Is it possible a married woman has feelings for me a lesbian friend? (date, wife)
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Can someone shed some light on my situation, please bare the choppiness.
There's this really beautiful married (older woman) that I've been harboring feelings for. She's a customer of mine and I'm her sales rep. She's 39 and I'm 28. I'm lesbian and she's happily married with 2 young kids. From the day I met her and introduced our product to her we've really hit it off in terms of friendship. We share a lot of common things, even went to the same elementary school and had the same 4th grade teacher. Even though she was 11 years older than me I didn't think I was talking to someone near 40 lol. Our very first lunch meeting (work related) we ended up talking for hours and having a few cocktails. I was surprised how comfortable she opened up to me and vice versa. I found out so much about her in the 4 hours that we had lunch. Considering im a lesbian and akward with not too many female friends, it was rather odd for me to have such a bond with a married woman. She's definitely a rich housewife but is very humble. We shared a lot of similarities. She used to tell me how much of a party animal she was. We have a lot of daily text message conversations even sometimes late at night and early in the morning. She's never been secretive or shy to talk about her husband and kids. I've met her youngest daughter one time she brought her to lunch.
I was very attracted to her and at the same time I respected her marriage. However I felt so comfortable with her as a friend that I straight up told her how I felt and was expecting that she would freak out and avoid me. but to my dispay she was very supportive and says stuff like "I'll find love one day" and "im still young just enjoy life" she still text messages me on a daily basis, we met up for lunch a couple times. I think our demeanor is casual and mild flirty. Mostly from me of course. I always paid for lunch as if a date. It was never akward and just felt so comfortable and right. We went out on a double date one time her her and husband, me and my boss. We both got drunk and enjoy ourselves. I have NEVER made a pass at her nor have we've ever talked about sex and anything. Our conversations were your typical friendship daily stuff. Yes we share personal things with each other. I don't have any female friends so I don't know if this is normal friends behavior. Someone told me she might just be a bored housewife and just a friendly person. I have never said anything inappropriate during our text messaging conversations. Yea sometimes I would say cute stuff like "I hope your husband reminds you how beautiful you are" .
Anyway yesterday my boss called me and said I was busted from "the husband" I was confused for a second and then he proceeded to tell me that the husband called him and wanted to meet up. So my boss met up with him and it was bad. The husband threatened my boss..said something along the line of "I saw some text messages from your EMPLOYEE to my wife and I don' like it. You need to tell her to back off or else" "She doesn't know i'm here or the situation and I would like to keep it that way"
Needless to say my boss was shocked as was I. That same day I heard the news from my boss, I had still be in contact with her via text. Although that week's conversation was very limited and short. She kept expressing she's been busy getting ready for her store to open etc etc etc. I Went back and look through the weeks conversation and I saw nothing that was inappropriate to set someone off and threaten my boss like the way he did. I mean there was little comments about him coming from her but they were nothing more than lol jokes. "he's so picky" "he likes to stay in the bubble" There was nothing sexual, just conversation. A lot of it was even work related. Our last convo from two days prior I even ask if her and hubby would be interested in going to see a local show. I'm sooo confused as to what he read or even what she might've told him. this guy is definitely particular and anal. He likes to look good, enjoy the finer things in life, look like a millionare etc. He is definitely a routine guy and I think she hangs out with me cause im open for anything.
I'm just a little heartbroken at what happened. My boss told me to lay low and just don't be in contact with her anymore. Is it possible she had feelings for me? or that maybe I got too comfortable with her considering she was married? Was her husband being possessive? jealous? insecure? Did I cross any lines? Was she oblivious to everything not knowing her husband wouldn't like her having a friend like me? Was she vicariously living her youthful days through me?
As a person who manages reps, I would have fired you on the spot. I also would be reviewing your expense reports again to see if you billed the company for one of those Flirty boozy lunches. And sinceyourpost is all about you and your feelings instead of how you behaved inappropriately with a client, I would know I made the right choice. Wait, not just a client, a married client. I can't believe you still have a job.
