Joined a dating site, women showing me attention still can't speak to them. (love, attractive)
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I just joined a dating site to put myself out there, and haven't filled out my profile yet, but already women are messaging me and viewing me. I'm not good looking either so this is good yet I can't even begin to interact back with them. I'm already contemplating deleting my profile. I feel like something's in my brain is keeping me from dating. It's something I can't get over I've tried so many times and failed. I have serious mental problems that I can't get over. I just want to get over it and be a man to the ladies, and show them a good time.
Theres only one way to get better at anything and thats experience. If you get involved, you have to understand, successful relationships are hard work. With all the good stuff comes the bad stuff. They are full of ups and downs. You'll never know till you try.
I just joined a dating site to put myself out there, and haven't filled out my profile yet, but already women are messaging me and viewing me. I'm not good looking either so this is good yet I can't even begin to interact back with them. I'm already contemplating deleting my profile. I feel like something's in my brain is keeping me from dating. It's something I can't get over I've tried so many times and failed. I have serious mental problems that I can't get over. I just want to get over it and be a man to the ladies, and show them a good time.
You worry way too much. Just do your own thing. Either they hate you... or fantasize about you while in their bed. Do your own thing and be as bluntly honest as possible. No two guys are alike....IF you are honest. You can blow sunshine and rainbows up their butts and become what they want when they want it. All the other men want to puke though......
"I enjoy long walks in the park to watch the sunset.....I slip off and bring out my romance novel....for an evening meal I love a six course with fine dinning.....I can't wait to get home to tend to my flowers".........
Just shut up Tommy and dig the fishin' bait already!
I think it's something much deeper. It's irrational but I can't help it. It's like a phobia. Someone can be deathly scared of curtains, know it's an irrational fear but still shriek in horror at the sight of them. I think it's something similar with me.
I think it's something much deeper. It's irrational but I can't help it. It's like a phobia. Someone can be deathly scared of curtains, know it's an irrational fear but still shriek in horror at the sight of them. I think it's something similar with me.
Rule number #1 is to be your true self at ALL times. That may cost you dates, but at least you avoid confusion. It's very hard to fake being a "romeo"..."foot sweeper"...(whatever you want to call it) when your buddy is revving his motorcycle up in the background noise of the phone conversation. You won't end up at some bridal show with your "unit" tapped between your legs either. She wouldn't even ask you to go in the first place.
Here's some advice to try and "Get over" your insecurity about looks.
You need to "Address" the issue of your looks and not hide behind it. Its sort of like how balding men try the "combover" Not only does it look horrible, it really shows insecurity on the part of the comboveree.
When someone is unattractive physically, they need to compensate for that by being an amazing person among other things. Part of that "amazingness" is the ability to laugh at yourself, project confidence (fake it if you have to) and just be an overall fun person to be around.
Your biggest fear, and i'm just guessing here, is that someone will tell you to your face that you're unattractive (in a much more harsh way than using the word unattractive). If you can somehow get over that fear and just "Address" your looks in your mind, i think you will have a much better time going forward.
Another fear you might have is that you meet a girl on this dating site, hit it off with her somewhat, but when it comes time to exchange pictures or meet, you're worried she will reject you based on looks.
Maybe you need to be up front right away and actually be honest about it and tell them right off the bat where you stand because its going to come out eventually anyway, at least you get credit for being honest up front.
Here's some advice to try and "Get over" your insecurity about looks.
You need to "Address" the issue of your looks and not hide behind it. Its sort of like how balding men try the "combover" Not only does it look horrible, it really shows insecurity on the part of the comboveree.
When someone is unattractive physically, they need to compensate for that by being an amazing person among other things. Part of that "amazingness" is the ability to laugh at yourself, project confidence (fake it if you have to) and just be an overall fun person to be around.
Your biggest fear, and i'm just guessing here, is that someone will tell you to your face that you're unattractive (in a much more harsh way than using the word unattractive). If you can somehow get over that fear and just "Address" your looks in your mind, i think you will have a much better time going forward.
Another fear you might have is that you meet a girl on this dating site, hit it off with her somewhat, but when it comes time to exchange pictures or meet, you're worried she will reject you based on looks.
Maybe you need to be up front right away and actually be honest about it and tell them right off the bat where you stand because its going to come out eventually anyway, at least you get credit for being honest up front.
There's already a thread going on here where a poster had the courage to post a IRL pic of himself. Right off the bat he was bombarded with "suggestions" on what he needed to fix about himself. Nah, the guy has balls that need to driven around in a dump truck quite honestly.
HOLD THE PHONES CDR!!!!! TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY!!!!!
A MALE CDR POSTER COMPLAINING ABOUT TOO MANY MESSAGES BEFORE HE EVEN FILLS OUT HIS PROFILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
more seriously, to OP... if you haven't even filled out your profile the messages are just spam not actual messages so don't panic just yet
besides that, without knowing the nature of your "serious mental problems" it's hard to give any useful advice
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