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About when did you start thinking that the distance would need to change and start to take active steps to make that happen?
I am not asking those who were already in a relationship amd then one of you moved. I am wanting to know from those who met online, at a distance, slowly built something, and then shrank the distance? At what point did that happen? What kind of things need to be considered besides the obvious such as jobs? Was your relationship successful post-move?
I was in a long distance relationship that didn’t work, so I can only provide information from that perspective. The distance was certainly a factor, one that we addressed early on with plans of her relocating to be with me after she finished her professional school. Things ultimately soured for a multitude of reasons that I will not discuss. It is my belief that long distance relationships cannot last without a solid timeframe on the distance being closed along with a plan of action on how it’s going to occur. I think the earlier you have the discussion, the better you’ll feel about the relationship and the less anxiety you’ll experience being so far from someone you love. Things that need to be considered is how you’ll actually get along cohabiting with one another on a daily basis, assuming one of you moves in with the other. It can get unpleasantly real very quickly having not been able to see each other nearly as often as you’d like to, to all of a sudden cohabiting with one another. Things you may have picked up on sooner in a more traditional relationship/dating scenario may become much more apparent. Communication is always paramount in overcoming the growing pains associated with actually being with someone regularly.
We won’t be cohabitating at least not right away. We have spent some weekends together but I know it is not the same. Thank you. We need to have some conversations.
About when did you start thinking that the distance would need to change and start to take active steps to make that happen?
I am not asking those who were already in a relationship amd then one of you moved. I am wanting to know from those who met online, at a distance, slowly built something, and then shrank the distance? At what point did that happen? What kind of things need to be considered besides the obvious such as jobs? Was your relationship successful post-move?
We knew when we first met that one of us would have to move closer for our relationship to be successful. Once we physically met for the first time he started in the springtime (we met in the fall) to look for jobs in my area. That went largely unsuccessful. One year later (with him visiting me frequently and I on occasion because of our work schedules) I ended up finding a job in his state; we then both moved to that location and got married. That was in June 2016 and we met online in July 2014 (physically met and established relationship in November 2014). The relationship was successful, we'll be married two years in October (married on paper in June 2016, the ceremony was held on October 31st, the day we actually met).
We didn't consider anything else besides the job factor. When we visited each other, we would stay at each other's residences to save money so the living together factor was already established. There wasn't anything else I can think of that came up for us to consider.
We knew when we first met that one of us would have to move closer for our relationship to be successful. Once we physically met for the first time he started in the springtime (we met in the fall) to look for jobs in my area. That went largely unsuccessful. One year later (with him visiting me frequently and I on occasion because of our work schedules) I ended up finding a job in his state; we then both moved to that location and got married. That was in June 2016 and we met online in July 2014 (physically met and established relationship in November 2014). The relationship was successful, we'll be married two years in October (married on paper in June 2016, the ceremony was held on October 31st, the day we actually met).
We didn't consider anything else besides the job factor. When we visited each other, we would stay at each other's residences to save money so the living together factor was already established. There wasn't anything else I can think of that came up for us to consider.
Ok. We do somethimg similar. We have also traveled together and hopefully in the spring tackling a longer trip, a week to ten days. I almost got a job near him last year but they chose someone else at the last minuye. Because I am a teacher it os more only in the spring/summer I can look, but that is basically the only thing that needs to fall into place. I am going to have to talk with him but as far as I am concerned the job factor is the big one. My sister and her husband did LDR and neither ever moved, actually, but he was driving to her almost every single weekend. Logistics prevents that for us and We both are deepening feelings at this point so I think a move is in order. I am the one looking because I am the one unhappy in my current job. I would be looking (and have been) regardless of him.
After about 8 months of dating long distance (about 100 miles), I managed to arrange a telecommuting agreement, and worked 3 days from my gf's house so we could really see how thing developed, for another 6 months or so. Then I bought a house in her town and we moved in together. About 2 years later, we moved to another state together.
We have been casually (very casually) dating and getting to know one another for awhile now. Over a year. At first though things were super slow and I wasn't sure it was going to materialize into anything. We really have built a friendship as a base. I sensed, about six months ago, a shift in his feelings. I have also had a shift. If we are going to give it a real shot, the time to plan for it is now. I am a teacher so my job is fairly cyclical but I could potentially find an opening in January. He has hinted at it and I have been looking for positions. So I just wanted to know others' stories and how you made it work. We need to have some serious discussions; it will be me who moves as his job is very stable and not very moveable. If it doesn't work out, well, I am not happy at my job anyway and so have been looking regardless. Thanks again.
After the first year of communication it seemed like a put up or shut up kind of moment for the both of us. Neither of us had a huge amount of time to sit around or make time for the LD thing. The internet was limited to simple BBS styled communication and cell phones and text messages where not a viable option during our courtship, it wasn’t as easy to be in touch as it is today.
After the first year and numerous connections knew we had feelings for one another, but left at simple phone calls and messages it alone wasn’t fulfilling our needs anymore.
I moved to an entirely different country for business purposes, but that processs was already underway before I had reconnected with her. My motivations to move just happened to coincide with our growing relations togther.
Everyone’s situation is going to be different, if you have reservations take it slow and make the time to spend time togther in person if possible.
After the first year of communication it seemed like a put up or shut up kind of moment for the both of us. Neither of us had a huge amount of time to sit around or make time for the LD thing. The internet was limited to simple BBS styled communication and cell phones and text messages where not a viable option during our courtship, it wasn’t as easy to be in touch as it is today.
After the first year and numerous connections knew we had feelings for one another, but left at simple phone calls and messages it alone wasn’t fulfilling our needs anymore.
I moved to an entirely different country for business purposes, but that processs was already underway before I had reconnected with her. My motivations to move just happened to coincide with our growing relations togther.
Everyone’s situation is going to be different, if you have reservations take it slow and make the time to spend time togther in person if possible.
Thank you. I do not have too many reservations anymore. I did when I was uncertain where things were headed but I don't anymore. We still have at least six months before I would move and that would be if I left my job mid-year for a January position (unlikely). I think both of us have stronger feelings than we did, and so it is a more likely possibility now. I am going to talk to him about it. He recently mentioned that he 'might need a bigger house' if things kept going well so I took that as a very good sign of his long term intentions.
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