How long before the "where is this going" talk? (dating, marriage)
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I'm sure this has been posted here before, but heck if I can find the old threads.
How long do you wait to have the "where is this relationship going" talk with a person you are dating?
Subquestion: if he/she broaches the subject first, and you feel it's too early, does it turn you off?
For me, in the past I have waited various times. My most recent ex and I didn't that's the talk for about a month, when we were already pretty established and knew how one another felt. In contrast , there have been times when my SO at the time and I never had the talk at all, and everything was just understood.
Before it's too late
AKA: as soon as you are an item.
Liking one another, going out and having fun and having great sex is fine and dandy, but life moving forward isn't just about those few things. It's important to have life goals in common or the relationship can never mature past it's beginning stages.
If you are sharing and close with one another this really shouldn't be an issue TBH, it all comes out in normal conversation...you just have to listen.
Last edited by rego00123; 07-14-2014 at 12:38 PM..
If it happens too early, definitely a turn off, and def. would make me skittish. But I think it needs to happen (to some degree) before you sleep with each other, to figure out whether you are on the same page. Too many opportunities for unspoken expectations and then hurt feelings, I would think.
that really depends on many factors. what does each person want from the relationship? was it always going to be a short term one? long term? do either want marriage? are both content with just going with the flow? personally i never ask, i just go with the flow and let what happens, happen. if she wants to bring up the subject, it doesnt turn me off, but she better be ready for honest answers because i will generally tell it like it is.
Idk if I've ever had the need to have this conversation.
Things progress as they progress.
Same here. I mean, we talked about things we might want in the future out of life in general, and how we felt about one another, but it wasn't until we were down to discussing the possibility of cohabitation and marriage that this came up and that was far into the relationship. We had already established we were exclusive and that we loved one another, so there wasn't anything else to discuss in specifics until we were taking it to another level.
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If you want to have this conversation and it doesn't happen naturally (in the flow of your existing relationship), then it's not worth having.
In other words, if you don't know where the relationship is going, then it's not going where you want it to...and you already know that.
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