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Why would I put either one first or second? It's not an either/or thing. We put our family first - that means ALL of us.
ive heard some people say a marriage may not last forever so they put the kids first and ive also heard you put the marriage first because it was established before the kids (assuming you married prior to having children) a good marriage creates a good/healthy environment for your offspring
ive heard some people say a marriage may not last forever so they put the kids first and ive also heard you put the marriage first because it was established before the kids (assuming you married prior to having children) a good marriage creates a good/healthy environment for your offspring
Well, I married my husband for life - and we love our son unconditionally. So I still don't understand why I would put one before the other. Like I said - we put our family first. Taking care of our son doesn't get in the way of our marriage - and our marriage doesn't get in the way of taking care of our son. There is enough love to go around.
Healthy parenting requires the couple to be on the same page so that kids don't divide and conquer. To be good parents you have to put your marriage first. And kids grow up and leave home, without a good relationship with your spouse, what do you then have? How many times have we seen or heard about couples divorcing when the kids leave home because they neglected their marriage and now have nothing that keeps them together anymore.
I come from a culture that always puts the kid first.
*shrug*
When they are very little, it certainly seems like they get all the attention.
But life is a moving cycle and things are changing all the time.
I agree that we put our son's needs before anything else - but I don't really consider that putting our marriage second. I suppose that would be the case if both parents weren't on the same page and one spouse felt like they needed all the attention - but luckily, that isn't the case with us (and I don't think it's the case with your family, either).
Healthy parenting requires the couple to be on the same page so that kids don't divide and conquer. To be good parents you have to put your marriage first. And kids grow up and leave home, without a good relationship with your spouse, what do you then have? How many times have we seen or heard about couples divorcing when the kids leave home because they neglected their marriage and now have nothing that keeps them together anymore.
yep! i get this alot also your kids will soon grow up and be out of the house
To start with we are all on the same team, so decisions are made keeping that in mind. Like Dew said, it's not all or nothing. Sometimes the kids are put first (a lot of the time, because they are kids), and sometimes the marriage.
We try to maintain a balance.
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