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In the past I've gone for it more or less around the third date (because I am not a christian and I don't date christians and why not?).
But, reading stuff online, I see that a lot of guys say they take a relationship more seriously if the woman waits longer. So I might try that in the future.
This is pretty much what I've gathered as well. I'm looking for something long term and I'm not a serial monogamist, so I'll wait until I'm comfortable around the person to take that step. I love sex just as much as the next person and I'm definitely not puritanical in any way nor do I have any real hangups (unless you count having sex and then the guy disappearing on you, which I do have a bit of fear of) I just prefer to get to know a person first. Plus, anticipation can be incredible
Yep, you wait until you are both comfortable enough. It could be 15 minutes, or it could be 6 months. Dealing with some sort of pre- set time frame is very telling, because if you do this, it tells me that you do not see me as a unique individual but rather as one of millions of men, who are all the same. Each relationship is very different because it is comprised of two very different and unique individuals, so no set of rules could be applied in each instance. We are human beings not a herd of sheep.
Yep, you wait until you are both comfortable enough. It could be 15 minutes, or it could be 6 months. Dealing with some sort of pre- set time frame is very telling, because if you do this, it tells me that you do not see me as a unique individual but rather as one of millions of men, who are all the same. Each relationship is very different because it is comprised of two very different and unique individuals, so no set of rules could be applied in each instance. We are human beings not a herd of sheep.
Good point
I think i agree with everything you said. The important thing is not pre setting anything. Everyone is different, every relationship is unique.
I have never been intimate with anyone thus far, by choice. As far as the waiting period to be intimate, the absolute bare minimum for me personally is a 100% established and concrete engagement (as in, a future wedding being a total, definitive, and planned certainty). However, and even then, I would still very much prefer to be intimate *post-marriage*, rather than before...
and i thought thats SO different from everything and everyone i ever know
one of my most common thoughts on CDR it's like an alternate universe
my part of the US isn't that different from your neck of the woods, i and most of the mid 20s to mid 30s people i know work pretty much the way you described, 2 - 6 dates depending on various minor factors. a few people do things like oral only for a while or no sex until marriage/engaged/living together/exchange of justin beiber rings/whatever but those seem to me to be the exception to the rule
In the past I've gone for it more or less around the third date (because I am not a christian and I don't date christians and why not?).
But, reading stuff online, I see that a lot of guys say they take a relationship more seriously if the woman waits longer. So I might try that in the future.
Re: bolded. Not sure on that. I guess it depends how it happens or how she acts afterwards.
If it happens 'quicker', and no one makes a big deal out of it, and neither person 'changes' after the fact, I don't really care about when it occurs as far as it making a difference on the relationship.
And honestly, at my age, I just don't have the patience to wait months. I have done that in the past, and it was ok, but that was quite a while ago, and if a woman makes me wait 'too long', I read that as she ins't really interested in me romantically.
We all have 'needs', and most people are getting them met somewhere.
guys that dump women for sleeping with them 'too soon' were going to dump her no matter what.
But, with that being said, sleeping with a guy on a first date IS a pretty bad idea. And the 2nd date is early also, but like i said, it all depends on how it happens, and how each person acts afterwards.
But, in reality, I really really advise against sleeping with someone on the first date.
Re: bolded. Not sure on that. I guess it depends how it happens or how she acts afterwards.
If it happens 'quicker', and no one makes a big deal out of it, and neither person 'changes' after the fact, I don't really care about when it occurs as far as it making a difference on the relationship.
And honestly, at my age, I just don't have the patience to wait months. I have done that in the past, and it was ok, but that was quite a while ago, and if a woman makes me wait 'too long', I read that as she ins't really interested in me romantically.
We all have 'needs', and most people are getting them met somewhere.
guys that dump women for sleeping with them 'too soon' were going to dump her no matter what.
But, with that being said, sleeping with a guy on a first date IS a pretty bad idea. And the 2nd date is early also, but like i said, it all depends on how it happens, and how each person acts afterwards.
But, in reality, I really really advise against sleeping with someone on the first date.
I've always found it interested when people say 'by the third date' or something arbitrary like that, because a lot of those same people will turn around and say 'but I don't want a woman who has slept with more than __ men'. If a person is dating regularly, and regularly sleeping with someone by the third date wouldn't that mean he or she would rack up quite the number by a certain age?
I mean, I don't really care what a persons number is..but I've noticed this a lot in my peer group. They want a woman who puts out fairly early, but doesn't want a woman that has slept with a lot of men.
[quote=JetJockey;29666936]I've always found it interested when people say 'by the third date' or something arbitrary like that, because a lot of those same people will turn around and say 'but I don't want a woman who has slept with more than __ men'. If a person is dating regularly, and regularly sleeping with someone by the third date wouldn't that mean he or she would rack up quite the number by a certain age?
[quote]
I agree. I think it's fairly easy to go on 3 dates and way too soon to know enough about the person. 3 dates could be a week.
Whenever you feel ready which varies by person. I don't think it's a HUGE deal, but it could be. You could get pregnant and end up tied to someone forever who ends up being a whack a doodle for the rest of your life because you slept with them without knowing much about them.
Whenever you feel ready which varies by person. I don't think it's a HUGE deal, but it could be. You could get pregnant and end up tied to someone forever who ends up being a whack a doodle for the rest of your life because you slept with them without knowing much about them.
Maybe this is why the men on this thread seem slightly more lackadaisical about it when compared to the women? I mean, they can disappear fairly easily and if the woman doesn't know basic information about him (or he was lying) then if she does get pregnant she's stuck on her own. Also, STDs are more easily spread from man to woman than woman to man, which basically means a woman's risk with sex is MUCH higher than a mans. This doesn't even take into account one's 'reputation' or the possible psychological issues that often come along with sex.
It doesn't seem like there are as many repercussions for men than there are with women when it comes to sex in general, much less sex fairly early on.
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it's like an alternate universe
