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Once you realize they are bad for you, you break up. If you continue, you are setting yourselves up for future misery and failure. The rational - and wise - thing is to end it ASAP. Of course, that can be very difficult. I've done it a few times, though, and in retrospect, it was the right thing to do.
Surely, you're not in love if you want to bail from the relationship. One is basically kicking the can until they find the courage to leave, and typically, the courage comes from finding another person first.
If you really love each other, you'll let each other go for their own good and future well being. Staying is a sign of selfishness and weakness, not love.
If you really love each other, you'll let each other go for their own good and future well being. Staying is a sign of selfishness and weakness, not love.
If it's lasted a long time and there are kids involved, it can be impossible to extricate yourself.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is to focus on attraction to the total exclusion of compatibility. To get along with someone over the long haul, you need to be a good match with them intellectually and temperamentally. I've never seen an "opposites attract" romance end well...
I agree with this 100%. Good looking girls are a dime a dozen. It's important to find one you are compatible with in other areas besides just thinking they look good if you want it over the long haul. Plus it's more fun that way.
If you want the relationship to work, you concentrate on the positive aspects in that relationship. Once you realize the relationship is toxic for you, you force yourself to ONLY concentrate on the negative part in that relationship.
You might have fallen in love with a toxic person, but that love is not going to last long. Think about how miserable you'd be in the future if you keep the relationship going. It is not fair for neither one of you.
Distant yourself from that person, don't invest any more emotion. That is what I will do.
If you really love each other, you'll let each other go for their own good and future well being. Staying is a sign of selfishness and weakness, not love.
If you really love each other, you'll let each other go for their own good and future well being. Staying is a sign of selfishness and weakness, not love.
I think that's what happened with me and my long-ago ex. We always kinda knew we wouldn't be a good long-term couple, but we were exactly the relationship that both of us needed for a brief time. I ended it, but he understood my reasoning and we kept it perfectly amicable. Letting go was the rational thing to do, and neither of us wanted to drag out what we had until it became a negative rather than a positive.
I told him we needed to talk one day, and he looked over at me and got a sad look on his face. He said "you're not happy." We took it from there.
We loved each other very much, but he was really a "rules are made to be broken" kind of guy and I'm more of a "do what needs to be done" type. He felt constrained by my need to follow the rules, and I was always stressed by some of his choices which were often irresponsible, from my perspective. Like, he thought nothing of quitting a job he didn't like without anything lined up. We had no savings at that time, so him being out of work meant all kinds of potential disaster if he didn't get a new job right away.
Once I realize that it would never work out given objective facts of reality. . . .
I spent the next few months getting her off harder, longer and better than any other guy she had been with.
Then I began to distance myself emotionally and physically from her.
She transitioned to the next guy, then the one after him and the new one after him.
And to this day she still calls and texts me and wants it more than the air she breathes.
And I take great satisfaction in knowing that denying her the level of sexual satisfaction and intensity that she used to have with me, causes her to still think about me at least once every ten minutes that she is awake everyday.
If you love the person, like you stated, and have all those issues, then you let them go so they can find someone who can truly love them for all that they are. It's not fair to them nor you.
I dated and fell in love with my XH. I even ended it once and went back. I had doubts on our wedding day, but figured, "I love him" and went forth. I look back and I know for a fact, without a doubt, that I should have never gotten involved with him. Or even went back to him. I wasted 10 years of his life by being with him, when I shouldn't have been. I let him go so he can find someone who truly loves him for him. And I let him go, so I could find someone I could love unconditionally.
Be kind, rewind (bad MIB joke).
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