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Talk to the other spouses that are bored out of their minds too, just make conversation with them, ya never know, you might find some interesting friends. Maybe get to know them a little better and then you always know a few people to hang with at future events........
If I don't know anyone and/or don't feel like talking I always hang out by the food and drinks, well actually, I always hang out there, but anyway, you'll never get lonely over there
on another note..... don't stand under any misteltoe's like another member on here did remember that guy???
I agree with mjb68
Talk to the other folks that are in your same situation.
Thats what I will be doing next Thursday evening. This is a managers only party Oh joy
The only difference is this party is held at one of the managers houses. That we have been to many times for parties. Last year I entertained myself watching everyone get sillier the more they drank, want to guess who is the DD in our twosome
I found the owners cat up on the buffet table "testing to make sure everything was yummy" , I told the managers husband and then told hubby "do not eat anything we will stop on the way home"
I have found from other parties that one person likes to garden and one is into exercise so I pretty much hang out with them. I have also found when other hear our interesting non-work related conversation they tend to join.
Sigh now I have to go find something "holiday festive" to wear. I do not own 1 thing with a christmas tree or jingle belly stuff and this seems to be the popular item to wear to these things as I found out last year.
If thoses parties are good for DH's career and it's only a few hours out of your life, the right thing would be to suck it up and smile pretty while the group carries on. You can try to connect with other spouses as well but I'm really surprised that this one night a year is so inconvenient for you.
And before anyone accuses me of being from the stone ages- I'm not. I just think that when you love someone and when you enjoy the fruits of their labor (salary), giving up one night out of 365 to support your spouse is not too much to ask. I'm a career woman and my SO attends my dinner every year too.
As I work for a governmental agency I don't have a Christmas Party so we go to hubby's. Years ago, I was lucky to sit with the other spouse that didn't know anybody and ended up having a great time with them.
We now make a point of "adopting" the new employees spouses.
We are now all friend outside of work, we've even form our own motorcycle group.
Use them to network for yourself!
I support my pookie in the work he does but lol I dread the office party his company has every year.
It normally at a decent restaurant and it usually the worker and their partners but ugh I do know these people that well for good conversation.
Sometimes what makes it worst is that they will talk about things that happen at work and of course not being there I cannot relate.
I know I am not alone since I see the other partners or dates sitting there just observing like I am but what can one who is outisder of a sort to do to make it more interesting?
How do you handle thexe events ?
You handle it like a lady...
1. People love to talk about themselves, so...you assert yourself and ask people about themselves....leading into conversation...
don't be intimidated, remember, always be a lady knowing, everyone there is exactly the same as you...your people, with different ideas and opinions. There are times to listen, and there are times to talk....when you are introduced to someone, always take a firm grip on their hand, and repeat their name as it is told to you....for instance...."Jeff...my pleasure...be confident...and smile...you can start off by giving a compliment, I love your tie, or your suit, or that shirt looks really nice on you. Ask them about their families...if they've started shopping yet? How many children, what are their ages...etc....
Do not talk about religion or politics...not at a business party and I'll tell you why....you do not know what those people believe...therefore, giving your opinion on those topics may unknowingly make things difficult for your hubby down the road...so avoid those topics and if they are bought up, don't give an opinion,,,,I always say, I'm on the fence and shrug....
Good luck and have fun, but whatever you do, do not drink so much....so that you always remain in control...and do not make a fool out of yourself...boy, could I tell you some stories there....hehe
Sometimes it can work opposite too. He can be too freakin' clingy. Last (and only) company party we went to (when we were married) he hung all over me like a dang python, I couldnt break away for even a few minutes to go socialize without him clinging to me like saran wrap. If I went for another drink, he'd follow like a lost pupppy. If I went to the table for some cake, he was right there, like some kind of secret service agent or something. And man, did he make it obvious that I was his wife, not a single conversation started without his making it clear who I was, at least once. It was at the point where I wanted to get into his face and tell him to 'back off!', his behaviour was beginning to agitate me and even the people there noticed his childish actions. It was totally the most unpleasant evening. I even tried breaking away and going outside to the parking lot by myself but he saw me and caught up, so I simply pretended I was going to the van for my other jacket. After that I chose not to go to any social event with him, which made him angry...but it was his choice to not want to go without me, too flipping bad, he could have gone. Anyone else would have!
Talk to the other spouses that are bored out of their minds too, just make conversation with them, ya never know, you might find some interesting friends. Maybe get to know them a little better and then you always know a few people to hang with at future events........
Exactly as above. As long as other spouses attend I see no reason for you to not spend time talking to them. Actually, I think that is pretty much the role of a spouse in this type of situation. No one expects you to know all that has happened around the office, but you can make small talk and work on learning about the spouses of your husband's co-workers and managers.
I've had role-reversal more than once where I attended my wife's office parties - personally I enjoy them and seek out interesting conversation. Typically I spend time talking to everyone but only really connect with a few of the people in an evening. You'd be surprised what you can learn about a person via their spouse - you'd be surprised how interesting someone who've you've only heard secondhand about via your spouse can be. LOL, nothing like meeting the a-hole at your spouses work you've heard so much about
To the OP - Really if you feel so terribly uncomfortable making small talk and meeting new people (just a sense I have) then perhaps it would be best for you to stay home. I know not everyone is ok in the type of social situations being discussed - some people get extreme social anxiety, others are just not good at making small-talk. If you're not going to (or won't have the ability to) make conversation with strangers, then by all means you should let your spouse know and find a way to ditch out gracefully. It won't reflect positively if you're the only spouse who is a no-show to the party, but then again it won't reflect as negatively as it perhaps might if you show up but come across as anti-social or uninterested. Just my two cents... good luck with whatever you decide
Talk to the other spouses that are bored out of their minds too, just make conversation with them, ya never know, you might find some interesting friends. Maybe get to know them a little better and then you always know a few people to hang with at future events........
I agree 100%
My husband had his first holiday party last year with his new department. I (after having 2 drinks to relax me a little--very awkward socially, I am) made conversation with one of the other wives by talking about how all the men were talking about work at a party. An hour later, I'd been introduced to pretty much every single other wife at the party because of this woman. (She apparently was the social director of the wives, and I had no clue.)
Now, she is who I make a beeline for at any gathering we have. Find one person who is not a coworker of your spouse and befriend them. It'll make going to events like this a lot less painful!!
pirate girl and mbuszu both have excellent points. On the one hand, do you want your spouse to be on the hot seat for going to the party alone? Or, would your going be a liability? Whichever will be less, do that.
I hate crowds, it would be hard for me to go, but I would, to support the cause (familial harmony), and to challenge myself to make a new acquaintance or hear some gossip or whatever.
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remember that guy???
but he saw me and caught up, so I simply pretended I was going to the van for my other jacket. After that I chose not to go to any social event with him, which made him angry...but it was his choice to not want to go without me, too flipping bad, he could have gone. Anyone else would have!
