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Walking in a mall with him holding hands, a colleague of mine came by said hi to me, he immediately dropped my hand. After a few hours I decided to tell him I didnt like his reaction he was like oh I am sorry but his ex always did that to him so he was trained to do that. He said less drama in that way, and he said in a joking way that "Well I dont want your colleague to think that you are dating a big guy and he looks scary."
I am not fine with it, thinking of moving on. What do you guys think? Is it disrespectful or am I just overreacting.
Awww poor guy. I believe him, don't dump him. I don't think he was being disrespectful. You should reassure him.
He's not my boyfriend, only someone i am seeing. Thinking of moving on is because i dont feel hes that interested, the holding hand is only the catalyst.
I think the deeper issue is that you do not trust him and you do not feel like what you share between you two is genuine.
Maybe at face-value your concerns are seem petty, but perhaps there's more to the story besides this incident. And this is just the tip of the ice-berg so to speak.
Seems like you are looking for consistency and your questioning his intentions seem to stem from a lack of trust that started somewhere in the beginning which has cascaded your emotions now, because he hadn't been consistent, and that is what you're looking for?
(Anyway- if he's someone you're casually seeing, I assume by casual you want something more, and you guys are not bf/gf status yet- in this case, making demands to hold hands with him seems to imply you want more, so maybe if you aren't on the same page- move on- deep down you know what's up not a bunch of internet-haters)
Walking in a mall with him holding hands, a colleague of mine came by said hi to me, he immediately dropped my hand. After a few hours I decided to tell him I didnt like his reaction he was like oh I am sorry but his ex always did that to him so he was trained to do that. He said less drama in that way, and he said in a joking way that "Well I dont want your colleague to think that you are dating a big guy and he looks scary."
I am not fine with it, thinking of moving on. What do you guys think? Is it disrespectful or am I just overreacting.
I'm thinking that you are a total drama queen, a head case who imagines offenses where none exist. What's next? Are you going to complain about how your boyfriend passed you the salt at the dinner table? "Gosh. I thought he set the shaker down two inches further away from me than I normally like. I had to reach further than normal." Grow up.
If your relationship is new, it might have just been out of habit. Cut him some slack this time. Let him know you're not embarassed to be associated with him.
I wouldn't dump the guy just for this. Tell him clearly that you hope he'll not do that again, regardless of what he used to do. That it hurts your feelings. Then give him a chance. Don't just bail on him.
Agree it could be iffy if it was always done around people HE knows but in this situation with your colleague, it sounds like he was trying to be considerate of you in some way. Agree with others that the explanation was wtfins, though.
Walking in a mall with him holding hands, a colleague of mine came by said hi to me, he immediately dropped my hand. After a few hours I decided to tell him I didnt like his reaction he was like oh I am sorry but his ex always did that to him so he was trained to do that. He said less drama in that way, and he said in a joking way that "Well I dont want your colleague to think that you are dating a big guy and he looks scary."
I am not fine with it, thinking of moving on. What do you guys think? Is it disrespectful or am I just overreacting.
I would say you are over reacting. I would further suggest you move on, I don't think you deserve a decent guy if such small insignificant things bother you. This borders on being ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as making a post about it.
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