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I don't want to mess up the rest of this vacation by having yet another useless talk with my wife. This is the last straw, Things are going to be mighty different when we get home.
I don't want to mess up the rest of this vacation by having yet another useless talk with my wife. This is the last straw, Things are going to be mighty different when we get home.
What??!! I'm so sorry.
Have a couple Mai Tais or a bottle of wine. That might help. Ummm Hawaii and if there's no kids = sex at least twice a day. IMO
If you and your wife had a sexless marriage and you went on this trip thinking it would magically transform everything, that part is on you. It's called a covert contract "I will take us to this wonderful romantic place and in return she will be sooo grateful she will have sex with me" and that is not correct thinking. If your wife does not desire you in one setting, why think she will desire you in a different setting?
If you are in a sexless marriage, spending the money on a marriage counselor may help, but a trip, flowers, jewelery or washing the dishes definitely will not. You need to find out what happened in your marriage to kill your wife's desire to be close to you, or nothing will change. You can go home and demand she comply, but it will be duty sex and I am betting what you really want is for her to desire you and be in love with you again.
If you and your wife had a sexless marriage and you went on this trip thinking it would magically transform everything, that part is on you. It's called a covert contract "I will take us to this wonderful romantic place and in return she will be sooo grateful she will have sex with me" and that is not correct thinking. If your wife does not desire you in one setting, why think she will desire you in a different setting?
If you are in a sexless marriage, spending the money on a marriage counselor may help, but a trip, flowers, jewelery or washing the dishes definitely will not. You need to find out what happened in your marriage to kill your wife's desire to be close to you, or nothing will change. You can go home and demand she comply, but it will be duty sex and I am betting what you really want is for her to desire you and be in love with you again.
I agree with your post except for one thing, your assumption that something happened to "kill" his wife's desire to be with him sexually. For all we know the desire was never there to begin with, perhaps she had a low sex drive all along. Or perhaps she is sleeping with someone else. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with the marriage itself and instead she has some type of physical problem.
I agree with your post except for one thing, your assumption that something happened to "kill" his wife's desire to be with him sexually. For all we know the desire was never there to begin with, perhaps she had a low sex drive all along. Or perhaps she is sleeping with someone else. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with the marriage itself and instead she has some type of physical problem.
I once asked men here why men might stop having sex with their wives and the most common given answer by the men was "not in love with her anymore".
It could very well be a medical issue with her. Sometimes those hormones just don't flow for a variety of reasons. Some women suffer from low testosterone and it is a simple matter of an Rx. Depression is another reason. How is her emotional health?
I was in her shoes once. No interest in sex due to depression, then due to the antidepressants I was taking. (plus my husband was a jerk).
Whatever her challenges, I hope you are thinking of her needs as well as her own. My marriage would have been so different if my husband had JUST ONCE said "I'm sorry you are struggling, it really pains me to see you feeling this bad. What can I do to help" and then, of course if he had actually offered some follow through.
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just a suggestion.
