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A fantasy can play out in your head and seem great, but becomes something different/unexpected/unpleasant in real life. I don't think you should do it.
Lol. [SIZE=5]TaoistDude[/SIZE] I wouldn't want another guy touching my girl at all, but if this fulfill her fantasy, I might have no choice but to fulfill hers if she were to ask me to if I could let another do her. So idk
It should be pointed out that any 22 year old young woman who REALLY wants to do such a thing has issues.
You can point it out all you want - but that will not make it true.
People have different sexual desires - fantasies - urges. That is normal. Just because a girl has one that you do not share does not mean she has "issues". Judgemental much?
Certainly suggesting someone who has a sexual fantasy that you do not must either have been molested or is suffering from a mental illness is way overboard.
Many people have fantasies and engage in sexual play of this sort. Seeing their partner pleasuring themselves or being pleasured by a third party. It is a hell of a lot more common than you think - or might want it to be - and suggesting anyone who shares that fantasy is mentally ill or has been molested is just crass judgementalism on your part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Seriously, her age is a dead giveaway that there are issues.
Bull. People form and engage in sexual fantasy at ALL ages. Her fantasy in this case is no more an indication of instablity or sexual abuse at 22 than if she espoused the same fantasy to a partner at 42.
The only person with "issues" here is you - specifically the issue of handling the fact that people have sexual preferences that do not match your own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
But it's just not what an emotionally healthy 22 year-old young woman fantasizes about or wants to participate in.
You are not the arbiter of what is emotionally healthy in the minds of 22 year olds. You have literally no basis for declaring there is anything wrong with a person wishing to fulfil a perfectly harmless sexual fantasy - regardless of their age.
Especially if the sum total of your support for espousing such judgemental tosh is to declare "I know what I know".
You can point it out all you want - but that will not make it true.
People have different sexual desires - fantasies - urges. That is normal. Just because a girl has one that you do not share does not mean she has "issues". Judgemental much?
Certainly suggesting someone who has a sexual fantasy that you do not must either have been molested or is suffering from a mental illness is way overboard.
Many people have fantasies and engage in sexual play of this sort. Seeing their partner pleasuring themselves or being pleasured by a third party. It is a hell of a lot more common than you think - or might want it to be - and suggesting anyone who shares that fantasy is mentally ill or has been molested is just crass judgementalism on your part.
Bull. People form and engage in sexual fantasy at ALL ages. Her fantasy in this case is no more an indication of instablity or sexual abuse at 22 than if she espoused the same fantasy to a partner at 42.
The only person with "issues" here is you - specifically the issue of handling the fact that people have sexual preferences that do not match your own.
You are not the arbiter of what is emotionally healthy in the minds of 22 year olds. You have literally no basis for declaring there is anything wrong with a person wishing to fulfil a perfectly harmless sexual fantasy - regardless of their age.
Especially if the sum total of your support for espousing such judgemental tosh is to declare "I know what I know".
she has a strong fantasy of watching me have sex with another girl. With any girl, as long as she's around my age.
It is not an uncommon fantasy at all. Many share it. The first step in this is to decide if it is something YOU want to do or not. Your willingness to do anything she wants to arouse or stimulate here is admirable and your heart is in the right place. But relationships are the art of compromise as well. If it is something you do not want to do then you should not feel compelled to do it anyway.
Having to decided if it is something you are into doing then you can move forward from there. I would certainly advise not rushing into it. You sound like you want this relationship to last the long distance. In which case you have PLENTY of time to engage in this fantasy. Give it awhile.
As for the fantasy itself I would advise not trying to force it. When it happens try to make it as natural and "in the moment" as it can be. I have noticed all too often (personally and third hand anecdotally anyway) that the more forced - arranged - laid out - artificial - a sexual encounter of this type is the more likely it is to leave the participants disillusioned or unfulfilled or upset.
Finally I would make it clear to both your partner and the third party you engage in it with that it could stop at any time. It is not something that - once started - simply has to go ahead. If your partner at any time during the encounter starts to feel negative or hurt by the experience she should have the option - without judgement or reprcussion - to call a halt to it entirely.
One possible way to take this a little step further is to film yourselves having sex. She can watch this later and in essence it is her watching you being pleasured sexually. It might be something she is into as it serves many (though not all) the same kind of stimulations and enjoyments that watching you live with another girl would. It may - at least - be worth suggesting to her.
