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My husband is the 'nag' in our relationship. I often bug him about it and make fun of him being the 'nagging wife', lol. I put up with it because I'll admit it's often (though not always!) deserved - usually when he'll ask me to do something that's outside my realm of everyday responsibilities, like calling a bank or tax office which I LOATHE doing, and I'll procrastinate and/or forget. He also likes certain things to be the way he likes them and will go on forever if they're not done the way he wants. Or he'll fixate on some minor thing and then bug me about it - like if I leave the lights or the TV on; or he'll happily pile up his clothes in a corner of the room even though I've asked him to put them away before, but then if I leave my purse sitting in the entryway he'll grumble and complain. Things like that. It gets much worse if he's tired or stressed at work or about other things - then he takes it out on me by being extra whiny and complaining and nagging about minor unrelated things, much like a kid being cranky when tired. Sad thing is our DS seems to take after him and already whenever he's tired or upset he'll start acting extra bossy and controlling and demanding, lol.
I'm completely the opposite - extremely laid back, and I practically never nag, my motto is let and let live. I hate being nagged and like my personal freedom, and I let others do their thing. I let things go a lot, and honestly not many things bother me; I don't feel it's my place to be a nagging 'parent' in a marriage - and we've had arguments with DH about him talking down to me like to a child sometime. On the other hand, he feels differently and he's actually asked me a few times to 'bug' him about this or that, like remind him to eat healthier - and I was baffled by that, because honestly I'd be pissed off if he told me what to eat. I guess it's just different personalities.
It seems that in a lot of relationships, the woman plays the role of the mother, or the big sister, and constantly acts like she's more mature, and often nags her husband/boyfriend/partner, sometimes treating him like a big kid/boy. Countless sitcoms/folk tales/stereotypes from various cultures seem to back this up.
Is this a typical trend, do most women tend to nag sometimes, or is it a sizeable minority?
I know some husbands exasperate their wives, but I think some women take it too far, having to take issue with everyone and just not being chill enough. Like somewhere between totally anal and a drug addict slob or something.
Were you aware that TV and real life are two different things? In real life, women who marry mature adults don't nag because the guys take the initiative and do what needs to be done either without being asked, or the first time they're asked. That may sound like a radical concept to some, but it's actually quite common.
I think the whole concept of "nagging" is gender stereotype. Men also hassle and pressure their significant others various ways. But there is no special word to describe this behavior when men do it.
You put it perfect! I was sort of trying to say this in my post but couldn't word it well. For some reason the word "nag" became associated with a woman. It is a gender stereotype, but it's just something people in gneral can do. Great point!
Women always claim they're not nags. But that's only true until they get emotionally attached to you. Then they will slowly pick you apart until you either run for your life or cower in a corner.
...And, sorry, but no matter how much you complain about it, it is always going to be the man's job to take the garbage out and put the toilet seat down. That's just the way the world works and you aren't going to change it. So just do it without being constantly reminded.
Oh c'mon...you can't look before you sit? After your fanny smacks the porcelain a few times a person should learn that fundamental skill: Look before you sit. An unfortunate female friend of mine was cured of this inflexible rule by the fact that her son and her husband would both go in and pee when the seat was down...and after many experiences wiping the pee off her butt, she learned to leave the seat up.
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Nagging is not a gender specific behavior.
That's for sure. Nagging is just the female style of bullying, and bullying is an equal opportunity employer.
That's what I was nagged about in my last relationship. Marriage. See ya
Yeah nothing more annoying than being the first to even bring that topic. Men hate that and yet they can't seem to understand that. If the man wants marriage, he'll be the first one to say it without any hesitation. A man crazy in love would probably walk through broken glasses to get to her.
I get the feeling men might do slightly more after all, which is why some are worried if the woman will appreciate it or used it to her advantage. Example: even in movies if one of them has to give up their life, it's usually the man; he wants his gf/wife to live and find her happiness even without him (this happened in that 2012 movie theater shooting). Or during both WWI and WWII; I'm sure many of those men that died had families. Too often, I have read about women complaining about men not committing and waiting years for it, but what I'm getting is when he finally does commit he might end up doing more than what the woman demanded in the first place. So now I get it's not easy for them and they just want to make sure they're not doing it all for nothing.
Were you aware that TV and real life are two different things? In real life, women who marry mature adults don't nag because the guys take the initiative and do what needs to be done either without being asked, or the first time they're asked. That may sound like a radical concept to some, but it's actually quite common.
I'm aware some guys needed to be told to get off their asses but conversely, some women nag excessively. Sometimes it is the other way around like EvilCookie said but that seems less common. Maybe it's different personalities. Also like EvilCookie said, some people are hypocrites about it. My sister is super messy and leaves all her crap around the house but would always nag me whenever I left anything around...my dad too...thank goodness I live alone now.
I think the whole concept of "nagging" is gender stereotype. Men also hassle and pressure their significant others various ways. But there is no special word to describe this behavior when men do it.
It's a stereotype, but I think there is more than a grain of truth to this one IME.
Im not a bible thumper but somewhere in the bible it says that one of the curses that Adam (man) got for eating the forbidden fruit was that he would have a nagging wife.
haha, i'm consider myself fairly familiar with the bible and never heard this. I am familiar with some related thoughts in Proverbs: "A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day".
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