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I think saying "Only people who truly love each other should get married" is a better way of saying it. But truly loving each other is the bare minimum requirement for making it work. Love doesn't pay the mortgage, after all.
Yep, if you marry some broke bum or someone who is insane it doesn't matter how much you love them you will be miserable.
But the thing is it should be the responsibility of the two parents to support them, no one else. Yes the kids are innocent but it was the choice of the parents to have them. The only selfish people are the parents for not dealing with their issues without anyone else.
I would bet there are many guys who aren't paying the support money for their children, who tell their girlfriends, "I don't have any kids".
But do you really love her? I wonder going by your posts. I believe you can do much better than a woman who refuses to work a full time job and instead relies on welfare. That's just me though and if it works for you then good.
I understand what you are saying. I really do love her. But I wouldn't marry someone who already had a large family of kids before she met me. I never married and I never had any kids. But the only way I would have ever married would have been in a way so that I could have my own kids with the spouse and start a family of my own. Basically, I would have only wanted a marriage whereas both the spouse and me would have been the biological parents of all of our kids.
I am, as I may have mentioned here before, the product of a union between 2 single parents...the earth didn't open up and swallow them when they got together...in fact they STAYED married for over 50 years before passing away within four years of each other
Thanks for sharing. My father was a police officer and was killed in the line of duty when I was 7. He left a wife and 4 very young children alone. Thank God another man came along and was willing to become part of our family.
I understand what you are saying. I really do love her. But I wouldn't marry someone who already had a large family of kids before she met me. I never married and I never had any kids. But the only way I would have ever married would have been in a way so that I could have my own kids with the spouse and start a family of my own. Basically, I would have only wanted a marriage whereas both the spouse and me would have been the biological parents of all of our kids.
I truly wish you the best of luck and it looks like you have your head on straight.
People, stay on topic and knock it off with the personal attacks, or this thread will be closed. Some posts have been deleted.
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The thing is if you marry a single parent it could happen. Even if you don't marry them, there's things like holiday gifts or dates.
I want to make sure I understand what you just said.
If you were dating a man and you loved him... and presumably, you had some degree of affection toward his kids...
You wouldn't want to buy them Christmas presents?
Damn. I'd buy Christmas gifts for kids I didn't even know.
And have.
I don't get it. I married a guy who had never had kids... come to think of it, I had my eldest when I was single and 22 and I don't recall anyone I dated (or my ex husband) having been fathers. I didn't discriminate... no... wait... there was one guy who had kids that I dated... just turned out that way, I never looked for childfree dudes. I guess they just happened to come my way.
Anyway... my point being... who cares?
Keep your money separate if you worry about your cash going to a greedy ex, but the kids? Geez.
That's harsh.
I'm glad my experience as a single mom dating men who didn't have kids never included people who begrudged my kid a dinner out or a gift at the holidays.
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