This actually suprises me that she's asking me for this, especially since she's the jealous type.
Stop right there! Correct response afterwards was, "But, honey, I love only you. You're the only one I need and want." Why? Because jealous types have a way of also being the testing types. In other words, set up a test, help you basically fail the test, then blame you for failing it as she breaks up with you and slams you on social media.
Now would be a great time to go to her and say, "You know, your proposal surprised me so much that I'm not sure I was thinking clearly at the time. Because I love only you. You're the only one I need and want."
You can point it out all you want - but that will not make it true.
People have different sexual desires - fantasies - urges. That is normal. Just because a girl has one that you do not share does not mean she has "issues". Judgemental much?
Certainly suggesting someone who has a sexual fantasy that you do not must either have been molested or is suffering from a mental illness is way overboard.
Many people have fantasies and engage in sexual play of this sort. Seeing their partner pleasuring themselves or being pleasured by a third party. It is a hell of a lot more common than you think - or might want it to be - and suggesting anyone who shares that fantasy is mentally ill or has been molested is just crass judgementalism on your part.
Bull. People form and engage in sexual fantasy at ALL ages. Her fantasy in this case is no more an indication of instablity or sexual abuse at 22 than if she espoused the same fantasy to a partner at 42.
The only person with "issues" here is you - specifically the issue of handling the fact that people have sexual preferences that do not match your own.
You are not the arbiter of what is emotionally healthy in the minds of 22 year olds. You have literally no basis for declaring there is anything wrong with a person wishing to fulfil a perfectly harmless sexual fantasy - regardless of their age.
Especially if the sum total of your support for espousing such judgemental tosh is to declare "I know what I know".
This entire post and reasoning is to be expected from a man living in the "alternative lifestyle" you engage in. It keeps you from having perspective in my opinion.
I go back to my original comment so we can stay on topic...a 22 year old young woman who actively seeks to engage in this kind of fantasy has other issues of some kind.
Those "issues" could be any number of things, including very simply that she is insecure and afraid of losing her boyfriend so she offers this up to him in a pathetic attempt to keep him.
This fantasy is very common in men. There is a term for it, and has been around forever. A lot of men get off thinking of their wife or girlfriend being fulfilled by a man who is more superior. Admit it or not, thoughts of our lovers with exes or others have crossed our minds. Some find excitement out of it, while others block it out the best they can.
There is a lot of psychological analysis into it. For men, the mix of jealousy and humiliation of their wife enjoying another is an emotional drug. I am sure it effects women as well, but I would think it would strike men more as they are naturally to compete for mates differently than females. There is a lot of psychological analysis I have read about this.
This entire post and reasoning is to be expected from a man living in the "alternative lifestyle" you engage in. It keeps you from having perspective in my opinion.
I go back to my original comment so we can stay on topic...a 22 year old young woman who actively seeks to engage in this kind of fantasy has other issues of some kind.
Those "issues" could be any number of things, including very simply that she is insecure and afraid of losing her boyfriend so she offers this up to him in a pathetic attempt to keep him.
Insecurity issues tend to be a issue with these type of fantasies, but everybody has their insecurities. To believe it or not, even the most normal people can have the most bizarre fantasies. "Having issues" is being into kids, or forced sex. Getting off on jealousy or insecurities as a fantasy is normal among more people than you think no matter how perfect you are.
This entire post and reasoning is to be expected from a man living in the "alternative lifestyle" you engage in. It keeps you from having perspective in my opinion.
Nothing to do with it. But do not let that stop you throwing about dismissive adhominems that get you out of a corner. However this thread is about the OP - not about me.
The fact is that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with having sexual fantasies - at any age - and expressing them to your partner does not mean you have "issues". Her interest in having a threesome - or similar - in no way means she has been abused or is mentally unstable. That is just baseless judgementalism from you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
I go back to my original comment so we can stay on topic...a 22 year old young woman who actively seeks to engage in this kind of fantasy has other issues of some kind.
Reapeating and reasserting nonsense does not stop it being nonsense. Everyone has fantasies. Seeking to engage in them does not mean you have "issues". The only person with "issues" here is you - because you simply can not accept that someone has different sexual fantasies at age 22 than you have/had.
Having - and engaging in - sexual fantasies is perfectly normal and many people do it. There is nothing wrong with this.
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