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Haha, it is funny but it isn't at the same time! Just to clarify, I'm not looking to date this guy. I really, really enjoy his company but I've never had a sexual interest in him. I'm just curious to find out if my gaydar is actually completely wrong or not.
Haha, it is funny but it isn't at the same time! Just to clarify, I'm not looking to date this guy. I really, really enjoy his company but I've never had a sexual interest in him. I'm just curious to find out if my gaydar is actually completely wrong or not.
The only person that knows for sure is him - and he might not even know. Some people are raised in such a way that they can't even admit to themselves that they are gay.
My gaydar is pretty good but there have been some straight guys that I would have sworn were gay - and to this day, they are still straight. Some guys are just more effeminate - just like some really "butch" (for lack of a better term) women are straight.
Unfortunately the collateral damage is often the children they have with women who don't know these guys are not straight.
Yes, well the women are damaged by it too and pretty badly. Imagine the shock of your spouse of 23 years just up and leaving one day to go be with men. It's hard to trust anyone or anything after that one.
There was almost nothing that tipped me off either as I don't think he was actually going out on me, except a couple of times toward the end. Sex was quite regular--every other night, so that was not a clue. He said he married me b/c he wanted a family but after he came out he was done with us--paid child support but made only token efforts to see his daughters.
Yes, well the women are damaged by it too and pretty badly. Imagine the shock of your spouse of 23 years just up and leaving one day to go be with men. It's hard to trust anyone or anything after that one.
There was almost nothing that tipped me off either as I don't think he was actually going out on me, except a couple of times toward the end. Sex was quite regular--every other night, so that was not a clue. He said he married me b/c he wanted a family but after he came out he was done with us--paid child support but made only token efforts to see his daughters.
"child support but made only token efforts to see his daughters"
Thats the sad part.
He must have been a really horny guy or had a great imagination to achieve a full erection with a woman if he was primarely interested in men. some of the other women here who have been in the same position said their guys were not always able to get there, even when the men were in their early 20s with raging hormones.
Haha, it is funny but it isn't at the same time! Just to clarify, I'm not looking to date this guy. I really, really enjoy his company but I've never had a sexual interest in him. I'm just curious to find out if my gaydar is actually completely wrong or not.
If you think him making out with you or stroking your hair means he's not gay, your gaydar is faulty.
I've made out with quite a few gay guys. Good friends of mine. In dance clubs and the like.
Kissing is fun.
Does not make those beautiful boys straight.
My rule: if a dude seems gay? He is. No matter how much he makes out with you.
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Listen to the women here who have had this issue, as it is really quite common.
I'm sure many of these men really are struggling with their identity and may not come to terms with it for years if ever. Is it their fault or the fault of society? Apparently, even in our non-judgemental new open society, men and I'm sure a few women want to have a conventional male/female relationship especially with respect to children and family. If he has a male love interest on the side, all the better. He has his wife and children to take care of the family need and he has the lover on the side to take care of his sexual needs. He has it all!
Unfortunately the collateral damage is often the children they have with women who don't know these guys are not straight.
My daughter still doesn't know--she's too young to understand. She thinks her dad is just good friends with another man. But she's getting older and asking questions. She's also just learning about what gay is. She saw them kissing once and got very, very upset--was crying to me in confusion. I told her that I wasn't there and that she'd need to talk to her dad about it (I did give him a heads up though about what she saw and being upset so he could think of a good way to talk to her). I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to come across as attacking or judging her dad and I just didn't trust myself to explain it in a neutral way. After all, he's still her dad and I firmly believe it's harmful to children when their parents, even if divorced, attack or say "bad things" about each other. He said he talked to her about it and things seem okay for now. Although she's starting to ask me why he and I can't be married again--which again, I can't really explain. Someday she will understand though.
A few days later, things had calmed down. I came over after work and he was asleep. I lit candles, put on some super romantic music (anyone remember Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson?)
...the closer I get to you. The more you make me see (how gay you are).
You know I can't muster up an opinion about this, one way or another.
I like a guy right now who wears a bunch of crystals around his neck and shaves his head but I don't think he's gay.
Or maybe he is.
Maybe he's just happy. I don't care either way as long as he puts out in an acceptable manner and is a nice guy too.
It's just a label really.
ps when i was much, much younger i had a bf who I personally was convinced was gay. He was into ballet and running and dancing and dressed and talked and posed like a ....anyway he wasn't gay, maybe transexual? but not gay. He liked vaginas.
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. some of the other women here who have been in the same position said their guys were not always able to get there, even when the men were in their early 20s with raging hormones.
I don't care either way as long as he puts out in an acceptable manner and is a nice guy too. 
