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I'm saying the response to everything is that "I won't change ... you deal with the problem."
I mean. It's such a small change. You just cut back on the really sugary compliments if you are not interested. That sounds pretty easy to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Anyway, I suggest it would be easier for you, one person, to understand this social phenomena and act accordingly than to expect millions of women in the US to change.
I already have changed. Have you read any of my posts? There's probably not a male in the world who is more realistic about his chances with any given woman no matter what they say and do than me.
But still. Thousands of women read these posts. According to my header, my posts have been read 326,221 times. Probably doing more harm than good.
But at least a few women who have already read this are in a position to make that change. Whether they do or not, is another thing.
I'm saying the response to everything is that "I won't change ... you deal with the problem."
I mean. It's such a small change. You just cut back on the really sugary compliments if you are not interested. That sounds pretty easy to me.
This makes very little sense. You are asking women, as a whole, to change the way they engage in politeness and kindness based on a small sub set of people who MIGHT misunderstand that polite kindness.
My biggest problem with men is that as a woman I cannot compliment some of them without every minute action, word and detail being posted on a public forum and analyzed to death starting with the phrase:
"This female I know told me she liked the tie I wore today, does she want to hook up?"
I know most of the forum is just unproductive fun and bickering, but maybe you name one complaint against the opposite sex where someone might read your post and be like "Ok. I do kinda do that. Maybe I won't anymore."
I wish guys would take no as no. Rejection is never easy, but a polite no is still a no. It doesn't mean ask me a week later, it doesn't mean to ask me a month later, it doesn't mean to leave a love letter on my desk telling me all the ways you're attracted to me.
Yeah, I think I'll continue to be polite and kind to nice people I come into contact with, even if I am running the risk of ruining their lives by making them think I am romantically interested when I am in fact not.
This makes very little sense. You are asking women, as a whole, to change the way they engage in politeness and kindness based on a small sub set of people who MIGHT misunderstand that polite kindness.
No, I'm not.
I'm asking YOU to change.
You know exactly what I'm talking about because I know you are an attractive woman and have almost never been rejected in your life.
Part of being attractive is having many people into you that you will reject.
Are you saying that you refuse to tone down the really sugary compliments to men you have no interest in?
If I looked like a male model and I told some pudgy short woman how awesome she was and how she makes me feel great, I just 'don't expect her to get the wrong idea'?
I mean, like I said before, I'm already past that point, it's not for me. But c'mon. Have a little heart.
Yeah, I think I'll continue to be polite and kind to nice people I come into contact with, even if I am running the risk of ruining their lives by making them think I am romantically interested when I am in fact not.
It's 2 different things and you KNOW the difference.
I wish guys would take no as no. Rejection is never easy, but a polite no is still a no. It doesn't mean ask me a week later, it doesn't mean to ask me a month later, it doesn't mean to leave a love letter on my desk telling me all the ways you're attracted to me.
Now, I agree that is a problem with men yes.
Guys need to learn no means no and very first no is the last no.
One of the ways to avoid that is by being more conscious of unintentionally leading guys on.
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There's probably not a male in the world who is more realistic about his chances with any given woman no matter what they say and do than me.
