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Have you ever had this happen? You pour your heart out to the object of your affections, telling them you don't expect them to respond or even feel the same way because right now you're just friends, and they say something like, "Oh, er, that's great but, you know, I don't feel the same way and I think we shouldn't have any more contact. Like ever." And suddenly you're dropped on FB and every other part of their life. Do you snap back with, "Well, obviously that person was a jerk who just didn't appreciate me!" or do you spend some time wallowing in your hurt and humiliation? Do you try to convince them it's okay not to feel the same way or give up on them as a bad idea and do your utmost to move on?
Just curious how people who've experienced this have handled it.
I would realize that I need to reflect on my thoughts and behaviors. and Understand why I fell for a guy who doesn't even care to keep contacts with me.
Have you ever had this happen? You pour your heart out to the object of your affections, telling them you don't expect them to respond or even feel the same way because right now you're just friends, and they say something like, "Oh, er, that's great but, you know, I don't feel the same way and I think we shouldn't have any more contact. Like ever." And suddenly you're dropped on FB and every other part of their life. Do you snap back with, "Well, obviously that person was a jerk who just didn't appreciate me!" or do you spend some time wallowing in your hurt and humiliation? Do you try to convince them it's okay not to feel the same way or give up on them as a bad idea and do your utmost to move on?
Just curious how people who've experienced this have handled it.
I've had something similar to that happen and I had no choice but to move on. There's nothing you can do about some people if that's their attitude and they just want to leave.
Sometimes you tell someone how you feel because that's when you want to. You shouldn't have to wait until the other person feels the same way just to make the other person happy. You're not living your life to make other people happy. You can't sacrifice your own happiness just to make someone have feelings for you.
Ive personaly experinced this..... do whats best for you and the other guy if that means never talking ever again then do it, or give it time for yourself to heal and talk about it maturely
That hasn't happened to me. I was always too afraid to tell guys I liked how I felt about them.
I have never told any guy how I felt, not completely, and I guess that is part of my problem. I was always afraid of coming on strong. I can imagine the pain is terrible, but it can't be any worse than not telling them and wondering what could've been, then you find out they are with someone else. It hurts, as I am dealing with that now.
I thought I was over him, but I wasn't. I am really angry at myself and I hate that I fall so deeply for people, I have no clue how to stop it. I tried everything, but it's just how my feelings work. It makes me wish I was numb and incapable of feeling anything, but I know that is not possible. I was angry at him at first but then I realized he didn't do anything. It was my fault for not telling him.
I lay awake wondering when I will stop torturing myself and actually feel true happiness one day. I fear that day will never come. It is truly a horrible feeling. I tried to compensate and move on but I haven't been very successful.
I am sorry this happened to you, I wish you the best in the future.
Have you ever had this happen? You pour your heart out to the object of your affections, telling them you don't expect them to respond or even feel the same way because right now you're just friends, and they say something like, "Oh, er, that's great but, you know, I don't feel the same way and I think we shouldn't have any more contact. Like ever." And suddenly you're dropped on FB and every other part of their life. Do you snap back with, "Well, obviously that person was a jerk who just didn't appreciate me!" or do you spend some time wallowing in your hurt and humiliation? Do you try to convince them it's okay not to feel the same way or give up on them as a bad idea and do your utmost to move on?
Just curious how people who've experienced this have handled it.
I did the only thing you can do.... "give up on them as a bad idea and do your utmost to move on."
Also, you might want to be careful about telling someone you love him or her. If you tell him or her too early, he or she is sure to jump ship on you. You can tell your family that you love them. If you believe in Christ, you can tell other believers that you love them. But I think people these days are way immature to understand Love.
Unfortunately, the problem is that Love has been dumbed down to the point that it has lost most of its meaning. When people think about Love, the first thing that comes to mind is the "Bow Chika Wah-Waaaah." Other thoughts such as sticking your neck out for that person or merely being there for that person when things get hard for him or her is either not thought about or not appreciated. There always has to be some ulterior motive to get in that person's pants. Then again, I was also guilty of that.
The thing with me is a lot of people that I Love, I am not even physically attracted to. But if something were to happen to them, it would devastate me.
So be careful who you "pour your heart out" to. A lot of people can't handle Love anymore. I personally wouldn't tell someone that I Love him or her until I know for sure that that person can handle it. You can still feel the Love and that person doesn't even have to know it. Maybe one day, they'll realize what they missed out on.
Deeper things like connection, a sense of belonging, etc. does not excite some people. Then for others, there are all of the nasty and disgusting acts that have been done in the name of Love. There's; "This person said that he Loved me and look at all the stuff he has done to hurt me.
Then there are plenty of other people that claim to Love someone and then do some really messed up things to scar her for life.
Love has really gotten a bad rap now that I think about it.
BTW, are you that person another thread talked about that told someone that he Loved her after a week of seeing her...?
That hasn't happened to me. I was always too afraid to tell guys I liked how I felt about them.
I have never told any guy how I felt, not completely, and I guess that is part of my problem. I was always afraid of coming on strong. I can imagine the pain is terrible, but it can't be any worse than not telling them and wondering what could've been, then you find out they are with someone else. It hurts, as I am dealing with that now.
I thought I was over him, but I wasn't. I am really angry at myself and I hate that I fall so deeply for people, I have no clue how to stop it. I tried everything, but it's just how my feelings work. It makes me wish I was numb and incapable of feeling anything, but I know that is not possible. I was angry at him at first but then I realized he didn't do anything. It was my fault for no telling him.
I lay awake wondering when I will stop torturing myself and actually feel true happiness one day. I fear that day will never come. It is truly a horrible feeling. I tried to compensate and move on but I haven't been very successful.
I am sorry this happened to you, I wish you the best in the future.
I'm sorry to hear that. It really is torture. I know for sure. I am dealing with another torture with a friend... I have to move on from that person.
a lot of empathy in this thread, it's a nice change from most of the other threads.
wouldn't it be great if only we could turn off our feelings and decide to stop loving someone
I have no advice to give, just wanted to say that I feel for you. It hurts bad to love someone and not have them love you back. Props to you for letting those feelings out instead of keeping them bottled up, they wouldv'e probably eat at you and make you feel even worse
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