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Technically the easiest way is online. You can sit in your bed with a bag of doritos in your underwear, watch a movie and click random profiles. You find a hot girl, write 3 sentences and you're done. It doesn't get much easier than that.
If people put less effort into approaching women in public, it would actually be easier and more successful. The problem is, they get all worked up and try too hard when they're talking and they look desperate.
^^ exactly. Even if that person is naturally confident and is quick on his/her feet. The in the moment part can be a real killer.
Most of what you call "random approaches" aren't random at all. They are based on your own objectives for, and experience with, first contacts with the opposite (or same) sex. Second, the objective of these approaches is simply to make a first contact, conceptually no different than the first time you say hi to a girl in a biology class. Mostly, it's a sorting exercise. Third, the method is quick and if it does end up in a higher %age of rejections, the probability of starting a relationship of some kind can be increased by simply making more of these contacts. Since they require relatively little effort, they don't take much time. Finally, as more than one poster has noted, the success of these contacts depends very much on your personality, for example how confident and relaxed you are.
My experience was always that this was a fruitful way of meeting people in laundromats, on buses, in stores, at shows and sporting events, even circuses (good place to find single mothers who love their chiuldren).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89
My experience was always that this was a fruitful way of meeting people in laundromats, on buses, in stores, at shows and sporting events, even circuses (good place to find single mothers who love their chiuldren).
Most of what you call "random approaches" aren't random at all. They are based on your own objectives for, and experience with, first contacts with the opposite (or same) sex. Second, the objective of these approaches is simply to make a first contact, conceptually no different than the first time you say hi to a girl in a biology class. Mostly, it's a sorting exercise. Third, the method is quick and if it does end up in a higher %age of rejections, the probability of starting a relationship of some kind can be increased by simply making more of these contacts. Since they require relatively little effort, they don't take much time. Finally, as more than one poster has noted, the success of these contacts depends very much on your personality, for example how confident and relaxed you are.
My experience was always that this was a fruitful way of meeting people in laundromats, on buses, in stores, at shows and sporting events, even circuses (good place to find single mothers who love their chiuldren).
The way some guys struggle to overcome their reticence, you'd never know random approaches require relatively little effort. What's been written on that on C-D alone could fill a book.
We live in a competitive, individualistic society. What is more uncouth and degrading, than to be handed something that by proper course one ought to garner for oneself? We revel in the fond belief that everything that we enjoy, we attained by personal initiative and labor; witness the uproar in the 2012 election cycle over the "you didn't build it" misquote. In truth, most of what we attempt to build, actually fails. And most of what we possess that endures, we didn't build.
Cold-approach is the ultimate narrative of spunk and initiative, of self-reliance. It has a tantalizing draw. But how often it is true?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh
Honestly, if it weren't for cold approaching, some guys (due to bad luck and career choice, among other things), would almost never have the chance for contact with women outside of the base friendly day to day business encounters.
Good point. Some of us live and work in environments where (a) nearly everyone is already married, and (b) nearly everyone is male.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
i would compare it to public speaking. it is easy - you aren't digging ditches or nailing shingles to a roof - but it can also be very stressful.
In my teens I sorely dreaded public speaking. What could I possibly have to say, that's of any importance? Why should the audience not jeer and dismiss me with revulsion? Gradually I realized that nobody has anything to say, that most speeches are just a means of passing the time before the refreshments-cart appears, that most audiences are too apathetic to jeer. This was incredibly liberating. Now I enjoy public speaking, doing it reasonably well. I speak not to the audience, but to the empty room that the audience happens to occupy.
But approaching women has remained inveterately difficult.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz
Bottom line, things that involve recreation are usually the one's where your odds are better.
Very true. Those of us, for whom human contact is limited primarily to business, are going to be at a disadvantage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
...if I saw a man in a Captain America tee-shirt and a man in a generic/no personality business suit, I am going for the man in the the tee shirt because I can start talking to him about Winter Solider or something. Gives me an easy "in" to start conversation.
Interesting… I'm the slightly disheveled guy in the suit which needs ironing, which was tailored but not very well, who is staring at something intently, half like a sage and half like an idiot, behaving as if the sky's aglow with global thermonuclear holocaust, and the buzz of pervading radiation has just started to tickle the skin. Perhaps this is why I don't get approached, or initiate the approach myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
Hey! I just got a sudden inspiration to get a tee shirt that says, "Random Woman... friendly to approach."
I'm going to start wearing a red kerchief around my neck, like pure-bred German Shepherds ready to stud. It will smartly complement my suit.
In my teens I sorely dreaded public speaking. What could I possibly have to say, that's of any importance? Why should the audience not jeer and dismiss me with revulsion? Gradually I realized that nobody has anything to say, that most speeches are just a means of passing the time before the refreshments-cart appears, that most audiences are too apathetic to jeer. This was incredibly liberating. Now I enjoy public speaking, doing it reasonably well. I speak not to the audience, but to the empty room that the audience happens to occupy.
But approaching women has remained inveterately difficult.
feelings are often unhelpful. in many situations, irrational confidence trumps rational defeatism.
feelings are often unhelpful. irrational confidence trumps rational defeatism.
I have to agree with you here. There are certain instances where a person should know their limits before letting themselves get into trouble.. but for the most part a person with irrational confidence will be better off than a person who struggles with self esteem issues.
Take me for example. Huge run on sentence and I'm not even going to correct it.
I have to agree with you here. There are certain instances where a person should know their limits before letting themselves get into trouble.. but for the most part a person with irrational confidence will be better off than a person who struggles with self esteem issues.
Take me for example. Huge run on sentence and I'm not even going to correct it.
Take me for example. Huge run on sentence and I'm not even going to correct it.
Why fear commas?
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