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You've made so many assumptions. He does not still live at home. He doesn't prefer large breasts. He's neutral. We don't spend hours discussing breasts. It just came up. No one has ever broken up with him. Yes, he's been in a long term relationship before (this is the one that couldn't talk about the 401K or grown up issues).
He likes to drink socially but isn't looking for a drunk as a potential mother of his future children.
The same person had all the allergies. His sister is a fourth year veterinary student. We LOVE animals. He is a family man. He would like to spend time with his entire family, including his future wife and parents and sister (who have cats). Go out for pizza and a beer? Not happening. Try to give her a little kiss after eating shimp, clams, etc. Nope.
He doesn't bring up citizenship on first dates, but his dates do.
When you first meet someone, they don't automatically tell you that they are moving to Dallas.
I didn't post for him, I posted for other women whom always wonder why they don't called back after the first date or two.
Take it for what it's worth. Don't try to read between the lines.
Why is he a little picky? Because he can be!!!!!
And yes, he really is that WONDERFUL!!!!!
Crazy. My 11 year old niece is allergic to cats. For the two weeks she spends at my house every summer, she takes Benadryl and plays with my cat. I'm hyper vigilant with the vacuum in those two weeks and we've never had that much of an issue about it. Anyone who doesn't drink can go out for pizza and beer, but can eat pizza and drink a Pepsi. What's the big deal if you wait to kiss someone after you have eaten something they're allergic to? We all have our own little weird things that it just seems so small in comparison.
There is honestly nothing on this list that I feel will help any woman figure out why a guy won't call them back after the first date or two. In all reality, if a guy doesn't call you back in the first date or two, don't automatically assume it's your lack of citizenship or your allergies. Just acknowledge that he doesn't want to see you again and the "why" is unimportant as this is just not the right person for you and wallowing in the "why?" can stop you from moving onto the guy who will be the right person for you.
Again - everyone has the right to be picky, but the problem I have with this list is it is in no way universal and comes across as being harsh to women. As though, "this is how YOU blow it with this great guy" when it doesn't seem like that's truly the case. Now that you've indicated that these weren't truly first or second date issues, then I really hope he is telling the girls why he does not want to see them again as opposed to just not calling them back.
My mother also thinks I am that wonderful. She gave me life and is very biased. Even at my worst, she thinks I am great. It's nice, but I also don't let that make me think that the problem is always with other people and never with me.
Again, assumptions. You assumed that I said my son was perfect. I never did. I said he was WONDERFUL. Everyone has their flaws.
This thread was about why SOME girls didn't a second date. There is nothing to debate. The bullets are facts. They are reasons why SOME girls didn't get a second date, nothing more, nothing less. Period.
Crazy. My 11 year old niece is allergic to cats. For the two weeks she spends at my house every summer, she takes Benadryl and plays with my cat. I'm hyper vigilant with the vacuum in those two weeks and we've never had that much of an issue about it. Anyone who doesn't drink can go out for pizza and beer, but can eat pizza and drink a Pepsi. What's the big deal if you wait to kiss someone after you have eaten something they're allergic to? We all have our own little weird things that it just seems so small in comparison.
There is honestly nothing on this list that I feel will help any woman figure out why a guy won't call them back after the first date or two. In all reality, if a guy doesn't call you back in the first date or two, don't automatically assume it's your lack of citizenship or your allergies. Just acknowledge that he doesn't want to see you again and the "why" is unimportant as this is just not the right person for you and wallowing in the "why?" can stop you from moving onto the guy who will be the right person for you.
Again - everyone has the right to be picky, but the problem I have with this list is it is in no way universal and comes across as being harsh to women. As though, "this is how YOU blow it with this great guy" when it doesn't seem like that's truly the case. Now that you've indicated that these weren't truly first or second date issues, then I really hope he is telling the girls why he does not want to see them again as opposed to just not calling them back.
