Slowly Trying To Emotionally Distance Myself From My Relationship *Long Vent*

[stan4]

He is slow and lazy about work.

Don't be slow and lazy about breaking up with him.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by scorpioqueen

I can't wait to get through these 90 days.

Why are you waiting 90 days? Just leave.

[librarySue]

Originally Posted by scorpioqueen

Thank you, I appreciate the positive energy I am really going to need it over the course of the next few months. I was downplaying major flaws in my previous statement even though it was not intentional. I am seriously considering counseling after everything is said and done with this so that I can address personal issues with me to start a path to becoming a better person.

Scorpio, you ARE a good person. You tried really hard to be supportive and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Counseling will help you become a Mentally Healthier person.

You can do this!

[psichick]

Originally Posted by scorpioqueen

It is not attractive to me, I didn't realize these traits until the dopamine faded, I just have gotten too deep into the relationship and invested time and emotions. I am in love with this guy I just hate that about him. This is why I have decided to leave and not look back.

I came home today there are dishes piled up, several dirty pots, the stove is nasty, clothes have not been washed, etc. I didn't say anything, I work outdoors for long hours (mail carrier), I come home with achy feet and stressed out from the job, I can't wait to get through these 90 days.

Big sigh. Good luck. I told my XH I wanted a divorce and due to my guilt, I lived with him for another year (we were still divorcing, I just made it easier for him to live w/o a job). During that time, he complained about "doing everything around the house". Laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. I looked at him and said, "okay. Then pay half the rent, take care of all your own bills, we'll split utilities 70/30 because you're home all day using them and I am not, and I'll feed myself, wash my laundry, and you do the same". He literally, looked at his feet and said, "nevermind" in a very defeated voice. I told him, "you're not paying rent, this is your way of paying it. if you want to stop, that's fine, but then you have to pay rent. you can think about if you like".

By that point, I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. And I knew he couldn't afford to pay rent. All his unemployment money was going to his bills and the $200 cable bill, because y'know, he couldn't go without his cable tv.

Hugs to you. You'll make it and you'll do what is best for you. I know it's not easy and I'm sure you feel guilt and hurt and frustrated up the wazoo. Once you two move out and move on, you'll miss him, but you won't miss the stress he brought to your life and that is what will make it all worth it. I may have other stresses in my life, but it's sad, people have literally told me how much I have changed (I'm happier, more talkative, I joke more, smile more, etc)....and it's all because I finally was able to cut him loose.

Good luck. You're doing the right thing and you'll make it. Let the countdown begin.