearly as smooth or charismatic as it comes to making friends. I care about the outcome too much. I'm so incredibly lonely and desperately want somebody that, even though it's pretty well supressed on the surface, I know it still pops up every now and then. Because of the nonexistent amount of success I've had over the years, my only option for dating is the cold approach...something that I find to be immensely difficult bordering on impossible. I can't meet women in the natural and easy progression that I make friends. I've also made dating to be this impossibly difficult obstacle in front of me and I've often times felt like I am destined to be alone my whole life. Because of my negative attitude, I've never had any situations where I interacted with a woman over and over and over again before we naturally started dating...I've had to rely on talking to them once and asking them out, which has resulted in terrible results
I know the knee jerk reaction to this thread is "you know what you have to do, so just go out there and fix it !11!!11". It's not nearly that easy - I have an extremely intense fear of approaching and I hate the whole process of talking to women in regards to dating (I don't mind talking to my female friends or my friend's girlfriends but if it's somebody I find somewhat cute near my age group, it's like pulling teeth)
Any thoughts on this?
I'm like you. I get along with men very well platonically (I'm a woman) and have many friends in general, but it just doesn't translate well into dating. My male roommate similarly gets along well with women but isn't good at dating. It's a common problem.
I suspect I'm a lot older than you at almost 37. I've kind of just accepted it as I've found happiness in other aspects of life. There are worse things than being single. Granted, when this is coupled with a very high sex drive, it can really really suck some days. But overall, I've got too much going on in the rest of my life to throw myself into becoming more obviously dateable.
However, I think if you have an "intense fear" you should look to address it. That implies that you are missing out to me as opposed to just being content to bop along as you are.
If things are going to happen to your liking, the time will come that it will happen.
Don't base your existence on what you want now in dating.
Let life go on and it'll just happen if it's meant to be.
Forcing it is not doing you any good in your case as you've witnessed.
Drop the "load of bricks" off your back and relax, why are you carrying them in the first place? - this is what you're doing to yourself.
Life is a --ch.
Let me clue you in on something: I'm not looking but I've been approached by more women with a smile than when being the hunter. Carry yourself well with a smile with confidence on who you are as a human and the vibes given off by that will be like a high-powered radio transmitter in which many womens antennas will pick up on.
THat's great advice...I also need to lose the load of bricks myself.
If things are going to happen to your liking, the time will come that it will happen.
Don't base your existence on what you want now in dating.
Let life go on and it'll just happen if it's meant to be.
Forcing it is not doing you any good in your case as you've witnessed.
Drop the "load of bricks" off your back and relax, why are you carrying them in the first place? - this is what you're doing to yourself.
Life is a --ch.
Let me clue you in on something: I'm not looking but I've been approached by more women with a smile than when being the hunter. Carry yourself well with a smile with confidence on who you are as a human and the vibes given off by that will be like a high-powered radio transmitter in which many womens antennas will pick up on.
I'm not out there like a hungry hyena looking for meat to feed on. I'm naturally a laid back and positive person so I always go out to have fun with my friends and meet some nice people
Still, the idea of "it'll just happen if it's meant to be" is just horrifying. I'm a 24 year old well adjusted decent looking successful man. It shouldn't be this difficult to find somebody...I don't want to die alone
I'm like you. I get along with men very well platonically (I'm a woman) and have many friends in general, but it just doesn't translate well into dating. My male roommate similarly gets along well with women but isn't good at dating. It's a common problem.
I suspect I'm a lot older than you at almost 37. I've kind of just accepted it as I've found happiness in other aspects of life. There are worse things than being single. Granted, when this is coupled with a very high sex drive, it can really really suck some days. But overall, I've got too much going on in the rest of my life to throw myself into becoming more obviously dateable.
However, I think if you have an "intense fear" you should look to address it. That implies that you are missing out to me as opposed to just being content to bop along as you are.
Yeah...that's my only problem. If I didn't have so a high freaking sex drive. I wouldn't even fret over being single. Almost wonder if I would be better off just to get my nut's chopped off.
When God, is ready for you to have someone in your life whether it be a friend or more than that. He will put them in your way and you will know this person when you see them!
I'm like you. I get along with men very well platonically (I'm a woman) and have many friends in general, but it just doesn't translate well into dating. My male roommate similarly gets along well with women but isn't good at dating. It's a common problem.
I suspect I'm a lot older than you at almost 37. I've kind of just accepted it as I've found happiness in other aspects of life. There are worse things than being single. Granted, when this is coupled with a very high sex drive, it can really really suck some days. But overall, I've got too much going on in the rest of my life to throw myself into becoming more obviously dateable.
However, I think if you have an "intense fear" you should look to address it. That implies that you are missing out to me as opposed to just being content to bop along as you are.
No offense but I don't know how women can have troubles dating. As long as you're not hideous and you're not fat, you will have plenty of men courting you. Are you just not able to get the high caliber men that you are desiring?
I'm not out there like a hungry hyena looking for meat to feed on. I'm naturally a laid back and positive person so I always go out to have fun with my friends and meet some nice people
Still, the idea of "it'll just happen if it's meant to be" is just horrifying. I'm a 24 year old well adjusted decent looking successful man. It shouldn't be this difficult to find somebody...I don't want to die alone
Sadly life isn't perfect by far.
Also the die alone is a farce imho. We all die alone imo as people potentially around one will disappear after the last breath. Why do you need someone for death?
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--ch.
