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By letting themselves go I mean getting lazy, not taking care of their appearance to impress, not being on their best behaviour, and generally taking the relationship for granted. Sure, sometimes this strategy results in divorce, but a lot of times they just have a lacklustre marriage with the other spouse being halfway content with the arrangement, but not miserable enough to make it worth leaving.
EDITED thread because I realized that I wrote from the wrong point of view.
What does best behavior mean? Hours at the gym? Hundreds of dollars at the hair salon? Thousands of dollars at the dentist?
As far as the weight gain think this isn't something strictly related to marriage. You don't have to ever marry to gain weight?
Priorities change over time.
I look at pictures of my folks when they first married and in the earlier years. They were always dressed up and looking sharp. As the years progressed their dress, ect. was more relaxed. By the time they were in their 60's, unless they were dolled up for a special event they were downright slouchy looking.
I think just overall you don't worry as much about appearances as you get older.
What a question. That is why people drift apart and divorce. No one "puts up with" anything....people just either work at a marriage or they don't.
Plenty of people put up with their significant others. A few years ago my friend had his girlfriend move in with him and after that it was day after day after day that I had to listen to him complain about something.
What if the spouse has a change in behaviour and it turns out they are nothing like the person you dated?
I would hope that the 'crazy' comes out long before the vows are recited and sealed with a kiss.
With my ex dh, I saw some personality defects and true to idiot form, I hoped to change him. I foolishly believed that if I loved him a bit more, he would change. In the end I saved myself and walked away from his abusive ways.
What does best behavior mean? Hours at the gym? Hundreds of dollars at the hair salon? Thousands of dollars at the dentist?
As far as the weight gain think this isn't something strictly related to marriage. You don't have to ever marry to gain weight?
behaviour and appearance are different.
For instance they could stop doing chores, they could stop using manners, they could become more angry in their arguments, they could stop caring about the emotional needs of a spouse, they could stop caring about the sexual needs of a spouse.
I would hope that the 'crazy' comes out long before the vows are recited and sealed with a kiss.
With my ex dh, I saw some personality defects and true to idiot form, I hoped to change him. I foolishly believed that if I loved him a bit more, he would change. In the end I saved myself and walked away from his abusive ways.
Lol, I wish. In my own family my step father went from being a nice gentleman to a...
For instance they could stop doing chores, they could stop using manners, they could become more angry in their arguments, they could stop caring about the emotional needs of a spouse, they could stop caring about the sexual needs of a spouse.
Okay. But using the words best behavior, do you think anyone is really ever 100% on their best behavior? That would be an unrealistic expectation.
For instance, if one has a parent with a terminal illness or is grieving the death of a parent, will they always be 100% present to be mannerly, do chores or attend to the emotional needs of others. Life isn't always as simple as being on your best behavior for one other person in your life.
Plenty of people put up with their significant others. A few years ago my friend had his girlfriend move in with him and after that it was day after day after day that I had to listen to him complain about something.
They only put up with what they can tolerate. Compromise can be called many things, but you should know that if you intend to have a marriage work, you will indeed have to COMPROMISE and TOLERATE. If you cannot do that, then don't even think about getting married.
Okay. But using the words best behavior, do you think anyone is really ever 100% on their best behavior? That would be an unrealistic expectation.
For instance, if one has a parent with a terminal illness or is grieving the death of a parent, will they always be 100% present to be mannerly, do chores or attend to the emotional needs of others. Life isn't always as simple as being on your best behavior for one other person in your life.
Well, best can be subjective...
...But too often in failed marriages behavior goes from great to progressively worse.
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That is why people drift apart and divorce. No one "puts up with" anything....people just either work at a marriage or they don't.
I foolishly believed that if I loved him a bit more, he would change. In the end I saved myself and walked away from his abusive ways.
