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We've been together about 8 months now and I was being dropped off at the airport by him this morning. As we kissed goodbye I told him I loved him... He didn't say it back ot me. he just said nothing...than I said "did u hear me?" and he goes "yeah I heard you" and laughed.... and then I quickly got out of his car to get my bags before any awkwardness ensued. . . I said bye one more time and just walked my bags away...
I gotta admit I feel a little hurt by it. I thought long and hard about it. I really feel as if this is love. He makes me feel like he loves me.
What do u think this means?
I can't help but feel a little sad about it.
I'm not going to press the issue any further, but it was something I HAD to get off my chest. I have been feeling this way for so long now...and I just had to say it to him. I do love him and he didnt say it back.....now im like
but im still gonna just act as if nothings changed and press on I guess? what should I do?
Maybe he was just surprised or not ready to hear it, and did not really know how to properly respond. Actions do speak louder than words, so if he shows he loves you deeply through his actions (is caring, giving, etc), then I would not panic over his non response yet.
Why did you tell him that? Did you telling him you love him mean you want to communicate higher levels of expectations you have for the relationship? If so, maybe the thing to do is to express to him that you have those expectations for the relationship and see if he shares them.
Have you two talked about where you see your relationship going? What your goals are?
Maybe he was just surprised or not ready to hear it, and did not really know how to properly respond. Actions do speak louder than words, so if he shows he loves you deeply through his actions (is caring, giving, etc), then I would not panic over his non response yet.
Why did you tell him that? Did you telling him you love him mean you want to communicate higher levels of expectations you have for the relationship? If so, maybe the thing to do is to express to him that you have those expectations for the relationship and see if he shares them.
Have you two talked about where you see your relationship going? What your goals are?
I told him I loved him because I really do. I know it's love, there's no mistake. We see eachother once or twice a week, always have a great time, etc, good sex, etc. It was just something I wanted him to know. I said it because I wanted him to know how I fell...I didnt say it to change the relationship necessarily, but I just wanted him to know that I love him. . . Wasn't expecting or demanding to hear it back, but maybe I kinda was expecting/hoping he would say it back. Now I just feel blaaaah. Like I said tho, I'm not gonna be annoying with it and im keep going with an open mind and heart, it's just hard. .
No we have not discussed where the relationship is going.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69
I told him I loved him because I really do. I know it's love, there's no mistake. We see eachother once or twice a week, always have a great time, etc, good sex, etc. It was just something I wanted him to know. I said it because I wanted him to know how I fell...I didnt say it to change the relationship necessarily, but I just wanted him to know that I love him. . . Wasn't expecting or demanding to hear it back, but maybe I kinda was expecting/hoping he would say it back. Now I just feel blaaaah. Like I said tho, I'm not gonna be annoying with it and im keep going with an open mind and heart, it's just hard. .
No we have not discussed where the relationship is going.
I think after 8 months, it is way past due for that discussion. This event may be an indiciator that you have different views on your relationship than he does.
I think after 8 months, it is way past due for that discussion. This event may be an indiciator that you have different views on your relationship than he does.
yeeaahhh thats kind of sad to hear, but u may be right?
does anyone else agree that after 8 months that if he's not feeling it by now, then he's never gonna feel it??
Or should I just give it time and continue on and.....see what happens. I just feel like "why do I feel such intense love and he doesn't?"... "maybe I have this relationship all wrong" "damn, could I be that dumb"
does anyone else agree that after 8 months that if he's not feeling it by now, then he's never gonna feel it??
Or should I just give it time and continue on and.....see what happens. I just feel like "why do I feel such intense love and he doesn't?"... "maybe I have this relationship all wrong" "damn, could I be that dumb"
ugh, a million thoughts like that. suuuucks.
Everyone has their on timeline but I feel like if he doesn't feel the same as you after 8 months, its not fair to you.
You just need to talk to him and find out what he is feeling. Then decide if its worth staying or not.
I told him I loved him because I really do. I know it's love, there's no mistake. We see eachother once or twice a week, always have a great time, etc, good sex, etc. It was just something I wanted him to know. I said it because I wanted him to know how I fell...I didnt say it to change the relationship necessarily, but I just wanted him to know that I love him. . . Wasn't expecting or demanding to hear it back, but maybe I kinda was expecting/hoping he would say it back. Now I just feel blaaaah. Like I said tho, I'm not gonna be annoying with it and im keep going with an open mind and heart, it's just hard. .
No we have not discussed where the relationship is going.
Thanks for the reply! Just to be clear, I did not ask to attack you in any way over it. Just trying to get a better context for the situation in your relationship.
The highlighted is worth mentioning here.
If you have not discussed the relationship's direction and goals with him, then even if things are going well at the moment the two of you do not really know if you even have shared goals for the relationship. This is something you certainly do not want to assume either! Even if to you, the purpose of a LTR that is progressing well seems obvious, it doesn't mean he shares the same goals.
His surprise and lack of response could mean anything from simple suprise and not knowing what to say, to concern that you may have a different goal for the relationship in mind than he does.
I cannot stress enough how important clearly communicating expectations are for a couple in a relationship! Never assume anything, from major to minor details. When he is back, go out to a nice dinner and talk about your expectations. Doesn't mean you need to make immediate commitments, but talk to him about your life goals, his, whether you see him in them or he sees you, those sorts of things.
For any relationship to keep growing, the couple should have a shared goal for the relationship, and a roadmap on how to reach that goal. (The goal could be anything from marriage and a life together, a fwb situation, fb, platonic friendship, temporary situation, or whatever it is... but if you do not know his goal, and he your goal, there is no telling how the other really feels about the relationship.
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