As a person who manages reps, I would have fired you on the spot. I also would be reviewing your expense reports again to see if you billed the company for one of those Flirty boozy lunches. And sinceyourpost is all about you and your feelings instead of how you behaved inappropriately with a client, I would know I made the right choice. Wait, not just a client, a married client. I can't believe you still have a job.
Well........that's one opinion.
As long as you didn't say anything out of line at all, you don't have anything to worry about. Odd (or maybe not) that the husband seems to be snooping. But that's marriage to some. You obviously need to stop with any 'non work' contact, and let the husband dig his own hole to fall in. It does put you in a pickle though if she wonders why the friendship cooled. That might be a little sticky to handle.
As long as you didn't say anything out of line at all, you don't have anything to worry about. Odd (or maybe not) that the husband seems to be snooping. But that's marriage to some. You obviously need to stop with any 'non work' contact, and let the husband dig his own hole to fall in. It does put you in a pickle though if she wonders why the friendship cooled. That might be a little sticky to handle.
"husband seems to be snooping." "husband dig his own hole to fall in."
The husband should wonder what is up as the OP obviously is emotionally and sexually interested in his wife? The OP sounds like she would have no problem being a home wrecker to satisfy her attraction for the woman. Wonder what the poor kids would think about their family being broken apart.
I find it strange that an older married woman spends so much time texting and going out with a younger lesbian who has told her she was "very attracted to her." Most happily married women that age (and I am one) would run from that, not encourage it.
And the fact that the husband secretly sought out your boss to tell him to make you stop.... The whole scenario doesn't add up... Why didn't the husband just ask the wife about it? Why is the woman/mother texting you, a lesbian, all the time? It is similar to her texting a young 28 y.o. guy who is hot for her - the husband would not like that either. Also, why is she letting you pay for all these lunches if she knows you are attracted to her?
Maybe she is attracted to you. Or just taking advantage of you for free lunches, or product discounts, or maybe she is lonely. Either way, I think you should sever personal ties immediately - for the sake of your job, and out of respect for her marriage and children.
I find it strange that an older married woman spends so much time texting and going out with a younger lesbian who has told her she was "very attracted to her." Most happily married women that age (and I am one) would run from that, not encourage it.
And the fact that the husband secretly sought out your boss to tell him to make you stop.... The whole scenario doesn't add up... Why didn't the husband just ask the wife about it? Why is the woman/mother texting you, a lesbian, all the time? It is similar to her texting a young 28 y.o. guy who is hot for her - the husband would not like that either. Also, why is she letting you pay for all these lunches if she knows you are attracted to her?
Maybe she is attracted to you. Or just taking advantage of you for free lunches, or product discounts, or maybe she is lonely. Either way, I think you should sever personal ties immediately - for the sake of your job, and out of respect for her marriage and children.
I had the first reply coming...but its ok. I'm a good, professional worker and never use company money for my own expense to get someone. It is a little odd to me and that's why I'm on here asking for some advice and input. I have admitted my attraction to her because I knew nothing was going to make of it and I would've rather been her friend than not, which I thought was the case. Someone my communication with her is making her husband very uncomfortable. Like I said I went through all my text messages to find anything that would set him off to snoop around. But I found nothing extreme except casual conversation. I paid for everything because that's just my personality and who I am,. It wasn't like she never offered to pay and she did she try. It was merely a few lunches and nothing more. It wasn't like she left her kids to hang out with me..it was whenever she had time, but our first lunch together was 4 hours and when I realize I actually liked her.
Why the husband sought out the boss? Because we had all been acquainted ever since I became her friend. Believe me I didn't want to homewreck anything or disrespect her marriage. Her husband should feel lucky he's married to such a beautiful woman. Im just sad I lost a friend...
in my professional experience often gay friends are hoping their straight friends will "reassess" their position.
I think I agree with that.
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. Wonder what the poor kids would think about their family being broken apart.
