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Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
11,329 posts, read 8,687,197 times
Reputation: 6392
Don't you think she's hot?
If so, hold your head up high, hold her hand or put your arm around her, let all the other Dudes be jealous of your hot woman... Be proud of her...
If your not proud of year .... Leave...
I just feel ridiculous trying to be affectionate, I feel weak and what not.
I hope you are at least faking being affectionate while being intimate.
Some humans are not very affectionate but it doesn't hurt to at least try to be a wee bit more affectionate.
Also, if you feel ridiculous being affectionate you are with the wrong woman.
Affection does not make one weak but not being affectionate can make one spend a lot of time alone.
I think you are doing a good job, in this thread, of talking about your feelings in a manly way.
You are able to say what you feel, and, just as important, you are able to look inside yourself, and at your history, and have an idea of why you feel the way you do. This is pretty good, for a 23 year old of any gender!
So don't be too down on yourself .
This is part of sexism -- sexism is bad for men, too. It teaches men that they have to suppress part of what makes them human, in order to be men. That's some f'd up shyte, when you think about it. Sounds like, with your family and school, you got a bigger dose of it than some men do.
I think you will be surprised how good it feels, when you reclaim the part of yourself that shows affection. I know it feels scary and weak at first. But the reality is, it takes strength and courage to show your girl and the world that you love her. And you can do it . The fact that you started this thread shows me you have the courage.
If you want to, you can tell your gf the stuff you said in this thread -- that it scares you, that you are afraid of feeling weak or of being made fun of. I bet she will feel deeply honored if you trust her with that.
OP, communication is very important to a woman. You have to be able to talk to a woman and find out the things that are important to her, her likes and dislikes. She has already expressed that you don't communicate enough, so perhaps you can start by being a better listener. By being a better listener, I mean acknowledge what she says, and offer feedback when needed. Doing that would alone would probably move mountains with her.
OTOH, I understand your apprehension to showing more affection. You don't want to feel weak. It's been my experience that sometimes women will say they want more of this and that, but when you give it to them, they lose interest. True women don't want a push-over or a doormat, but trust me, you can never go wrong by showing a woman how much you care about them.
a couple in which the man is not showing the woman the necessary affection
and a couple in which the woman is insecure and should work on that.
True but it's probably the first scenario
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