Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Last year I divorced by then wife, who was really my junior high SH after finding out about her multiple affairs. It was really horrible and I haven't recovered completely yet. I'm now 23 years old (no kids yet) and haven't gotten into a relationship.
Another thing to add: I've always been a kind of reserved, shy man (still can be at times) and don't feel comfortable being in loud places. It was really her that once started talking to me during math class (she needed help on a math problem) and I got comfortable and it went on from there; our parents used to get along with each other too. We were 14 at the time and got married at the age of 20.
Fastforward: Now I feel kind of lost and since that's the only woman I ever had and unfortunately it ended badly, I'm getting used to what's it like being single, not a single woman approaching me and I'm doing all the pursuing and some of them are taken or not available. It feels like talking to strangers and it either getting no where and what the type I'm looking for or I can't even connect to them. It's so hard the single world.
Sometimes this makes me feel frustrated. I know everything about how to act in a relationship and all the aspects of it but hardly anything about the single world and starting from zero.
Basically, I only started pursing women before till after my divorce and I'm currently not doing so well for now. I don't want casual hook-ups, just want a relationship and not get burn this time. Will I get a chance again?? I'm seeing some of my friends who get out of relationships (1 got divorced too) get into another one and they aren't struggling. How do they do that? Sometimes I feel like an inexperienced man again.
Last year I divorced by then wife, who was really my junior high SH after finding out about her multiple affairs. It was really horrible and I haven't recovered completely yet. I'm now 23 years old (no kids yet) and haven't gotten into a relationship.
Recover first, then look around for a new partner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lonetravel;
Basically, I only started pursing women before till after my divorce and I'm currently not doing so well for now. I don't want casual hook-ups, just want a relationship and not get burn this time. Will I get a chance again?? I'm seeing some of my friends who get out of relationships (1 got divorced too) get into another one and they aren't struggling. How do they do that? Sometimes I feel like an inexperienced man again.
I've always wondered that myself. It seems like your confidence has had a setback from the divorce, which is understandable, considering the multiple affairs. Consider getting some counseling from a trauma or grief counselor for this traumatic experience (series of experiences, really) you've been through. When you're feeling better, get involved in group activities of various sorts, per your interests: sports, hobbies, political or enviro orgs, etc., to place yourself in environments where you can meet women casually, and get to know them gradually in a low-key way.
I think I'll be taking a break from the dating scene. Part of my struggle is once in a while, I get reminded of the girl she was before the cheatings. None of the women I met has those qualities or they do but they're taken already.
I can guarantee you that at 21, 22, 23, or 24, there are women with the inner qualities you're looking for that are not taken, and are looking for a good guy. To find them, you need to really get around, really circulate. The question is, to what extent might you be limiting your pool by having very high standards for women's outer qualities? But in any case, I think you have some emotional healing work to do before you'll be able to get into dating baggage-free.
I think I'll be taking a break from the dating scene. Part of my struggle is once in a while, I get reminded of the girl she was before the cheatings. None of the women I met has those qualities or they do but they're taken already.
dating isn't easy. For most people....
Fortunately for you, you married young, and have A LOT of relationship experience for someone your age. Most likely, when you do date again, women will find you experienced and more mature than the other guys they date.
Now is a great time in your life to focus on your career and some friends. Being that age with all the raging hormones, and desire for companionship will confuse you think you need to be in a relationship.
You are really quite lucky to be divorced at 24 years old, vs 30 or 35, or 40 or whenever.
Some people may say that your dating life is kind of just beginning. You just happened to date and marry your first gf at a very young age.
Pursue hobbies, true friends, and your siblngs/cousins, to spend time with. Now is not the time to panic. Give yourself some time to heal, and eventually, you will heal. But sometimes it takes a really long time. Years even. Even if it takes you years to heal emotionally, that makes you what, 27 ? I would LOOVE to go back to 27 and have a clean slate.
Take it from someone who stayed single most of their 20's, have a good time and work on yourself and your career. Don't even think about seriously dating for a few years, just hang out and have fun.
I think I'll be taking a break from the dating scene. Part of my struggle is once in a while, I get reminded of the girl she was before the cheatings. None of the women I met has those qualities or they do but they're taken already.
Relax, take your time dude. I've been divorced since 2000, and ZERO desire to ever get married again, and frankly I really don't miss a woman all that much. A date every now and then is fine for me. No drama, no stress.
Take it from someone who stayed single most of their 20's, have a good time and work on yourself and your career. Don't even think about seriously dating for a few years, just hang out and have fun.
Break out of your shyness and recover from from your divorce first before pursuing any woman.
Being shy is not a good thing to be as a man since you have to do all the approaching.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
