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Im a 41 year old straight white male who has dated this woman who I feel is using me for money. We have been dating for over 3.5 years.
This woman is 37 years old.
About me. I have aspergers and struggle meeting woman. I'm college educated live alone in a 1 bedroom apartment and drive a car.
About this woman. She has lupus and aspergers. She didn't go to college. She is on ssi and lives with her parents in magnolia seattle. She doesn't have a drivers license.
I feel that this woman doesn't love me but is only with me to use me for free car rides and free movies and free restaurant meals.
This woman always lies to me that she has no money.
I was in a similar situation…bought this girl meals sometimes 2-3 times a day and rarely a thank you, she moved in and I paid all the mortgage and she paid the power bill, went on expensive vacations I paid for, loaned her money she said she would pay back and didn’t. When confronted years into the relationship she said “I was raised that a man takes care of a woman” — her saying that just rubbed me all kinds of wrong ways like she didn’t appreciate anything I did…it was just what I was supposed to do. I wanted to work together financially to help her and me and move towards how I thought marriage should be with both people contributing.
Bottom line is if you feel used it doesn’t get any easier to break it off the longer it goes. I fell in love and during that process didn’t think about being used because I had companionship. After a few years though it started grating on me and I internalized how I felt…then it blew up into arguments but I still loved her. Eventually I went to my parents house because the stress and to work on my mental health… she stayed in the house rent free for 6 months while she broke up with me several more times after agreeing to work on it. Then she said sign a lease and ended up paying 3 months out of 6….broke up with me a few more times after we agreed to work on it. Finally she said she didn’t want me anymore for good and I said I’d have to evict her since I couldn’t handle the stress of an ex living in my house. She was furious but I had the right since she didn’t honor the lease.. On her way out she took some expensive stuff I had left there. Anyway, just an ugly situation…and I kinda feel like she might have been using me the year we were apart….working on it and breaking up over and over just to have a free place or one she could just pay rent when she wanted.
Looking back I spent probably $40-50k/year on maintaining how we lived. She really had no worries other than the power bill. I can see how that would be appealing. Now she’s in the real world though and will have to pay all that herself or find another guy to mooch off of.
Im a 41 year old straight white male who has dated this woman who I feel is using me for money. We have been dating for over 3.5 years.
This woman is 37 years old.
About me. I have aspergers and struggle meeting woman. I'm college educated live alone in a 1 bedroom apartment and drive a car.
About this woman. She has lupus and aspergers. She didn't go to college. She is on ssi and lives with her parents in magnolia seattle. She doesn't have a drivers license.
I feel that this woman doesn't love me but is only with me to use me for free car rides and free movies and free restaurant meals.
This woman always lies to me that she has no money.
My feelings are hurt!!!
What should I do??
You are letting yourself used for money. She isn’t the problem. You have control.
So...are you just with her because you don't want to be alone?
Yes
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