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It's funny how there is no social stigma to unmarried couples and kids born out of wedlock in most Scandinavian countries. I guess progressive places aren't judgmental asses like the general masses in America
Well, I'm a devout Catholic--like really devout--and I just want to post another Catholic perspective. I don't think anyone is evil for having children unmarried or refusing to get married but I do think it is unwise. I also don't think the answer to any unwise decision is social stigma, alienation or what have you. I'm a big believer in progress, inclusiveness, and the general idea that American society now may have its problems but it is certainly better than any time in the past. In other words, if alienation and social stigma was a good thing we would still do it. I think what previous generations found is that to cause pain and suffering on others for unwise decision generally lead to a worse society as a whole. I think they also found that it really didn't deter behavior.
I disagree completely. I think that having parents that are married is what is best for children and that if you can't make a legal commitment to someone - you shouldn't raise children with them. However, stigmatizing people and "harshness" serves no purpose expect for people to try to make themselves feel superior to others.
Ok, I see your point.
But right now we sort of have this "anything goes" thing going on (at least with a large segment of society). And clearly, it's not working. And it's also clear that a lot of people are going to get mad about it when people stand up and say "This having kids without being married business isn't working. Not for the kids. Not for the parents, and not for society at large; and we will not just remain silent about it and allow it to continue without pointing out the facts of the matter". No matter how diplomatically that message is delivered, a lot of people are going to get offended by it and call people all sorts of nasty names for saying it ("racist", "haters", "attacking single mothers", "mean-spirited", "not compassionate", "blaming the victim", fill in the blank______). People generally take the truth to be harsh when it runs counter to what they're doing.
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 05-13-2014 at 03:44 PM..
My country is predominantly Catholic but yet there are many illegitimate children there too. In fact many of my neighbors do. One particular Mexican telenovela-ish story is where a married woman has 2(?) kids from her extra marital affair. The husband knows but it appears he does not give a sh-it. They were still living together by the time I left the country.
And that couple already has 4(?) kids of their own. Talk about baby machine. I heard the father of the 2 bastards are supporting them.
I am not even disliking this kind of lifestyle for religious reason. I just feel sorry for the kids and morally it is so wrong in many levels.
It's funny how there is no social stigma to unmarried couples and kids born out of wedlock in most Scandinavian countries. I guess progressive places aren't judgmental asses like the general masses in America
No, it's because their way of life is different. People tend to know each other because they grew up in the same town, and relationships there tend to be (somewhat) more stable. The social context is different. Despite that, it's still far from ideal, IMO.
And it isn't about being judgmental. (I forgot to put that one on my list of epithets in my previous post). It's that having kids without being married JUST DOESN'T WORK on many different levels. For every exception anyone can point out, there are at least 9 others that didn't work out so well. That's really bad odds.
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 05-13-2014 at 03:52 PM..
I think what previous generations found is that to cause pain and suffering on others for unwise decision generally lead to a worse society as a whole. I think they also found that it really didn't deter behavior.
In this instance, that's plain wrong. Society (and children) as a whole are better off when children grow up in a home with 2 married parents. The evidence for that is now overwhelming. Even the liberal social sciences are pretty much admitting this is true. And it most certainly DID deter behavior. The out of wedlock birth rate has skyrocketed in the past 50 years.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
The "upper class"......in Branson?
Haha, have you ever been? I went through there for a day once. OMG. We went to Silver Dollar City, that was alright, but holy crud... it's like a big Christian blue hair... I don't even know what.... There are no words... buffet and Country revue assault? Fascinating place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by meaning
I heard the father of the 2 bastards are supporting them.
I just feel sorry for the kids and morally it is so wrong in many levels.
Nothing like calling the kids names when you feel badly for them! That will make em feel better!
In this instance, that's plain wrong. Society (and children) as a whole is better off when children grow up in a home with 2 married parents. The evidence for that is now overwhelming. Even the liberal social sciences are pretty much admitting this is true. And it most certainly DID deter behavior. The out of wedlock birth rate has skyrocketed in the past 50 years.
No, I'm not arguing whether a two parent home is best for children. I think it is. You will get no disagreement from me there. What I'm arguing against is a systematized and almost institutionalized shaming of people who for whatever reason don't have a two parent home.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger
In this instance, that's plain wrong. Society (and children) as a whole are better off when children grow up in a home with 2 married parents. The evidence for that is now overwhelming. Even the liberal social sciences are pretty much admitting this is true. And it most certainly DID deter behavior. The out of wedlock birth rate has skyrocketed in the past 50 years.
Where is there info (I sincerely don't know) about the outcomes of children from married two parent homes compared to the outcomes of children from unmarried two parent homes? Controlled for income, etc so that apples are compared to apples. Does that info exist?
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