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Its just that women did not find him interesting and could not relate with him on one on one. Even if women got to know him they would be turned off due to a disconnect. Again this is part of my observation. Also guys need to stop being less introverted. Women in general like very social extroverted men.
It's probably his personality then. Which still has nothing to do with beliefs and interests. That was simply my point. Not sure what him being atheist or the other one being spiritual and knowing fashion, oh and having no job or money, had anything to do with being relateable.
Please men. Just be who you are. I sure as hell don't want a very social extrovert (and Bronx, you're using the terms incorrectly, you can have very social introverts too). Or at least act like what you want. The minute you change who you are, you will attract a different type of person, but do you want that type of person?
I forced myself to be more outgoing and caught the eye of a lot more outgoing men. Problem was, being outgoing drained me and when my true self came out, the guys were bored, because they HAD to go out all the time. I can't keep up with social butterflies, so I stay away from them.
That's part of my problem im kinda quiet and shy around people i dont know and dotn know what to talk about amongst strangers,even amongst good friends i open up but im not one of these people who can talk for hours and hours i dont think theyres that much stuff to talk about..i get bored after awhile
As i said though i do open up once i get close to you and trust you plus when i know somebody i can draw on things to talk about that i know about that person or something i can say that i know that perosn would relate to or know about about as opposed to strangers i dont know..
But its hard to meet women that way because you usually only get a few minutes to make an impression and be entertaining and/or interesting and thats not my strength at all..
This is when you ask questions about them and continue with follow up questions. I hate doing it, i'm like you, but when necessary I just make the conversation all about them. Most people will start to ask questions back and then the conversation gets easier. I wouldn't be able to sustain an hours and hours long conversation with someone I don't really know either...unless we just clicked.
I think that people with good social skills probably prefer partners with good social skills as well. It's hard to get to know someone or even carry on a conversation with them if you have good social skills and they do not. I think it's probably even hard to overcome this with really good looks.
Men are different. Some men who are out going conversationalists do not mind being with women who don't have good social skills. Its different for women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick
It's probably his personality then. Which still has nothing to do with beliefs and interests. That was simply my point. Not sure what him being atheist or the other one being spiritual and knowing fashion, oh and having no job or money, had anything to do with being relateable.
Please men. Just be who you are. I sure as hell don't want a very social extrovert (and Bronx, you're using the terms incorrectly, you can have very social introverts too). Or at least act like what you want. The minute you change who you are, you will attract a different type of person, but do you want that type of person?
I forced myself to be more outgoing and caught the eye of a lot more outgoing men. Problem was, being outgoing drained me and when my true self came out, the guys were bored, because they HAD to go out all the time. I can't keep up with social butterflies, so I stay away from them.
Not all introverts are not social, some introverts are social, but generally speaking introverts probably do go out as much as lets say an extrovert. I don't think I used a term incorrectly, you just don't agree with me which is cool.
Men are different. Some men who are out going conversationalists do not mind being with women who don't have good social skills. Its different for women.
I'm sure there are some women and some men with good social skills that don't mind dating someone with out good social skills but it's not the norm - and I don't think this has anything to do with gender. And when I talk about social skills - I'm not talking about being outgoing.
Not all introverts are not social, some introverts are social, but generally speaking introverts probably do go out as much as lets say an extrovert. I don't think I used a term incorrectly, you just don't agree with me which is cool.
How social you are has nothing to do with being an ex/introvert. Maybe that's what you're saying. I guess I'm just not getting your posts since they're filled with things that don't need to be a part of it. Like interest in the empathy post and being ex/introverted in relation to being social. Oh well. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
UOTE=Dewdrop93;34095825]I'm sure there are some women and some men with good social skills that don't mind dating someone with out good social skills but it's not the norm - and I don't think this has anything to do with gender. And when I talk about social skills - I'm not talking about being outgoing.[/quote]
I'd agree. No matter if the person is a total loner, he'd better know how to act in public and be somewhat okay in social situations.
It's probably his personality then. Which still has nothing to do with beliefs and interests. That was simply my point. Not sure what him being atheist or the other one being spiritual and knowing fashion, oh and having no job or money, had anything to do with being relateable.
Please men. Just be who you are. I sure as hell don't want a very social extrovert (and Bronx, you're using the terms incorrectly, you can have very social introverts too). Or at least act like what you want. The minute you change who you are, you will attract a different type of person, but do you want that type of person?
I forced myself to be more outgoing and caught the eye of a lot more outgoing men. Problem was, being outgoing drained me and when my true self came out, the guys were bored, because they HAD to go out all the time. I can't keep up with social butterflies, so I stay away from them.
That's nice and all. Until you realize that it has gotten you nothing.
That's nice and all. Until you realize that it has gotten you nothing.
You're right. Because women love and stay with men who fake who they truly are.
Most people can't change their personality, it's not easy. You can fake it, but usually the truth comes out and the woman no longer likes the person you truly are. I guess if you're fine with that or can actually change yourself, more power to you.
I can't put my finger on this idea so I thought I would just throw it out there. When I read posts from guys who have a tough time in the dating arena there is a consistent pattern of an inability for both men and women in the real world to relate to them.
For example, maybe their whole world revolves around online message boards or things like Reddit. Maybe they play video games on their free time. Maybe they watch Japanese cartoons all the time. Maybe they read comic books or fantasy novels or science fantasy novels. Activities which the vast majority of people cannot relate to in the real world.
Is this a correct observation? Would the solution be to become more relate-able? What say you?
Hmm. It's not really relateability.
I can't even count how many women have rejected me who said I was really easy to talk to. Okay, I can count. It's probably around 10 or so in my life.
What I will say is that women like men with a certain type of sense of humor. Either the really confident sexual type of humor (Vince Vaughan, Swingers) or the Steven Colbert sense of humor.
Like 50% of women fall for one, and 50% for the other. Basically if you're a guy who sits around and plays video games and you like movies like Dumb and Dumber and Old School and stuff, you get no points.
It'll be really hard to beat the macho guys and the witty guys and it's very difficult to learn that stuff if you didn't grow up with that persona.
I can't even count how many women have rejected me who said I was really easy to talk to. Okay, I can count. It's probably around 10 or so in my life.
What I will say is that women like men with a certain type of sense of humor. Either the really confident sexual type of humor (Vince Vaughan, Swingers) or the Steven Colbert sense of humor.
Like 50% of women fall for one, and 50% for the other. Basically if you're a guy who sits around and plays video games and you like movies like Dumb and Dumber and Old School and stuff, you get no points.
It'll be really hard to beat the macho guys and the witty guys and it's very difficult to learn that stuff if you didn't grow up with that persona.
Old School is one of my favorite movies. Dumb and Dumber - not so much.
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