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I was dating a guy that I was really into for about 2.5 months, seeing each other a few days a week. He stayed with me at least once a week and he was always very affectionate, we'd wake up together and spend hours talking about everything, he'd even be late or miss class to cuddle with me. He's someone that I could really see a future with.
The problem was that we met while he was studying for his boards and doing rotations. One night when were texting to set up a date, he jokingly told me I was a distraction. He said that every time he sees me, he loses at least 2 days of studying. He said he likes spending time with me, but in his words, it was like someone with diabetes who loves sweets. I understood what he meant since if he wasn't with me, he could study during the day, go out with friends just for the night, and then study the next day. The next night he came and slept over and he brought up the distraction thing saying how he apparently gets "so relaxed" when he spends time with me that he doesn't do what he's supposed to. The next day was the movie night and he texted me about going to see it at 9 because he was studying. I thought it was kinda late considering we both has school or work the next day, but didn't think much of it. He was very affectionate during the movie as usual, hugging me the whole time and caressing my fingers/shoulder and holding my hands. Afterwords, he said he had to go home bc it was late but suggested getting a drink. At the bar, I suggested him coming back to my place for a bit. He really wanted to come with me, so he came and left my house around 3am.
The next day, I texted him about getting to his new rotation location on time and he responded saying he didn't go bc he overslept. I asked what he tells them when he can't come in and he responded saying he's never been absent or late to work before. I said sorry and he told me it really wasn't my fault, it was his. I initiated texting him twice during the rest of the week and he wasn't really trying to chat. Then that wknd was the first time since we met that I hadn't heard form him to make plans or come over. I texted him sat evening saying i missed him and asking what's up, but he didn't respond. Later I saw some girl tagged him in pix at a party and it made me mad. I texted him again around 1am asking why he was ignoring me and he responded right away saying sorry he just got home from a a party and his phone wasn't on before (which I don't believe). He sent me a few drunk texts and liking and then I did't hear from him for 2.5 days so i texted him asking if why he's being distant. He apologized and started saying that missing work that day was a wake up call that he need to remember what's really important right now, passing his exams and getting residency. He said he can't control himself when it comes to spending time with me and will always choose to do it even when he shouldn't, he's not good at multitasking and gets easily distracted. At that point, I suggested taking a break from each other until he takes his exam and he said that would be best. We talked over a few things on the phone and he basically agreed that we'd put it on hold until after his exam. He said if he didn't care about us then he's just stop spending time with me, but he can't help himself and likes being with me.
He texted me 2 days later asking to come over to see me one more time before our break. He did and the next morning we discussed everything. I brought up how maybe we could just talk through text to check up on each other once in a while and just not meet, but he said that wouldn't work since there's no way we wouldn't just give in and try to see each other. We both said we didn't want to stop dating, but things will be better when he takes his exam and doesn't have to worry anymore. He always said his exam would probably be in July and so I kept talking about "4 weeks" being such a long time and he said "You can't just wait a few weeks?" and told me nothing would really change. Though he did say its possible he might not take it if he's not ready and wait until August. He assured me he'd contact me and we could start dating again and I joked about him never talking to me again. He got kinda annoyed and said "if you really think I wouldn't contact you, then you don't know me at all." I told him that I know him, and I know he will. When I joked about him telling me to date other people, he got kinda mad and said he doesn't want me to. He brought up me mentioning a guys name once and I let him know i'm not interested in him. He said he wouldn't forget about me. Before leaving, I told him to let me know when his exam is or if he's not taking it until later and he agreed. I gave him a little trinket to remember me by and we hugged/kissed goodbye. I was completely ok with how it all went down and felt confident.
It's now the end of August and I still haven't heard from him. I'm assuming he didn't take the exam in July bc he wasn't ready and decided on the August, but he was supposed to have let me know either way and I'm assuming the August exam passed too. I decided I wouldn't reach out because I told him I wasn't going to and that he needed to contact me about his exam, and I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt the waiting for him to contact me with some excuse. I assume he didn't want to reach out about not taking it in July because he didn't want to get caught up and distracted with me again, which MAAAYBE I could forgive. However, it's the end of August now. I feel terrible because it's like he doesn't care about my feelings at all and broke all his promises to me. I really never expected to not hear from him by now and I don't know what to do, we said it'd be 4 weeks or 8 at most if he didn't take it in july, but now its been as long as we dated. This is all completely out of character for him, the person I knew wouldn't do this. I've tried dating other guys, I meet men all the time and get approached a lot, but I can't stop thinking about him and wondering if he'll contact me. I can't date a guy under false pretenses, knowing that there's this other guy who may try to come back. Sometimes I want to just pick up the phone and see if he'll answer my call or text him telling him I wish we never met or asking why he's such a coward. At this point, I don't care if he's met someone new or just wants to be single, I just want him to have the decency to let me know like we agreed. It'll hurt, but that's better than just cutting me out of his life forever without explanation.
I was dating a guy that I was really into for about 2.5 months, seeing each other a few days a week. He stayed with me at least once a week and he was always very affectionate, we'd wake up together and spend hours talking about everything, he'd even be late or miss class to cuddle with me. He's someone that I could really see a future with.
