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If a woman has had much better partners than you, you have a serious problem. Most people aren't that different from each other in that dept. It's more about attitude and willingness to please.
The second sentence I totally agree with. It's worked well for me over the years.
I rather never know how many sexual partners she had. I all ready know she have a lot more than me I just do not want to hear about it. If i did find out or she told me I would make it all about her . If she held it over my head than i sleep with her until a better GF came around if a female was holding my lack of sexual partners against me.
The question was not hypothetical in the sense of, "would you ask, or care to ask, or have a reason to ask" and this far all the responses have been answering that.
The question was, in short, if you KNEW, she had much better partners in her past, as a man, WOULD IT BOTHER YOU?
Talk about insecure, not one person has answered that. I believe for several reasons....you really don't care if you totally please your partner or not, it's about you, two, you are in denial.
It's really a simple question that does not warrant an outside the box analytical response. You're a man, you find out, by any means, you are not her best, does it bother you? Nothing to do with asking, or feeling insecure.
I am really trying to get your point of view here, but it's just so "out there".
Try to look at it this way...If a woman really loves a guy, he IS the best she's ever had, regardless of anything or anybody else she's ever been with, see?
Women don't rate men they care about. You will only ever hear derogatory comments about a past lover IF she no longer cares about that guy.
The question was not hypothetical in the sense of, "would you ask, or care to ask, or have a reason to ask" and this far all the responses have been answering that.
The question was, in short, if you KNEW, she had much better partners in her past, as a man, WOULD IT BOTHER YOU?
Talk about insecure, not one person has answered that. I believe for several reasons....you really don't care if you totally please your partner or not, it's about you, two, you are in denial.
It's really a simple question that does not warrant an outside the box analytical response. You're a man, you find out, by any means, you are not her best, does it bother you? Nothing to do with asking, or feeling insecure.
In your original post, you raise the issue by asking her how you compare to her previous partners. So if you hadn't asked, then you wouldn't know. Even if you stumbled across a video of her with a past partner, you still wouldn't know how you ranked. That is unless you ask her to rank you. That's what we're all responding to. It's the fact that you would think to ask such a question.
But let me answer your question. If I knew my partner had better partners than me in her past, it would NOT bother me. Why? The key word there is past. Those partners are no longer with her, but I am. And that's the only thing that would matter to me.
Lastly, you accuse us of being insecure saying we don't care if we totally please our partners. Why? Because I'm not curious to know how I rank? How does that translate to me not caring about whether I'm pleasing my partner? "Hey honey, I'm worried I'm not satisfying you so you'd better tell me how I compared to all the other guys you've been with."
The question was not hypothetical in the sense of, "would you ask, or care to ask, or have a reason to ask" and this far all the responses have been answering that.
The question was, in short, if you KNEW, she had much better partners in her past, as a man, WOULD IT BOTHER YOU?
Talk about insecure, not one person has answered that. I believe for several reasons....you really don't care if you totally please your partner or not, it's about you, two, you are in denial.
It's really a simple question that does not warrant an outside the box analytical response. You're a man, you find out, by any means, you are not her best, does it bother you? Nothing to do with asking, or feeling insecure.
I believe I have:
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll
Over the years I grew confident enough in myself to not care about others in my partners' pasts. After over 8 years of marriage and three kids, I'm definitely not worried about this with my wife.
If this is not an answer to your question then your standard for an acceptable answer is impossibly high.
Well I don't know but women tell me sh*t for whatever reason. I've more then once been the recipient of a cheating wife in my days and they have no issues confiding in me why they cheat. Everything from my husband is selfish, the minute man, the three incher and so on. I've heard it all.
What cheating? That thing over 84% of all marriages will face? The ole 60% of all men and 50% of all women do it. Fact of life, disgusting or not.......
You need to keep in mind, I have never asked a woman this, in one case, over pillow talk, the woman offered it up. One out of many women I've been with, so fortunately it is not a common theme for me. If it were, well, than this might be a different story. Now even in the case where she offered up the information and I objected, she quickly tried to take it back. To the point she almost had an emotional breakdown. It bothered her, that she had hurt my sense of pride and feelings, more then what she said did me.
I do believe that while most men will never admit hearing that "she's had better" would bother them, in reality it would. Men are supposed to and wired to compete and this includes sex. If hearing this does not strike some kind of fire under your behind, then you are probably not the competitive type.
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