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No one is telling you to be friends with these women you reject. As for people feeling awkward around you, it's your problem if you're the cause. Why should your friends or coworkers have to feel uncomfortable all because you couldn't be a grownup about being rejected?
Even if it affects the other people around you? If you can't be cordial or professional with someone who turned you down for a date, that speaks volumes about you.
Oh please. Don't even try making this about gender. We could switch it around and have the man be the one who rejected the woman. If she refused to talk to him, then she'd be the one who's guilty of being childish and immature.
I'm gonna make this simple for you, so read carefully. If a woman rejects me, I won't talk to her again. I don't care if you think it's childish and I don't care if you think it's immature. My coworkers, friends, and boss like me so I'm not worried about that. Your opinion about my character and who I am as a person means absolutely nothing to me. If it's not in the workplace, I'm not obligated to speak to anyone I don't want to talk to. Is that clear enough?
No one is telling you to be friends with these women you reject. As for people feeling awkward around you, it's your problem if you're the cause. Why should your friends or coworkers have to feel uncomfortable all because you couldn't be a grownup about being rejected?
Even if it affects the other people around you? If you can't be cordial or professional with someone who turned you down for a date, that speaks volumes about you.
Oh please. Don't even try making this about gender. We could switch it around and have the man be the one who rejected the woman. If she refused to talk to him, then she'd be the one who's guilty of being childish and immature.
I don't know maybe I'm different, but I really don't see the big deal with it. I can't tell someone how they should feel or act after they have been rejected. I don't know how strong their feelings were for that person that rejected them. And I don't think the person who rejected them should dictate how their relationship with that person should be going further under any circumstances. If I reject a lady and she never wants to talk to me again, I am not losing any sleep over it, nor am I thinking she is a bad person. She has to do what is best for her, and if she feels not talking to me works best for her life, why should I say to her "well at least you can say hi and be respectful" I made a choice not to be with her and she made a choice to never speak to me again. Oh well. Just like she has respected my decision, I should respect hers. No harm in that what so ever
I'm gonna make this simple for you, so read carefully. If a woman rejects me, I won't talk to her again. I don't care if you think it's childish and I don't care if you think it's immature. My coworkers, friends, and boss like me so I'm not worried about that. Your opinion about my character and who I am as a person means absolutely nothing to me. If it's not in the workplace, I'm not obligated to speak to anyone I don't want to talk to. Is that clear enough?
Yes, it's clear that you don't care about what anyone else thinks. With that attitude, I'm sure you'll have great success in dating. And I'm sure your friends and coworkers would be thrilled to be around a person who makes things awkward for them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,120,090 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Yes, it's clear that you don't care about what anyone else thinks. With that attitude, I'm sure you'll have great success in dating. And I'm sure your friends and coworkers would be thrilled to be around a person who makes things awkward for them.
The "its all about me, I don't care what anyone thinks" mindset is generally grown out of by mid/late 20s. It's just a phase (an annoying one), lots of us had it for a period.
It's not about friendship. If they're work colleagues or are on a soccer team with you, or something, then it would be unnecessarily awkward if the guy refused to speak to someone they interact with. It would come off as childish. Surely a mature adult can manage to be cordial, rather than ignoring or avoiding someone for months or years.
I'm sure they are cordial with colleagues or teammates, but cordial does not mean that they chat it up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
And I don't think the person who rejected them should dictate how their relationship with that person should be going further under any circumstances. If I reject a lady and she never wants to talk to me again, I am not losing any sleep over it, nor am I thinking she is a bad person. She has to do what is best for her, and if she feels not talking to me works best for her life, why should I say to her "well at least you can say hi and be respectful" I made a choice not to be with her and she made a choice to never speak to me again. Oh well. Just like she has respected my decision, I should respect hers. No harm in that what so ever
I don't know maybe I'm different, but I really don't see the big deal with it. I can't tell someone how they should feel or act after they have been rejected. I don't know how strong their feelings were for that person that rejected them. And I don't think the person who rejected them should dictate how their relationship with that person should be going further under any circumstances. If I reject a lady and she never wants to talk to me again, I am not losing any sleep over it, nor am I thinking she is a bad person. She has to do what is best for her, and if she feels not talking to me works best for her life, why should I say to her "well at least you can say hi and be respectful" I made a choice not to be with her and she made a choice to never speak to me again. Oh well. Just like she has respected my decision, I should respect hers. No harm in that what so ever
That is exactly how I see it. It has happen to me both ways and they respected my decision and I will respect theirs. I find it more entitled to dictate the feelings of another person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
The "its all about me, I don't care what anyone thinks" mindset is generally grown out of by mid/late 20s. It's just a phase (an annoying one), lots of us had it for a period.
I disagree with this there is no selfishness. One person has the right to not return romantic feelings and the other person has a right to end the friend. The friendship can keep going or it can end both are completely valid. Both parties are looking out for their interest since its their feelings so trying to make a bad guy out of one of them is inane.
As long as that person is not harming you in any way shape or form, I say let them be. Just like you rejected them for what they wanted and expect them to respect your decision on that matter, pay them that same respect. It may actually help them get over your rejection of them. Which I think we all would agree is in the best in everyone's best interest.
Yes, it's clear that you don't care about what anyone else thinks. With that attitude, I'm sure you'll have great success in dating. And I'm sure your friends and coworkers would be thrilled to be around a person who makes things awkward for them.
Actually, they're very comfortable around me. Nice try.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,120,090 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaybirdX
I disagree with this there is no selfishness. One person has the right to not return romantic feelings and the other person has a right to end the friend. The friendship can keep going or it can end both are completely valid. Both parties are looking out for their interest since its their feelings so trying to make a bad guy out of one of them is inane.
Not being friends is fine. No one said otherwise. But not being pleasant and cordial? Why would I treat someone worse than a stranger just because they said no to a date proposition?
Sorry, that is selfish and immature, virtually by definition.
Not being friends is fine. No one said otherwise. But not being pleasant and cordial? Why would I treat someone worse than a stranger just because they said no to a date proposition?
Sorry, that is selfish and immature, virtually by definition.
Nobody has to be pleasant and cordial to everyone they come into contact with.
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