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Old 04-29-2014, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Idaho
6,358 posts, read 7,770,912 times
Reputation: 14188

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"I'm sorry. You seem like a nice guy. I've come to realize that I am not emotionally ready to start dating and it was a mistake putting up a profile on 'find-love-here.com'. I can't date you, or date anybody, right now and I don't know when I'll be ready. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I wish you luck in your quest in finding somebody with which you are compatible."
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,935,956 times
Reputation: 16643
"it's not you, it's me"
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:49 AM
 
1,769 posts, read 1,234,227 times
Reputation: 3575
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I've made plans with family and friends--including some out of town trips ("girls night out" weekends at the beach, etc).
this is awesome. have fun!
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:54 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,416,366 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
This is just a bit of a vent... I suppose. Although I welcome ideas and advice.

Okay, I started OLD about two months ago as a way to get over a broken heart and stopped OLD about a month ago. So yeah, I was online for a whopping month, lol. In that time I contacted a few men online, but one in particular (after we exchanged messages) told he told me he was going to be away for a while and I told him I would be leaving online soon, and he asked for my number so he could contact me when he was back. So I gave it to him thinking like most of the men who ask for a number, he wouldn't call and forgot about it. I also decided to take a break from dating in general as well--realizing I am just not ready for it right now.

This past weekend, the man I gave my number to called me. We talked for about 30 minutes until I eventually got him off the phone (I could tell he felt like talking more, but I didn't want to). We discussed meeting to talk in person, but we couldn't work out a time in the next three weeks (I have a regular 9-5 schedule, but he has a weird schedule and lives a couple of hours away). So now he seems pretty enthusiastic and wants to talk on the phone between now and then. He's also messaged me every day for the past three days.

Honestly, I am just not into it. Not him so much as the idea of dating in general. I've run into too many jerks, crazies, and users and it's emotionally exhausting. Maybe if I met him earlier, I would have given it a go, but I just don't want to date right now or get to know him. And to be fair, the time and distance thing with his crazy schedule stinks too--even if I gave it a chance, when are we going to go out? Once a month?

I don't think it's fair to him to be half hearted about all this--it's wasting his time (as well as mine).
It just sucks he seems to excited about it all. I wonder if he'd be willing to set a date in three or four weeks when we can both meet and just wait until then to talk more (or is that weird). Who knows, maybe I will be over being burnt out by then.

But you know, I think I should just be straight forward and tell this man that I am sorry, but I am not dating right now due to being burnt out on it. I just wish I could think of a nicer way to put it so he doesn't think he's done something other than have bad timing. And I hate to rain on his parade (he seemed so enthusiastic when talking to me). To use the cliche, it's really me, not him. I am burnt out on it.
You can always tell him the schedule conflict doesn't work for you, and you enjoyed being able to talk to him but you realize you're not ready to date anyone and need some time off for yourself.
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Old 04-29-2014, 01:23 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,672,717 times
Reputation: 3523
I think this thread is very clear "I'm not interested in dating right now". That is very clear - I think it's best to have this approach be nice of course sounds like you are and don't over explain. Just keep it simple. Always be true to yourself first . To thy own self be true.
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