I’m not happy in my marriage but when my friend showed me the men on her POF app in just grossed out. (dating, women)
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I’m old. Almost 47. My marriage is pretty much over. But the thought of any of these guys she was showing me online is just so unappealing. I have had some serious attraction to some men but it’s either someone I’ve have gotten to know. Or celebrities (which don’t count). But these guys just don’t even seem like someone I would want to meet. I’m feeling so down. I’ve only felt attraction to 2 people in the last 15 years (besides my husband). One being a friend of mine and one being a famous person. Otherwise I feel like people might have bad hygiene etc....
And, you do know, that free sites like POF aren't the only ones out there, right?
47 is not "old". It's early middle-age. Also, online dating isn't your only choice. There are lots of ways to meet people in real life (IRL), without going online. It's up to you.
I’m old. Almost 47. My marriage is pretty much over. But the thought of any of these guys she was showing me online is just so unappealing. I have had some serious attraction to some men but it’s either someone I’ve have gotten to know. Or celebrities (which don’t count). But these guys just don’t even seem like someone I would want to meet. I’m feeling so down. I’ve only felt attraction to 2 people in the last 15 years (besides my husband). One being a friend of mine and one being a famous person. Otherwise I feel like people might have bad hygiene etc....
Is the problem here dating or depression? Often when your relationship is so bad you are considering divorce, you are dealing with depression. When you are depressed everything seems bleak. But if you got treatment for depression, things wouldn't seem so bleak. There is a wide range of men and women in the dating pool, some are good, some are bad. but if you can only focus on the bad usually that is depression influencing your thinking.
Dating someone else right away is the last thing you should be thinking about!
File for yr divorce. Heal. Take time to focus on you & then get back into it if u want. Whats the rush?
I agree. There's no rush to find someone else.
Yet I understand where the OP is coming from. I first looked at several sites, including pay sites that let you look for free, a few months after after a very long relationship ended. No one appealed to me, so I thought maybe it was still too soon to consider someone else, so I put it aside for six months. I looked again and felt the same way, so I gave it another six months and looked again. At this point it was about a year and a half since the relationship ended and not only did no one appeal to me, I was very much turned off by the sea of faces, many of whom were there all three times I looked. That told me that they were either fake profiles, they weren't looking for anything real, or they had some kind of issue that when they did meet women, they somehow turned the women off, so they were still on the sites.
I changed cities and thought I would look again, just to see if the "flavor" of the men in the new city was somehow different. Again, no. And now in a new city, curiosity got the better of me a few months ago and no, no, no.
Is it me? Is it the quality of people on the sites? Is it that "old" guys don't appeal to me even though we are the same age? Is it that in the years I was in the relationship, online dating went from something fairly conversive with a logical progression (exchanging a few messages, a call, then plans for a date) to short-attention-span swipe culture and barely completed profiles?
Does it matter? All I know is that I reacted negatively to it, with feelings something like revulsion, so if I ever do decide to date again, that will likely not be the way I go about it. Never mind the fact that no one stood out or caught my eye, I realized I don't have the patience for the stupid comments women receive on those sites. The first time some 25-year-old wrote to me going on about "older women" I might just throw my phone in the garbage.
Dating someone else right away is the last thing you should be thinking about!
File for yr divorce. Heal. Take time to focus on you & then get back into it if u want. Whats the rush?
I agree w/ the above completely! OP, don't tell me you're one of those types who, "has to have a man" at all times or else...you just won't know what to do! Oh woe is me.
Based on another one of her threads, he's already found his upgrade and they have a week-long getaway planned.
Upgrade? He is very overweight. Would he have a lot of options? Plus the getaway is real per the messages on FB. Unless he got his friend to do a whole charade for him.
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