The problem was that we met while he was studying for his boards and doing rotations. One night when were texting to set up a date, he jokingly told me I was a distraction. He said that every time he sees me, he loses at least 2 days of studying. He said he likes spending time with me, but in his words, it was like someone with diabetes who loves sweets. I understood what he meant since if he wasn't with me, he could study during the day, go out with friends just for the night, and then study the next day. The next night he came and slept over and he brought up the distraction thing saying how he apparently gets "so relaxed" when he spends time with me that he doesn't do what he's supposed to. The next day was the movie night and he texted me about going to see it at 9 because he was studying. I thought it was kinda late considering we both has school or work the next day, but didn't think much of it. He was very affectionate during the movie as usual, hugging me the whole time and caressing my fingers/shoulder and holding my hands. Afterwords, he said he had to go home bc it was late but suggested getting a drink. At the bar, I suggested him coming back to my place for a bit. He really wanted to come with me, so he came and left my house around 3am.
The next day, I texted him about getting to his new rotation location on time and he responded saying he didn't go bc he overslept. I asked what he tells them when he can't come in and he responded saying he's never been absent or late to work before. I said sorry and he told me it really wasn't my fault, it was his. I initiated texting him twice during the rest of the week and he wasn't really trying to chat. Then that wknd was the first time since we met that I hadn't heard form him to make plans or come over. I texted him sat evening saying i missed him and asking what's up, but he didn't respond. Later I saw some girl tagged him in pix at a party and it made me mad. I texted him again around 1am asking why he was ignoring me and he responded right away saying sorry he just got home from a a party and his phone wasn't on before (which I don't believe). He sent me a few drunk texts and liking and then I did't hear from him for 2.5 days so i texted him asking if why he's being distant. He apologized and started saying that missing work that day was a wake up call that he need to remember what's really important right now, passing his exams and getting residency. He said he can't control himself when it comes to spending time with me and will always choose to do it even when he shouldn't, he's not good at multitasking and gets easily distracted. At that point, I suggested taking a break from each other until he takes his exam and he said that would be best. We talked over a few things on the phone and he basically agreed that we'd put it on hold until after his exam. He said if he didn't care about us then he's just stop spending time with me, but he can't help himself and likes being with me.
He texted me 2 days later asking to come over to see me one more time before our break. He did and the next morning we discussed everything. I brought up how maybe we could just talk through text to check up on each other once in a while and just not meet, but he said that wouldn't work since there's no way we wouldn't just give in and try to see each other. We both said we didn't want to stop dating, but things will be better when he takes his exam and doesn't have to worry anymore. He always said his exam would probably be in July and so I kept talking about "4 weeks" being such a long time and he said "You can't just wait a few weeks?" and told me nothing would really change. Though he did say its possible he might not take it if he's not ready and wait until August. He assured me he'd contact me and we could start dating again and I joked about him never talking to me again. He got kinda annoyed and said "if you really think I wouldn't contact you, then you don't know me at all." I told him that I know him, and I know he will. When I joked about him telling me to date other people, he got kinda mad and said he doesn't want me to. He brought up me mentioning a guys name once and I let him know i'm not interested in him. He said he wouldn't forget about me. Before leaving, I told him to let me know when his exam is or if he's not taking it until later and he agreed. I gave him a little trinket to remember me by and we hugged/kissed goodbye. I was completely ok with how it all went down and felt confident.
It's now the end of August and I still haven't heard from him. I'm assuming he didn't take the exam in July bc he wasn't ready and decided on the August, but he was supposed to have let me know either way and I'm assuming the August exam passed too. I decided I wouldn't reach out because I told him I wasn't going to and that he needed to contact me about his exam, and I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt the waiting for him to contact me with some excuse. I assume he didn't want to reach out about not taking it in July because he didn't want to get caught up and distracted with me again, which MAAAYBE I could forgive. However, it's the end of August now. I feel terrible because it's like he doesn't care about my feelings at all and broke all his promises to me. I really never expected to not hear from him by now and I don't know what to do, we said it'd be 4 weeks or 8 at most if he didn't take it in july, but now its been as long as we dated. This is all completely out of character for him, the person I knew wouldn't do this. I've tried dating other guys, I meet men all the time and get approached a lot, but I can't stop thinking about him and wondering if he'll contact me. I can't date a guy under false pretenses, knowing that there's this other guy who may try to come back. Sometimes I want to just pick up the phone and see if he'll answer my call or text him telling him I wish we never met or asking why he's such a coward. At this point, I don't care if he's met someone new or just wants to be single, I just want him to have the decency to let me know like we agreed. It'll hurt, but that's better than just cutting me out of his life forever without explanation.
Sorry this happened. My thoughts are he is in a very busy point in his life and as he's stated many times. Your relationship could have a very negative impact upon his future, as it has already. He has obligations to fulfill. He's too busy for a relationship from what you've posted. I'd move on. Good luck to you
Personally I would move on but keep the line of communication open with this guy.
It sounds like he told you the truth that you are a distraction that he just cannot afford.
Try very hard to think about other things. Let him contact you. He has already said once that this relationship is too much for him right now. Don't make him say it again.
I hope a future doctor doesn't really think someone with diabetes can't enjoy sweets.
It sounds like this guy is pretty laser-focused on his career right now. You could send him a text asking how the test went, but that's probably about it. If he wants to see you, he will get in touch. Unfortunately, guys vanish without explanation all the time. That said, it isn't quite the end of August yet!
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