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I don't have the same taste as my friends, so even if they have nice husbands/boyfriends, I don't look at the man & think he's anyone I'd want (and it's kind of wrong to do that anyway).
But a couple cases that strike me:
- Friend in her early 20s meets guy around the same age through friends. She tells him she's not ready for a relationship but likes him, which of course makes him pursue her. They get married about a year later. He's smart, nice, shares her values/interests/goals/etc, goes with her physically (they both have cute faces, both short & a tad chubby), is a stylish dresser, has a good job, blah blah blah. He's good to her too & their personalities mesh well. I'd say she got exactly what she wants.
- Hairdresser tells me that about a year before she met her husband a "life coach" advised her to write down everything she wants in a man & to meditate on it (seriously! ). So not too long after she meets her future husband. Pretty similar to the above as far as him being smart, nice, treating her well, etc, but he's significantly better looking than her (she's cute at best, he's very good looking). I think they dated about 2 years before marrying. I'd say she got exactly what she wants also.
- Family friend in her mid-40s marries man literally half her age (met through her adult child). She kept telling him he was too young, but I guess he was relentless. He looks kinda old for his age & she looks quite young, so after the first 10 years the gap totally closed in terms of looks. This is remarkable because they are one of those couples that seem perfect for each other, so that the age difference is easy to forget. He treats her like GOLD. He gazes at her adoringly & they've been married 15+ years. I'd say she's lucky because of that.
Who is the "luckiest" female friend you know who landed the awesome guy? And how did she do it?
I wouldn't call my friend's husband "awesome", but he's her fourth husband and the one who has treated her best.
First marriage was her high school boyfriend. A psycho who would be hauled off to the county mental hospital from time to time, a couple of suicide attempts, violent encounters in their relationship, the usual details about these types of people we've all met She was divorced from him by 22.
Then she met another guy, a salesman, who talked big but was a bs artist. He was also a big cokehead. Eventually he straightened up and became involved with a church. After more than a decade of living together, they got married, and two months after that he dropped dead of a heart attack.
Within a year she became pregnant via a man she was dating but hadn't known that long, and they decided to marry. She was in her late thirties and knew this was probably her last shot at motherhood. The man was a true alcoholic, albeit one with some money and who supported her, which the first two never did. He was abusive and controlling and she divorced him when her son was around five years old.
Then friends introduced her to No. 4. He's a nice enough guy, nothing exciting, but she's had enough "excitement". He works hard, isn't addicted to anything, and he spent more time and paid more attention to her son than the kid's actual father did. The father would just pick up the kid when he needed him as a prop for a family wedding or other event. It was the stepfather who went to all the kid's ballgames and took him fishing and whatnot.
The alcoholic ex died of a heart attack when the boy was about ten. Life has gone on for my friend, her son, and her current husband as a family. She seems happy, and I'm happy for her.
It has nothing to do with luck, and men are not fish.
Sing it!
It's not luck. It's the willingness to be the best person you can be, even if that requires working on yourself and your own flaws. It's also knowing the difference between the must-haves (law-abiding, non-violent, loyal person with values close to yours and with whom you laugh and love more than fight) and the nice-to-haves (ripped body, hot career, money). Finally, it's also the willingness to pick battles, not sweat the small stuff, ask for forgiveness, and forgive.
Attracting people is nothing. Anyone who is height-weight proportionate, has good hygiene, doesn't walk around dressed like a schlub, and is not butt-ugly can attract people very easily. It's having your priorities straight, interacting with someone, and forming a connection with the person over time that is the tricky part.
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). So not too long after she meets her future husband. Pretty similar to the above as far as him being smart, nice, treating her well, etc, but he's significantly better looking than her (she's cute at best, he's very good looking). I think they dated about 2 years before marrying. I'd say she got exactly what she wants also.
