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Old 07-28-2014, 07:52 AM
 
432 posts, read 362,437 times
Reputation: 308

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjess1951 View Post
Since moving to a new city, I was recruited to play on a coed softball team since I'm pretty baller at sports

Well, there just happens to be this guy on the team that I am pretty attracted to.

The first problem is, one of the girls I met (and plays on the softball team as well) apparently is IN LOVE with this guy and has expressed her interest. He told her that he didn't see her as anything other than a friend. They haven't done anything - no dating, no kissing, no hooking up. However, they are like "best friends". They spend a lot of time together. But I still have this small mental block because if he is in fact interested, I don't want to her her.

Anyways...

This past Friday night, I was invited to go to a birthday party/get-together at a bar. When I got there, I saw that this guy (I'll call him Jason) was there. I said hello to everyone and when I went to say hey to him, I thought he was sticking out his hand to shake me (or high five, one or the other). So when I went to reach for his hand, he said "Oh no, I want a hug!!". So I went in and hugged him.

Later that night, we ended up talking for about an hour about sports. He works at a huge sports network and I'm one of the biggest sports fans. Plus, I was drinking so my competitive flirting nature comes out. We ended up making a bet that my batting average would be higher than his this season. I also told him that I could beat him in any sport, haha.

I didn't really make much of that interaction. But around 7 on Saturday, the girl that likes him texted me and another girl asking if we wanted to go to this bar for a little bit for some drinks. I agreed, got ready and headed there. As I was pulling into the parking lot, my friend called me asking where I was and if I made it there ok. I told her I did and said I was getting ready to walk in. I asked her who she was with so I knew who to look for and Jason happened to be one of them.

Jason and I didn't talk too much at first. There was this one point where he looked down at my foot and saw my tattoo and asked about it. I told him I had another one on my back and he joked "let me see it". Well, I had on a maxi dress so obviously that wasn't happening.

About an hour later, my friend needed to go home (she was going to the beach with her family and had to get up early) so Jason left to take her home and came up. The group became me, Jason, and 2 other friends. We were all standing in a circle talking and all of a sudden Jason goes "So, what's your story? Do you have a boyfriend?". I was a little taken back. I didn't expect him to just come out and ask that. I told him I did not have a boyfriend. He asked more questions like what I do for work and where I live. After about another hour, he suggested we all go to another bar.

We went to a bar that was more in the city. By this time, it was around 1 a.m. When we got to the bar, he sat down at the only seat that was at the bar and I went to the bathroom. When I came back, he quickly got up and gave me his chair and walked across the room to get one for himself. We didn't talk the whole time we were sitting next to each other, but our arms were touching.

As it got closer to 2 a.m., our group dwindled to just me, him and his friend Rachel. Rachel had been hanging out with us all night and I'm assuming really liked my company, so she pulled up the contacts in her phone and slide her phone over to me to put my number in. Well, Jason followed her phone with his. Shortly after that, we headed home.

Then, yesterday at work, I got a group email from Jason inviting everyone to go bowling for $1 bowling night. I also got a second email asking everyone to confirm whether or not they would be at the game on Wednesday. I responded to the bowling email first, saying I'd be there and that he should probably list a location for those of us that haven't been there before. Then I responded to the softball game email saying "Andddddd I'm in here too". Apparently he didn't get my first email about bowling because he responded to my softball email and said "Are you in somewhere else too??".

Bowling was fun. Him and I played on the same lane. I personally thought there was flirting going on, but I'm really bad at this whole flirting and dating thing since I've been out of the game for a while. My first 2 turns were gutter balls. He joked "the next gutter ball you throw, you have to remove an article of clothing". We started flirting a little bit more as the game went on. He would go to high five me and I would do a "fake out" and he would laugh and kind of poke at me (if that makes sense).

What do you guys think?

I'm SO bad at reading signs. My friends say he definitely seems interested but I'm Debbie Downer over here and think "Nah". He is 34 so I hope that the "games" of the typical 20-sum year old isn't a factor.

Yes, he's interested.
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Old 07-28-2014, 08:12 AM
 
416 posts, read 396,033 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by CapsChick View Post
The thing is, you could be coming back here every couple of days to post another transcript of your communications with him and asking us to analyze. How I don't miss these days of trying to determine the meaning of everything a guy says! I'm reminded of a Sex and the City episode (as I often am): in this one, Carrie invited Miranda over to listen to a message from Big over and over again and wondering what it means. Miranda says "we could listen to this message for years and not know!" In other words, it's a waste of time.

Drunk texting should be off-limits regardless of the nature of the relationship. You should try not to do that again.

I'm also curious what a 34-year-old guy thinks about you spending your weekends with people who get so drunk they puke. He should be past that point and probably would expect the same from his dates. Not that you were the one who puked, but that's what you chose to discuss with him. It emphasizes your age difference.

FWIW, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't initiate contact with this guy again. I think I'd probably also stop the constant playful jabs, which signal "friend zone" loud and clear.
I know, I know. Sometimes I just like to express my feelings in a public forum and have people listen.

I understand what you are saying about hanging out with people who get so drunk they puke. I should probably explain since she isn't someone I typically spend a lot of time with (She also moved to another state so it was her last weekend). I would hope that him being around me the weekend we were out together, plus me not drinking in any of the group settings would show him that I am past that stage.

When you say to stop the playful jabs, that it signals friend zone, does that mean that I'm making it seem like I'm putting him in the friend zone?

I will admit, that is something I'm bad at. When it comes to flirting, I have this competitive joking nature about me. I feel like if I give them a hard time, it will come across as flirting - but maybe it doesn't.

I will say, I briefly dated a guy that when we talked, it was always this playful, yet really mean jabs conversation. It got to the point where I didn't like it and it really upset me because even though he was playing, I wanted him to say something nice, not always give me a hard time about EVERYTHING.

Ugh, hopefully I didn't mess this up. I don't plan on initiating any contact. I don't even want to talk to him on Wednesday at our game. I just want to undo any damage I did and I'm not sure how to get back in the "I'm interested" category.

Last edited by sweetjess1951; 07-28-2014 at 08:28 AM..
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Old 07-28-2014, 08:13 AM
 
416 posts, read 396,033 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsydevil82 View Post
Sounds like he's interested, and maybe he just isn't very good at flirting either. I am smiling OP because I was always like you...I could NEVER flirt...never asked a guy out either.

If you are afraid of making things awkward, next time you see him in an outing, or at the game, in conversation suggest you two hang out together alone. If he declines, then he's probably not interested. Just don't get drunk & throw up all over like your friend
Haha, I'm not much of a drinker, to be honest. So no worries there!!
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Old 07-28-2014, 08:16 AM
 
416 posts, read 396,033 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frayzer View Post
Yes, he's interested.
Explanation?
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