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In my experience, the men who end up with women with horrible personalities are usually those who value looks above any other consideration. As long as she's "hot," some guys will put up with almost anything.
Why is that?
No amount of hotness in any woman can overcome the fact that she's a bitchy shrew. So why do men put up with this? What am I missing?
For the same reason women lust after good looking jerks.
lol. Point taken.
FOr many women who date these guys, however, there is a savior complex involved. They have some (?cultural-taught) delusion that they can change these men.
I could be wrong, but I don't think the same is true, vice versa.
Men do not like naggy witchy women, nobody does. I have a few on my job and they are very unpopular to say the least. You almost scared to say good morning to them for fear of getting a piece bitten out you.
This is sort of a reverse take on the oft-discussed premise that "Women like jerks, not nice guys".
Do you think there is any truth here?
Men seem to complain about women in relationships being bossy & emasculating. They may wonder where all the kind, sweet-natured women are. They blame feminism. They say nowadays, women try to act like men (whatever that means).
But are they choosing these naggy/witchy types of women?
Are they subconsciously drawn to them, initially at least?
Meanwhile, more patient, sweet women are not grabbing their attention & are being overlooked in favor of the more aggressive, confident woman who perhaps boosts their egos while dating, but then harps on them when in a relationship. Or something else?
Of course, in the original premise, we discover Nice Guys aren't so nice. We learn there is a false dichotomy.
So what could be going on with the "Sweet Woman" vs. "Witchy Woman" in terms of what men say they want & who they actually date/marry?
Spoiler
Disclaimer: I'm not stating this as a truth, nor is this necessarily my belief/stance. Just an idea to discuss.
Well, I don't really agree with the premise - just like I don't really agree with the jerk/nice guy premise. First of all, different people are attracted to different things. There are plenty of sweet women in relationships. As for the witchy, naggy women - here are my thoughts.
1. Some men will overlook anything for a hot woman.
2. Some men turn women into nags because they don't do anything and then complain when their wife gets onto them for not doing anything - instead of actually doing something.
3. Some women hide their witchy, naggy ways until they've gotten far enough into the relationship to unleash their true personalities.
4. Some men act like their wives are naggy even when they aren't just to get out of doing things that they don't want to do with their friends.
and the list goes on and on and on and on…
Oh - and just with the whole "nice guy" thing - being a nice person is the bare minimum. You can be nice and sweet - but if that's all you are - many guys may want something more out of a relationship.
No amount of hotness in any woman can overcome the fact that she's a bitchy shrew. So why do men put up with this? What am I missing?
They've bought into a narrative that says looks are all-important.
But most importantly, many men do not perceive themselves as having any choice in the matter. They don't understand that placing such a high value on looks is, in fact, a learned behavior. In their minds, they have no control over their so-called "preferences," and cannot help who they are attracted to, so they think they just have to put up with it.
I think men (and women) are attracted to the "Witchy" ones at some point (and women the jerks) because there is something exciting about having an up and down romance. There's something passionate about dating someone who really sets you off sometimes.
HOWEVER, that is not a long term thing, and that is not something most people desire out of a life partner. It's best to get out of your system while young (summer flings, first loves, etc).
My boyfriend is not a jerk, completely respects me, and has never really raised his voice. I plan on marrying this man.
When I was younger, I thought I'd marry a guy like my ex because our "connection" was so passionate. Now I'm just learning that it was "passionate" because the emotions were so high and so low. It's exhausting after a few years.
So, I think attraction works a certain way, but as people mature and think about what they actually want in a life partner, they end up wanting to marry the nice guys/gals
I like a well balanced woman. My wife is a fine example.
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