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Sometimes it has nothing to do with looks. I've found some guys really attractive and good looking, but just didn't feel a connection in the sense that we "clicked" personality-wise. Sometimes you meet someone and you just talk really easily, there's a good flow to the conversation, you have a ton of things in common, and you almost feel like you've known them forever even though you just met. Sometimes when people don't feel that right off the bat, they assume there's no connection, and move on instead of trying to build one. Nothing wrong with that either, I guess it just depends how much time each person is willing to invest and whether they want to explore things to see if there's a connection down the road, vs. just finding someone else that they feel it with instantly. Or at least that's my interpretation based on my own experiences. Some people might also call it chemistry, although for me I look for more of an intellectual/emotional connection over physical. Don't take it personal, it rarely is.
Was it unusual because he used that word or because he didn't feel a connection?
The word. It just seemed like sort of a contrived or stilted phrasing.
Quote:
What was weird about my experience was that during the lunch date, I hadn't really decided how I felt about him yet (which in hindsight, I now know isn't a good sign for me), but I was friendly, and to be honest, he didn't really seem attracted to me either from what I could tell, he seemed aloof and almost apathetic. Then when the date was ending and we were saying goodbye in a parking lot, I gave him a friendly hug goodbye, and he suddenly GRABS me and kisses me on the lips. Then stops while holding me close and glares at me in the eyes for a second or two, then released me. It was really strange and sudden given his prior aloofness during the date, I didn't know how to react.
Next day, I got a message from him saying he didn't feel a connection.
If you're not interested, you're not interested. But don't think you're doing me a favor by doing that. You're doing it for yourself anyway, so you don't feel as bad.
Unfortunately it means you're a nice guy. Or worst yet, a nice guy who's sexual advances came across as creepy.
I was in Starbucks today and there was a couple beside me obviously on their first date. Both were probably 40sh. She was well put together, casual yet attractively presentable. He however was rocking white velcro sneakers I get it if you're over 70, but him, really?
The guy bombed horribly.
Don't be that guy in your look, demeanor, conversation, etc. No one wants to get laid by white velcro shoe guy, no one, ever.
When someone says this to you after a first date, doesn't that mean that they did not feel attracted to you, whether that be physically or emotionally?
in any relationship, there is always a connection of a sort. for dating though, there is always a physical attraction of a sort, but the date(s) are where you develop an emotional attraction.
and with each successive date you build on that emotional attraction. but if there is no emotional attraction, then the relationship will never be successful for romance.
But then you would call her a b-tch if she did exactly that, right?
No, I'd bounce since I have other options. But I don't appreciate someone spewing BS thinking they're sparing my feelings, when they're really just doing it for themselves.
If you're not interested, you're not interested. But don't think you're doing me a favor by doing that. You're doing it for yourself anyway, so you don't feel as bad.
I think people find faults with euphemisms like that regardless of the other's intent. When I did online dating, I would thank my dates, and let them know I didn't think we were a "great match"...which I felt encompassed looks, personality, compatibility, etc. I once had a guy call back and ask if I meant that he was "unattractive." Though it was uncomfortable to admit this, I let him know I didn't feel physically attracted to him. After calling me a b#@ch and a few undeserved names, he hung up.
Sometimes people revert to euphemisms because they fear that others may have trouble digesting the unpalatable truth.
No, I'd bounce since I have other options. But I don't appreciate someone spewing BS thinking they're sparing my feelings, when they're really just doing it for themselves.
And how is that attitude working for you so far? Options.... what a laugh!
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I get it if you're over 70, but him, really? 