My mother also thinks I am that wonderful. She gave me life and is very biased. Even at my worst, she thinks I am great. It's nice, but I also don't let that make me think that the problem is always with other people and never with me.
Exactly this. There's not much helpful on that list other than some weird specific advice to his situation.
And yeah, it does come across as harsh to women, and very much like "Mommy knows that no one will ever be good enough for her little boy." Speaks more about the mom and her son than the women he "isn't calling back."
of course he is-I'd shake his hand, but I'm afraid I might turn to gold I think the way your OP was worded gave off the impression all this stuff was first date fodder. You post that here are the reasons he didn;t call for a second date, then list your seven bullet points, it leads one to believe that your son thinks these should be discussed on the first date, so I can see why folks thought the way they did. Now that you clarified it makes a bit more sense although I still wonder why he's coming down so harsh on the food allergies, people don't have food allergies because they enjoy it, they can't help it. If Casanova is as near perfect as you claim, he should be a bit more empathetic towards those that cant help their allergies, HE may be perfect, but most women he may meet are not
Agree...and to the bolded...it didn't "give the impression"...she stated it as fact. We all did not misunderstand her post, she made the error. Sensationalism sells, don't ya know?
See below:
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazykatlady
He and I were talking the other day. Here are some of the reasons that he didn't call you for a second date:
Again, assumptions. You assumed that I said my son was perfect. I never did. I said he was WONDERFUL. Everyone has their flaws.
This thread was about why SOME girls didn't a second date. There is nothing to debate. The bullets are facts. They are reasons why SOME girls didn't get a second date, nothing more, nothing less. Period.
In my post, where did I make an assumption you said your son was perfect?
And even if you think there is nothing to debate, there are ten pages of this thread debating them. They are reasons why YOUR SON didn't continue relationships with SOME girls, not some universal facts that can really help anyone else.
If anything, I think the list shown here can show some women that the problem isn't them.
You've made so many assumptions. He does not still live at home. He doesn't prefer large breasts. He's neutral. We don't spend hours discussing breasts. It just came up. No one has ever broken up with him. Yes, he's been in a long term relationship before (this is the one that couldn't talk about the 401K or grown up issues).
He likes to drink socially but isn't looking for a drunk as a potential mother of his future children.
The same person had all the allergies. His sister is a fourth year veterinary student. We LOVE animals. He is a family man. He would like to spend time with his entire family, including his future wife and parents and sister (who have cats). Go out for pizza and a beer? Not happening. Try to give her a little kiss after eating shimp, clams, etc. Nope.
He doesn't bring up citizenship on first dates, but his dates do.
When you first meet someone, they don't automatically tell you that they are moving to Dallas.
I didn't post for him, I posted for other women whom always wonder why they don't called back after the first date or two.
Take it for what it's worth. Don't try to read between the lines.
Why is he a little picky? Because he can be!!!!!
And yes, he really is that WONDERFUL!!!!!
You should have quit while you were ahead, this reply is even more arrogant and delusional than the original.
I think we're being too hard on krazykatlady here.
We *all* have a couple "weird little things" we consider a dealbreaker that most other people would scoff at.
WE. ALL. DO.
We just don't all admit it, or even have a complete conscious awareness of it.
We do, but we don't go around spouting them as universal truths. It is normal to have things that are deal breakers to us, but it is when we try to universalize it as some inherent truth that there is a problem with it. Does that make sense?
As in, Girl A will not call a guy back for a second date because he has six dogs or likes to crochet or something. It doesn't mean that her "dealbreaker" isn't valid to her, but that doesn't mean all guys who aren't being called back fall under the same oddly specific rules.
We do, but we don't go around spouting them as universal truths. It is normal to have things that are deal breakers to us, but it is when we try to universalize it as some inherent truth that there is a problem with it. Does that make sense?
It would be different if her son posted this himself. The fact that Mommy posted it as some kind of lame advice, as if she has some kind of valid glimpse into every relationship rather than just a one-sided conversation with her baby boy, is why she is receiving flak.
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