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It really depends on who is commenting on your choice.
Parents want grandchildren.
Coworkers may feel competitive.
Neighbors may be just nosy and judgmental if you're different than they are.
Friends may feel competitive, want to set you up with someone, want even numbers for outings, or may feel that they are losing their connection to you if you don't have the same lifestyle (marrieds vs singles), etc.
Close friends may be happy in their relationships, want the same happiness for you, and love you so much that they can't figure out why some equally awesome person hasn't snapped you up.
How you respond depends on who you're talking to, but when that happened to me, I would say things like, "Meh, when the time is right, it will happen." If someone is a real jerk about it, you can always say, "Hey, it's better to be alone than to wish you were," and give them a look like . This is particularly effective if their SO or spouse is standing right there, because the SO or spouse will wonder if the person has complained about him or her to you.
Usually I don't like picking fights or arguments with people, but I don't need or want acknowledgement from others. I'm happy where I'm at college wise and with my goals. If people think of me as a loser, then I don't care, I don't need a stranger's approval and I'd rather be single than change who I am just to be accepted.
Many people might see you as a sad person and think of a relationship as some sort of miracle, one-size-fits-all, snake-oil cure.
If anything, I've observed and noted how I've reacted to certain things and people throughout my entire life up to this point.
Fearing consequences of varying degrees, I choose to continue to stay out of the game and bluntly explain a lighter form of my reasoning for not dating or getting involved with another person.
Why are people given a hard time from others just because they decide not to date or find a relationship with the opposite or same gender? This isn't a pity thread or attacking one gender or another, personally I think relationships are an amazing experience if and only when both parties are comfortable with who they are. Same thing I can say with being single, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to pursue or date. One of my friends asked me the idea of casual dating or taking relationship/dating classes just to gain experience. I simply said no because I don't see the point of dating when you're not interested, of course things can change as someone grows older.
I just wanted to hear people's thoughts on the matter, I've seen a couple of threads where people question why someone wouldn't date person x for whatever reason. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions.
There has been at least one thread on this topic already, but I am glad this has been brought up one way or another.
People have a tendency to project their own desires on others. They can't accept that people are different and that different people want different things. A lot of these people would rather be romantically involved with their torturer than have no romantic involvement at all.
The loneliest I've ever felt was not being all by myself, it was when I was in company of people who were hostile towards me. They really had it out for me. That's where I felt the most alone. I could handle being around people that laugh together and love each other while ignoring me and paying me no mind. But to be around people who want my blood for whatever reason, talk about loneliness. Never again if I have any control over the matter.
Usually I don't like picking fights or arguments with people, but I don't need or want acknowledgement from others. I'm happy where I'm at college wise and with my goals. If people think of me as a loser, then I don't care, I don't need a stranger's approval and I'd rather be single than change who I am just to be accepted.
Yeah, don't worry about what some people say. I don't think she was necessarily calling you a loser. She was just saying that a lot of people who say they don't want a date are actually in a situation where no one wants them.
That said, I don't think I agree with that, because everyone has someone that wants him or her at some point. I'd also reserve the "L" word in those cases.
And if someone is calling you a loser just because you are not holding hands with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex), then that says more about that person than you.
Take me for example. I'm not in a relationship right now, and I'm not really looking for one. I'd be glad to stay single. Now, I get plenty of women throwing me hints, some subtle, some extremely blatant as grabbing me and shoving a tongue down my throat when I'm minding my business unsuspectingly. However, I am not trying to get in any kind of relationship right now. I have other concerns that could get in the way of that. If anyone wants to see me as a loser, he can go right ahead.
Calling someone a loser because they aren't getting any dates...is just...wrong. I'm not trying to argue with you or come at you or anything but people shouldn't put their self value in the hands of dating. Nothing good ever comes out of that. It's a very immature way of thinking. It's okay to want or desire a partner, on you OWN accord, but don't let what society determine what you SHOULD be doing in your life.
It may be wrong but it's still based in truth. I'm not saying your whole life is determined on whether you get dates or not, but the main part of being human is connecting with other humans on an intimate level. If you have failed at that the majority of your life -- well then....most of the people that I used to hang with are in relationships, married and/or have kids and the rest of us are still looking for first dates? I'm sorry something is wrong with that picture.
There has been at least one thread on this topic already, but I am glad this has been brought up one way or another.
People have a tendency to project their own desires on others. They can't accept that people are different and that different people want different things. A lot of these people would rather be romantically involved with their torturer than have no romantic involvement at all.
The loneliest I've ever felt was not being all by myself, it was when I was in company of people who were hostile towards me. They really had it out for me. That's where I felt the most alone. I could handle being around people that laugh together and love each other while ignoring me and paying me no mind. But to be around people who want my blood for whatever reason, talk about loneliness. Never again if I have any control over the matter.
It's a very interesting topic. In the end I think it comes down to validation more than anything else. People like to feel they are doing the right thing and making smart choices. They are validated when they see others making the same choices. So, when they see someone making a difference choice and being happy with that choice.. it makes them second-guess their own decision.
A lot of people are in bad relationships only because they fear being single. Kind of pathetic. I've seen so many toxic relationships with my friends and all the stress, misery and headaches they produce... fighting, arguing, crying, cheating, etc. All because these people are with someone they are not compatible with.
For me.. no compatibility, no relationship. I'm not going to be in a bad relationship just to prove to the world I can be in a relationship.
I'm already at the age (early 30's) where the pressure to partner up is getting strong. Friends getting married, family asking questions, co-workers asking questions, etc. People are already trying to match me up. Society hates when people are unattached. Society cares about what is good for society.. not the individual. People in relationships are good for society: More taxes, growth, kids to market to, money for churches, schools, etc. Single people don't oil the machine the way families do, so they are often viewed as selfish or "getting over" by staying single and hoarding their wealth.
I thought it was pretty clear on here that I'm in that group of people I'm talking about. I'm 34 and never been asked on a date.
That doesn't change anything I said. If you believe you are a loser for not having a dating life.. then you are.
I would not consider you a loser for not having a dating life. There are many uneducated bums flipping burgers who have a dating life and I would never call them "winners" just because they get laid.
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. This is particularly effective if their SO or spouse is standing right there, because the SO or spouse will wonder if the person has complained about him or her to you. 
