Why did she bring up the marriage issue? (separate, child support, college)

[RedZin]

Originally Posted by MazzeoC

I find it interesting that people assume her wishes are more important/more relevant than mine. Most of you must be women, I guess.

I don't think her wishes, as an individual, are any more important than yours.

Whether the people responding to you are male or female is irrelevant (it's a mix, by the way).

I DO think that the legal protection of your family unit and survivorship for BOTH of you AND your kids is what is most important.

It's more important than your "down with marriage" stance or her family's "living in sin" stance.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by MazzeoC

Yes, I don't want a piece of paper. What's wrong with it?

I wonder if your kids wish you had that piece of paper when they are old enough to realize that their parents are not like their friends' parents, and people start commenting and making assumptions about their family.

I guess as long as you don't have to be "burdened" by that piece of paper you can have what you want, and the four others in your family just have to accept it.

I am sure you can find some explanation for them as to why you won't marry their mother as she hopes you will.

Good luck with that.

[kat949]

The minute OP said, "Women this, women that" I already assumed he doesn't quite love her as much as he thinks? Love encompasses understanding. He no clues how she feels after being together for a decade? Talk about relationship intimacy.

What is she a surrogate?

[dhwilkin]

Part of the OP's argument against marriage (the part about guaranteeing financial security through a formal contract showing more concern for money than love) is actually similar to the arguments I see against prenuptial agreements. Obviously they're not the exact same situation, but I do find the responses to the theory interesting.

In any event, OP, asking your wife directly if she really has concerns over this would be advisable. Since your view on this is set in stone, there's no sense in wasting everybody's time on this, just go ahead and find out whether this is actually an issue or not.

[Julian658]

Originally Posted by dhwilkin

In any event, OP, asking your wife directly if she really has concerns over this would be advisable. Since your view on this is set in stone, there's no sense in wasting everybody's time on this, just go ahead and find out whether this is actually an issue or not.

I bet OP never asked directly.

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by kat949

The minute OP said, "Women this, women that" I already assumed

that he's one of those little fellows who lives under a bridge, looking to stir things up on a messageboard?

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by kat949

The minute OP said, "Women this, women that" I already assumed

that he's one of those little fellows who lives under a bridge, looking to stir things up on a messageboard?

[softcrunch]

This is the third same story thread I came across.

These clueless men actually believe a woman to stay with her man for many years and have kids with him, would not openly or secretly wish for that due marriage...well, Surprise!!!

[Cantabridgienne]

What a strange post.

You can't ask her directly what she means because she's a woman, and therefore her answer won't matter anyway?

But when you ask strangers on the internet you argue with them if their opinion dissents from yours?

Okay then.

[zentropa]

He also seems to think that a woman wanting financial security for her children through marriage is somehow "all about the money."