Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People aren't such unique snowflakes that they all have perfectly idiosyncratic personalities... I mean, come on. In fact, a lot of people's personalities consist mostly of things they heard off of TV or the Internet.
You can't be serious! I'm so glad I don't live in your world. You must be at an age where people don't have a lot of experience in the world, and their lives to date have consisted mainly of watching TV and dinking around the internet. Once you get through college, that changes, though more for some people than others.
But even in HS, people were pretty unique--different ethnic backgrounds and traditions, different socio-economic backgrounds, different upbringings and value systems, different academic interests and approaches to life, widely diverging family experiences... I don't know how one can see people as all the same, unless one simply isn't paying attention, or is from a very small, homogeneous community.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-01-2014 at 10:22 AM..
Like attracts like they say...if you have a healthy self confidence then you'll attract a similar person. But, I'm working on the self confidence - and have yet to notice that the kind of things I find attractive in another person are attracting that type to me.
As a matter of fact I think that societal pressures have a lot to do with it, what we find attractive has something to do with what the media tells us is attractive. No doubt there are plenty of people who think independently of the media, but I think most people fall into the habit of allowing influence.
It seems then that the only option available to those of us who aren't look alikes for the famous and beautiful people, is to be the best we are able to be and trust that we are enough.
Besides, not everyone is a sheeple, surely the person you'd want to attract can think for themselves and will be attracted to you because they genuinely like you.
That seems like a good deal to me, I'd rather have at least ONE guy who genuinely liked me, provided he is intelligent, capable, not psychotic and likes a lot of the same things I do so we can enjoy each others' company and have things in common: than say 6 guys who are just trying to go home with someone before last call...know what I mean?
People aren't such unique snowflakes that they all have perfectly idiosyncratic personalities... I mean, come on. In fact, a lot of people's personalities consist mostly of things they heard off of TV or the Internet. But if one of them has a sexy bedroom voice and the other has a high pitched whine, they're going to be received differently.
How we look is what definitively sets us apart from each other... superficiality applies to men and women equally, and if your only response is 'but I'm not like that' then I think you should explain why instead of getting all indignant.
I disagree. I think we are all unique. I think it's funny that you think our looks are what sets us apart - so our looks are unique but our personalities aren't? I was just thinking yesterday how amazing it is how different we all are. Life would be so boring if we were all the same.
We are all a combination of our outsides and our insides. Personally, I can't see one part of someone with out the other. I look at the total package. Sometimes an amazing inside makes the outside look better - and sometimes vice versa.
I disagree. I think we are all unique. I think it's funny that you think our looks are what sets us apart - so our looks are unique but our personalities aren't? I was just thinking yesterday how amazing it is how different we all are. Life would be so boring if we were all the same.
It's great that you think that, but I should point out that nothing you've said here even comes close to an original idea... much like most of the content of the rest of these threads, or conversations that people have with each other, or their interests, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
We are all a combination of our outsides and our insides. Personally, I can't see one part of someone with out the other. I look at the total package. Sometimes an amazing inside makes the outside look better - and sometimes vice versa.
I'm not making this up-- it's called the Halo Effect.
It's a real thing.
Is it really so hard to accept that people hold each other to different standards based on looks?
Is it really so hard to accept that people hold each other to different standards based on looks?
Fools do that, then come here to complain about cheaters, high-maintenance women, and so forth, ad infinitam. Wise people look deeper, and build their standards on lasting characteristics. Looks fade.
Fools do that, then come here to complain about cheaters, high-maintenance women, and so forth, ad infinitam. Wise people look deeper, and build their standards on lasting characteristics. Looks fade.
It's relative.
Older people's looks might fade compared to those of younger people, but if you land a hottie then when you're 60 you'll still have one of the best-looking 60 year olds out there.
Of course I don't mean that looks are the only thing that matter, just that they influence how we perceive each other and which characteristics we're more likely to assign to other people.
It's great that you think that, but I should point out that nothing you've said here even comes close to an original idea... much like most of the content of the rest of these threads, or conversations that people have with each other, or their interests, etc.
What are you talking about? You might as well point out that you don't know what color my shirt is. What does this have to do with anything?
Quote:
I'm not making this up-- it's called the Halo Effect.
It's a real thing.
Is it really so hard to accept that people hold each other to different standards based on looks?
Do looks influence people? Of course. Do I think I would have gotten nearly as much attention from men if I had looked differently? No. But that doesn't mean that looks are the ONLY reason men have been attracted to me - and that doesn't mean that looks are the ONLY reason I have been attracted to the men I've been attracted to. There have been men that I was not attracted to in the beginning - but once I got to know them, I was VERY attracted to them. Looks can influence how people are perceived - but so can certain aspects of your personality. A guy with a sharp, witty sense of humor can become more appealing.
Older people's looks might fade compared to those of younger people, but if you land a hottie then when you're 60 you'll still have one of the best-looking 60 year olds out there.
Dude, have you seen 60-year-old women who've spent their lives tanning and being all about their looks? It's scary! Leathery-looking face, prematurely aged. They tend to think they're all that, while people around 'em are cringing at the sight of 'em.
Marriage is forever, and when it isn't, it's about divorce, which involves your money. Be sure to have your values in the right place when you make that crucial choice, if you want to avoid pain down the road.
1st husband: 5'10", average build, blonde (now bald), and blue eyes. He didn't think he was anything to look at, but I thought he was attractive.
Ex, B: 6 ft, average build, green eyes, collar length, thinning hair. Most would say he's pretty average, but I thought he was very handsome and sexy.
Ex, R: 5'10", slender build, bright blue eyes, dark brown hair, goatee. Good-looking guy, but he thought he was average.
2nd husband: 6'2", athletic build, dark brown buzzed hair, hazel-ish eyes, olive complexion (pretty tan). He's probably one of few guys I've dated that has the more chiseled or "classic" good-looking features.
I'm pretty sure that people who say they are attracted to personality foremost never admit to themselves how much someone's superficial details influence their perception of that personality.
Two people could have the exact same sense of humor, but one is irritating and one is hilarious because of their voices.
Two people could have the exact same level of confidence, but one is grating and one is seductive because of the shape of their eyes.
Two people could have the same level of intelligence, but one is always being ignored and the other is lauded because one of them looks the part.
I don't think all women pursue the cliched 'handsome' guy, but you do have to be able to project an image and market yourself accordingly.
I think most, if not all women, place some priority on good looks (as do all men). The kicker is that "good looks" are dictated by individual taste and are wholly subjective, so one woman's handsome may be another woman's homely. I am reminded of this every time I hear another woman say that somebody like Vin Diesel is attractive, for instance.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
