Tips on finding a good women. How can you tell if shes "wifey" material.
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I would start with not using the term "wifey" material.
Next, you need to know yourself. You will never be able to properly evaluate any potential spouse if you do not intimately know yourself, and can be honest with yourself. Why? You have to look past the lust and butterflies of a young relationship and evaluate a potential spouse through impartial, and analytical eyes. When you know yourself, you will know your real needs, wants, desires, direction, motivation, etc, and can then evaluate the person to determine if they are a good long term fit for you, and not just someone you are emotionally head over heals for.
You have to be willing to make a commitment to loving your wife, as she has to be willing to make that commitment too. This means, being giving, helpful, and supportive through the rough spots and putting in the work to do so... including (and especially) when the emotional love is in a low spot.
Then, you need to have a lot of quality discussion with them. The two of you need to be on the same page with your goals and expecations. Basically, your lives apart from emotional attachment need to correspond. You need the same goals in life, be headed in the same direction, be proceeding at the same speed or pace towards those goals, be in agreement on what the destination is with those goals, be able to communicate well with each other, and be willing to be flexible along the way to handle all the rough spots, and monkey wrenches that go into plans.
You evaluate her heart, motivations, commitment, and desires ultimately not through her words but through her actions. Loving and giving people show it through what they do, as do uncaring and selfish people. (This is where analytical analysis comes in).
Now, specific attributes can be applied here, but are personal to you. Nobody can tell you what your preference for intimacy is. That is about knowing yourself. I will say this however on specifics, you need to know yourself to know what a potential deal breaker is and what isn't, and also know what you insist on, and what can be a work in progress.
Lovin'' all your posts. Between my phone and the site, I'm having troubles giving reps with comments.
it could be an illusion friend. they all seem good. for 42 million of us since no fault divorce, good women turn into devils after 2 years of marriage, that when they call the lawyer and say i want a divorce. that is when you learn that "our assets" are really "her" assets. that is when you learn that that is not your paycheck nor your retirement.
Subtly mention scenarios with real or made-up couples who divorced or are married and have some problem to test what her feelings on the idea of obligation in mariage are.
This is pretty much the most important aspect of anything in picking a mate, as this is WHAT MARRIAGE is, a series of obligations (with requisite rewards, of course, but in this modern egocentric age the obligations are still too much for people)
I really dislike the mother comparison. I look a lot like her and all and she's beautiful at her age so men I date don't have to worry about me "letting go" after marriage. But my mom is quite crazy and controlling, and lost all respect for my dad when he lost his business when i was small (there's more to the story of course). In my opinion, if you married him, you deal with all flaws and good traits too, and she didn't. Oddly, they're better friends now that they're divorced though. I have some of her emotional traits but I don't need everything my way, or else, like her, and have never needed that. The only traits I want from her is her caring, generous, nurturing and forgiving nature. I think I have those though.
Anyways, like other posters have said, you have to know you and what is "right" for you.
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