Why do some men have a secret family? (marriages, women, mistress)
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My parents divorced two years ago after my mother found out he had been hiding another family for almost 10 years. We're 3 siblings and he had two other children with his mistress. This second woman found out he was having an affair with a third and told my mother about what was going on out of revenge.
I mean, what's seriously the point of having a second family? Now he has lost the respect of everyone, none of the kids want much to do with him and he wreaked havoc on my mother's life.
I call him once in a while to see how he's doing, he's still my father after all. But this could have been much simpler. I'm not saying marriages have to last forever but if he didn't want to be with my mother anymore, why not just speak to her?
I'm a man but I would never get myself into such trouble. Too many resources and time spent, too many lies.
Might be one of the families was an accident and your father was too much of a gentleman to bail out on his pregnant mistress? After that, things just kept going along as they did.
Can't really condone your father's initial unfaithfulness, but at least he took care of his kids and their mothers.
I doubt many men who have two families intentionally went down that road. Like any cheater, they do not want their spouse to know so they keep it hidden. Difference is, their cheating resulted in a pregnancy.
I can't tell you why, but may I in turn ask HOW?. I do not have enough time for one household and all it's members, how do people do it? I don't even understand how people find time to have an affair, assuming it takes up as little as 5-10 hours a week... but a whole family? You may have asked a question no one would be able to answer.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank
I can't tell you why, but may I in turn ask HOW?. I do not have enough time for one household and all it's members, how do people do it? I don't even understand how people find time to have an affair, assuming it takes up as little as 5-10 hours a week... but a whole family? You may have asked a question no one would be able to answer.
My parents divorced two years ago after my mother found out he had been hiding another family for almost 10 years. We're 3 siblings and he had two other children with his mistress. This second woman found out he was having an affair with a third and told my mother about what was going on out of revenge.
I mean, what's seriously the point of having a second family? Now he has lost the respect of everyone, none of the kids want much to do with him and he wreaked havoc on my mother's life.
I call him once in a while to see how he's doing, he's still my father after all. But this could have been much simpler. I'm not saying marriages have to last forever but if he didn't want to be with my mother anymore, why not just speak to her?
I'm a man but I would never get myself into such trouble. Too many resources and time spent, too many lies.
Because monogamy is not normal. It was adopted by society. It is not natural to our species.
Strip away all of the social, mental, and thought aspect, the root cause is a genetic drive to have more offspring by your father.
When asked, "would you cheat if you knew you wouldn't get caught" something like 80% of men and 60% of women responded yes.
Every person is. Nearly every person. At least 7 in 10.
And yes, my lady and I do not restrict our company solely to one another. As long as both of us are involved.
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